The Good, the Bad & the Semi-Literate

Yeah. I took a hiatus. I ain't gonna lie. 1st off, with the blizzarding of the DC metropolitan area, I ain't gone nowhere and I definitely ain't did shit. The Lsats were on the 5th and got "snowed out". I took that as a sign from God and postponed that shit until October. The next one was in June but it was on a Monday and that shit ain't the business. On a personal note, I am leavin DC. I'm headin off to New Jersey to live with pops. I'll be working in New York... This is bound to lead to more interesting stories. Not DC centric stories, but definitely stories. Like that last time in New York, New Years Eve.... Some people invited us into a limo. God knows where that could have led. I anticipate many interesting NY stories. Imagine.... Two Trannie hookers and a coke binge at the Bronx zoo. It could happen. With all the snow, I ended up slamming out the screenplay that I was working on with a friend. Done and done. I'm looking forward to future col...

Let's start off with Wednesday since that is really where the story begins. I was leaving work and I see this woman in all black standing outside, replete with a lunch and work bag, videotaping people and yelling things. Crazy-people things. About terrorism and wires and how somebody killed her mother. I couldn't stop watching. So, I'm hiding in the FedEx, giggling and watching and dying laughing. I head back to my office to grab my shit and leave when I hear her yelling again... So I turn the corner and there she is. Yelling at this white guy about how she should be happy that he is getting his 15 minutes of fame and that he is going to be arrested. Then she video tapes me and tells me to tell "them" how I murdered her mother. The white guys interest was apparently piqued so he asks her why he is going to get arrested and for her to tell him more. She crosses the street and he follows. And follows and follows. At this point, he is chasing her around cars. She s...

So, the house fucking flooded again.. Just like when we first moved in, cept this time someone decided to rip up the whole fucking carpet. Yesterday, I went to bed at 2 am... and woke up to yells from my Roomie at 6am. The entire floor was saturated. It was very uncool. Very uncool. So's I said "Fuck it" and went back to sleep. Went to work in the morning and was still blah. Got home and checked on the plans for the evening. "Oh So Sexy" It is amazing how, the longer you know someone, the better the business gets. Mind boggling. He makes me say ignant ass shit... I feel like this shit: Honestly, had it not been for tha business that got served til 4am... Today would have been completely unbearable. So amazing that I am scheming on having him move here so that he can violate me on a regular basis. At least once a week. There's always tomorrow. Yummy. "Nickels for my thoughts, Dimes in my bed, Quarters of the kush shape the lines in my head, take my vers...

So, while in the talks for monogamy, this open relationship shit keeps coming up. Let me say this: stating that you are being monogamous because you love someone and want to protect that love is a crock of shit. Cuz if you "Love" someone, you would want them to be happy and honestly, sometimes, for someone to be happy, they need to fuck other people.... One of my personal faves, Oh So Sexy , just got out of a relationship type thing... But while in this relationship type thing, he and I still pursued carnal pleasure for one main reason : the girl was nice but she wasn't bringin it in the bedroom... And you can be the nicest bitch in the world but if you can't clench yo pussy muscles...He just might stray. And honestly I'm glad they broke up,, cuz that guilt was puttin a damper on "that work".... Damn Catholicism But we got engrossed in a conversation about what you can do when your mate aint bringin it in the bed but you still want to stay monogamous: ...

Tuesday afternoon, I could not have felt more Charlie Brown. I had this plan about how I was going to go home before I picked him up... Get my car, Get SUPER CUTE and then whisk him away. Everytime I tried to leave work... No Go. Something else popped up. His bus got in at 7:30 and I left work at 7:10. So I get to Chinatown and am trying to find the Megabus stop... Which I can't. We finally connect via text and he says he is inside the Starbucks. So I walk over and look in the window and lo and behold, there sits my Prince. Big cornball ass smiles, one of those long lingering hugs and an assessment of his hunger level and we are off, hand in hand, headed to Mai Thai, with me explaining the whole time how I had planned to get cute and all.... Food at Mai Thai was ok. Convo was on point. Flirtatious glance across the table were great. Snap up a cab after dinner and go home to some wine and relaxation. I am not going to talk about the bizness... cuz it ain't none yall business... ...

I have been trying to get all the events of the last two weeks in order in my head. My bathroom is once again broken and I am home awaiting the Roto-Rooter. No tub, toilet or sink. So I decided that I should stop being a lazy cunt and write some shit down. I've been wandering the world attached at the hip to my BlackBerry and taking full advantage of BlackBerry Messaging. I am indulging in a heavy interest/flirtation through BlackBerry Messenger and He is coming tomorrow to visit. I am ecstatic. Recently there has been alot of tossing around of the "M" word. We have entered into preliminary talks about "Monogamy". Not a relationship.... Just Monogamy. The odd thing is that I just got engrossed in a convo tonight that revolved around the topic of Monogamy and the conclusion that I came to was thus: It is cock blocking. Socially justified and sanctioned but cock blocking none the less. The sad thing is: I would give up other penis for Him. He is special. To me......

Sometimes shit don't work out. Things seem to be goin straight and then shit just goes off track. It be like that sometimes. Thus is the drama that is humanity. And after dating for about 10 years, I have some surefire things to take my mind off of my disappointments: Plan A The current Plan A is actually Plan A version 2. Version 1 (which my Hampton peeps can attest to) was "that nigga Kobe". Kobe lives in B-more and had it not been for rising gas prices, he might still be Plan A . Plan A actually arose out of a necessity for me to (as I call it) "Knock feelings out of my uterus". Blame this theory on freshman year late night philosophizing. So, feelings get lodged in your uterus, and you can’t move on until they get knocked out. Kobe has taken me through quite a bit of heartache and every time I left, I felt refreshed. That is now Plan A version 2.0's job. The funny thing about Plan A (as he recently reminded me) is that we had hiccups in the b...

I am alil soft right now. It's cool. I think I like somebody. I do not think I will talk about him very often. cuz I like him. And the more I like someone, the less I blog about them. My head is all in Math right now. Middle school is where I started taking algebra. I actually thought that my public school education was okay, but now I am seeing that I don't know what a coefficient is. I am unsure as to how I ever graduated high chool. This is making Gre studying very difficult. Anyway, mathematically my equation of "Like" looks alil something like this: There is an inverse correlation between how much I like someone and how often I mention them in my blog. I like being in "Like". and this "Like" feels comfy and not at all "Supercool". "Supercool" is what I dub people who are "too cool" to be silly, or have fun. These are normally the people in the corner, talking shit about how "lame" everyone else is, when ...

I've said it before and I'll say it again.... When it rains dick, it pours. Motherfuckin monsoon season... There are drought times and surplus times. Good dick, bad dick... Shit, I'm just glad to have options right about now. Yay holidays and Happy New Years to me... Oh So Sexy is back... And Catholicism is cockblocking... I swear, after all that we've been through, I think God straight has it out for us..... I text and ask: Are we still down for tonight? I get this text back: Yes & No.... I'm catholic and I need to take communion before Xmas. I didn't go to Church on Sunday so I have to take it on Thur. I can't sin (sex)before taking it. I can come thru and chill or we can fool around but I can't have sex til after xmas. So I'm down for whatever whenever you get back. I can still come thru tonite if U want though. I text back: So, no penetration.... Can you drink? Reply: Yeah... It's just the major sins, like sex and murder. I hit him back ...

Last night was supposed to be my “Last Hurrah”. I gotta get serious with my life. That means studying for Grad School, looking at condos and planning on findin a normal ass dude, settling down and makin some babies. (Dan says that shit is kinda like Jordan retiring). Shit, I gotta focus of what I need to do. I’ve stopped allowing my Ex to pretend that we are friends, as it served no purpose but to allow him to feel better about the situation . When I need him, he is never around. When I want him, he is never around. I got high friend standards and he ain’t meetin em. So why call it friendship when he only serves as a second tier acquaintance. I honestly don’t think he knows how to truly be someone’s friend. I gotta stop trickin off wit these young and nubile hoe ass dudes. They fun and shit but you can’t keep em. Plus, I think I wanna have some babies one day and these non-committal, “It’s all about me” kinda guys aren’t gonna cut it. Side note: I had a dream the other night that I was...

Imma tax that ass. Imma tax that ass. Yippeeee. Sex and candy baby. Sex and candy. I smile deeply cuz I know it'll be fantastic. And I just bought a 12 pack of them Magnum Twisters. AMEN for condoms. AMEN for that "Oh So Sexy man . Before it felt like this: Now I feel like bumpin this shit: Hopefully my new drawz will arrive first. Lowkey ass weekend. Friday night a new man friend invited me to the Wizards game. That was chill. After I did laundry. Got home and crashed. Next morning he called and invited me to his place for lunch. I love a man who can cook. Most guys I wind up meeting can only cook eggs. No good. No good. His place was super artistic. Nice shit. and apparently he owns 2 of everything. Call him "Mr. Me Too". 2 laptops. 2 flatscreens. 2 everything. Mirror on the ceiling. Yeah. Hilarity ensued. Went home and slept. Yeah. Lowkey. Went to Target. Booked the chick I been flirtin with for about 5 months. Yeah. It was a decent weekend.

This blog is going to be spotty. I will attempt to keep some modicum of continuity but there are some things that I am choosing to leave out and some things I just plain forgot. Fuck it. This is what went down from my perspective. I left work Friday. Got discombobulated on my way to the airport (probably from lack of sleep) and ended up on the wrong train. Once I finally got to the airport, my plane was sooo delayed. I finally got on the plane, passed out numerous times as we were stuck on the runway trying to get out of DCA and into LGA. Whatevs. Finally land and of course I'm already late. I go to this Taxi stand and am immediately warning me not to accept rides from illegal taxicabs. I take note and keep it moving. I call to check in with everyone and my new boycott word reared its head. "What are WE Doing?" This is why I was a Brownies dropout. I didn't even ride it out to get to Girl Scout status. I do not do GROUP shit well. Never have. This is why I didn...

Dear Period: Fuck you. I asked you for one thing. One fucking thing and you couldn't hold me down. Fuck you. You're dead to me.

The NY trip is coming up fast. Not quite sure where the night will take me, but here's what I do know: I have 1.5 beds.... Technically I have a bed and a possible.... (Yes, like a game of spades... I have one definite bed and one possible, just incase I need to get it in immediately and cannot wait til I get to the hotel.) I have set a goal that I plan on accomplish. Shit, he know the deal. We been waitin months... Damn that concierge for not bein open wit condoms. I gotta leave saturday night so, I gotta get in all the debauchin and shoppin before saturday night. My period is due any second PLEASE DEAR GOD HOLD MY PERIOD. MAKE IT LATE. SCARE IT INTO SHOCK OR MAKE THE TRAUMA FROM THAT ACCIDENT STALL THAT HOE. I don't want to lose it for forever. PREGNANCY aint where its at. But just hold it til sunday. PUHLEASE. Or even til saturday night. I cannot bear to wait til Thanksgiving to tap that. I gots oats to sow. And I'm tryin to sow the hell outta them junts This weekend. E...