I have been known to have the worst taste in men.
I have been known to have the worst taste in men.
Seriously. I will not even go into the various tales of “dates gone wrong” but trust me, from the saga of the Zen Buddah Master, to the more recent “Liquor made me do it” endeavors I have run into damn near every Hell Naw possible. Shit, I ran into a few Hell Naws that I didn’t even know existed. But I think I’m starting to get it. It took me 25 years but I think I’m really starting to get it.
First you need trust. You have to give trust but also be sure to give trust to someone who is actually worthy of trust. Giving trust to an asshole is not a good look. That’s like pre-gaming a party with several patron shots. Its okay at the time but you’ll regret it later
You have to keep your eyes open for signs of future Oh Hell Nos. They pop up quite clearly; all you gotta do is watch.
Give up the past. Whether it’s old So and So who broke your heart and fucked your sister or “The one who got away”, that shit is in the past. I spent 8 years following “the one who got away” only to realize that while pining over his dumb ass I let the REAL man slip through my fingers. Looking backwards will only get you whiplash in the long run.
You have to be open to the possibility that Not Everyone is an asshole. Not saying everyone is a saint but if every time someone approaches you, they get a waiting to exhale vibe that shit ain’t gonna fly.
You have to know how to recognize the difference between a boy and a man. A man pays bills, takes care of home first, shows respect and understands the value of commitment. A boy runs up bills, comes home only to sleep and eat, talks out the side of his neck and is only seriously committed to his dick and his mama.
You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good, you shouldn’t need extensive breathers from whomever you’re dating because they are too negative or annoying. Your relationship should not make you want to break shit. Especially not your own shit.
You have to have a Mental and a Physical attraction, neither one can stand alone and be sufficient. I have tried it both ways and it fell short. If I cant talk to you and only want to sleep with you what is the use in that. If I can talk to you but cringe when you touch me, that’s no fuckin good either.
You have to take time & enjoy the process. It’s dating not rocket science and if you aren’t having fun, why bother?
It’s not about money and it’s not about cars or clothes and in truth, its not even about size (Shocking isn’t it).
It’s about finding someone you are comfortable with, who you can talk to and it’s about magic…
Not that Criss Angel Mind freak shit… (Though it is about mind-sex alil.)
It’s about magic and Yes, I do believe in magic.
That excitement when you meet someone, that tingle when you like them and the long term magic of finding someone who doesn’t annoy the shit out of you, who you actually might consider committing to for an extended period of time.
Like that shit, that growing old, turning gray, holding hands, while rocking on a porch type shit. That shit is magic. Cuz 50% of the people who aim for that shit bail out and get divorces. So if you can do that, have that and nurture it, that’s magic.
I guess I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. And deep down, through all the bullshit I think the fact that I’m able to keep that hope and nurture it…. Well that shit is magic too.
~ Netta (Seeking peace and pursuing it daily)
Seriously. I will not even go into the various tales of “dates gone wrong” but trust me, from the saga of the Zen Buddah Master, to the more recent “Liquor made me do it” endeavors I have run into damn near every Hell Naw possible. Shit, I ran into a few Hell Naws that I didn’t even know existed. But I think I’m starting to get it. It took me 25 years but I think I’m really starting to get it.
First you need trust. You have to give trust but also be sure to give trust to someone who is actually worthy of trust. Giving trust to an asshole is not a good look. That’s like pre-gaming a party with several patron shots. Its okay at the time but you’ll regret it later
You have to keep your eyes open for signs of future Oh Hell Nos. They pop up quite clearly; all you gotta do is watch.
Give up the past. Whether it’s old So and So who broke your heart and fucked your sister or “The one who got away”, that shit is in the past. I spent 8 years following “the one who got away” only to realize that while pining over his dumb ass I let the REAL man slip through my fingers. Looking backwards will only get you whiplash in the long run.
You have to be open to the possibility that Not Everyone is an asshole. Not saying everyone is a saint but if every time someone approaches you, they get a waiting to exhale vibe that shit ain’t gonna fly.
You have to know how to recognize the difference between a boy and a man. A man pays bills, takes care of home first, shows respect and understands the value of commitment. A boy runs up bills, comes home only to sleep and eat, talks out the side of his neck and is only seriously committed to his dick and his mama.
You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good, you shouldn’t need extensive breathers from whomever you’re dating because they are too negative or annoying. Your relationship should not make you want to break shit. Especially not your own shit.
You have to have a Mental and a Physical attraction, neither one can stand alone and be sufficient. I have tried it both ways and it fell short. If I cant talk to you and only want to sleep with you what is the use in that. If I can talk to you but cringe when you touch me, that’s no fuckin good either.
You have to take time & enjoy the process. It’s dating not rocket science and if you aren’t having fun, why bother?
It’s not about money and it’s not about cars or clothes and in truth, its not even about size (Shocking isn’t it).
It’s about finding someone you are comfortable with, who you can talk to and it’s about magic…
Not that Criss Angel Mind freak shit… (Though it is about mind-sex alil.)
It’s about magic and Yes, I do believe in magic.
That excitement when you meet someone, that tingle when you like them and the long term magic of finding someone who doesn’t annoy the shit out of you, who you actually might consider committing to for an extended period of time.
Like that shit, that growing old, turning gray, holding hands, while rocking on a porch type shit. That shit is magic. Cuz 50% of the people who aim for that shit bail out and get divorces. So if you can do that, have that and nurture it, that’s magic.
I guess I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. And deep down, through all the bullshit I think the fact that I’m able to keep that hope and nurture it…. Well that shit is magic too.
~ Netta (Seeking peace and pursuing it daily)
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