Why I absolutely fucking refuse to buy prophylactics!
Why I absolutely fucking refuse to buy prophylactics!
(a few days old but i figured out something so here it is.)
He has the right idea...
In high school, I was the condom queen. I proudly bought condoms and encouraged every woman I knew to do the same. We shouldn’t have to rely on Men to provide our condoms. That gives them all the power and control that we should be utilizing in the interest of our own safety.
I am turning 25 in a few days and though this might be apparent, let me enlighten you on a few facts.
1. I am a grown up with a job. – as such, I should not be having sex with people who lack regular income coming in.
2. I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS.
It seems to me that if you have a penis and a job you should have condoms. I ain’t buying em. You don’t see me askin you to chip in on Yasmin, do you? FUCK NO!
Years of buying condoms have shown me that yall are ungrateful walking erections. I have learned these things.
That.
1. If I buy them, yall get used to that shit.
Yall stop coming thru with condoms all together. I run out and yall have the audacity to say some dumb shit like “what do you mean, your out of condoms?” Bitch, why are you out of condoms? Dick havin motherfucker.
&
2. Yall have special requests:
Oh, you prefer magnums? Oh wait you like extra ribbed?
Fuck you. Even if I was buying condoms, I sure as hell ain’t takin special orders. This isn’t Starbucks. I would purchase the most resilient condoms that are useful to the most diverse demographic. That means you’re all getting Dual Pleasure. Coulda been straight fuckery and you only got “For her pleasure”. The dual part is me showing that I care. Its all for show.
&
3. Magnums cost extra.
If you don’t need a magnum, I hate to ruin the moment and let you know but YOU DON’T NEED A BIG ASS CONDOM. Your dick is average. Sometimes its not even average. So you enjoy have your dick feel free in loose ass plastic? I don’t even think that shit is safe. Booo. Wear one that fits. I would love to see some penis honesty in 2008. a nice “I know its not huge but I make it do what it do.” Damn real. And AMEN. I applaud your honesty sir. BRAVO!!!!
If I am nice enough to bestow upon you the goodness that is wet pussy, the least you can do is swathe your genitals in plastic. Booo to you sirs, Boo to you. Non condom buying motherfuckers. Baggy bastards. Your mom is ashamed.
Condom Air force ones?
(a few days old but i figured out something so here it is.)
He has the right idea...
In high school, I was the condom queen. I proudly bought condoms and encouraged every woman I knew to do the same. We shouldn’t have to rely on Men to provide our condoms. That gives them all the power and control that we should be utilizing in the interest of our own safety.
I am turning 25 in a few days and though this might be apparent, let me enlighten you on a few facts.
1. I am a grown up with a job. – as such, I should not be having sex with people who lack regular income coming in.
2. I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS.
It seems to me that if you have a penis and a job you should have condoms. I ain’t buying em. You don’t see me askin you to chip in on Yasmin, do you? FUCK NO!
Years of buying condoms have shown me that yall are ungrateful walking erections. I have learned these things.
That.
1. If I buy them, yall get used to that shit.
Yall stop coming thru with condoms all together. I run out and yall have the audacity to say some dumb shit like “what do you mean, your out of condoms?” Bitch, why are you out of condoms? Dick havin motherfucker.
&
2. Yall have special requests:
Oh, you prefer magnums? Oh wait you like extra ribbed?
Fuck you. Even if I was buying condoms, I sure as hell ain’t takin special orders. This isn’t Starbucks. I would purchase the most resilient condoms that are useful to the most diverse demographic. That means you’re all getting Dual Pleasure. Coulda been straight fuckery and you only got “For her pleasure”. The dual part is me showing that I care. Its all for show.
&
3. Magnums cost extra.
If you don’t need a magnum, I hate to ruin the moment and let you know but YOU DON’T NEED A BIG ASS CONDOM. Your dick is average. Sometimes its not even average. So you enjoy have your dick feel free in loose ass plastic? I don’t even think that shit is safe. Booo. Wear one that fits. I would love to see some penis honesty in 2008. a nice “I know its not huge but I make it do what it do.” Damn real. And AMEN. I applaud your honesty sir. BRAVO!!!!
If I am nice enough to bestow upon you the goodness that is wet pussy, the least you can do is swathe your genitals in plastic. Booo to you sirs, Boo to you. Non condom buying motherfuckers. Baggy bastards. Your mom is ashamed.
Condom Air force ones?
Comments