New York Sensory Overload
This blog is going to be spotty. I will attempt to keep some modicum of continuity but there are some things that I am choosing to leave out and some things I just plain forgot. Fuck it. This is what went down from my perspective.
I left work Friday. Got discombobulated on my way to the airport (probably from lack of sleep) and ended up on the wrong train. Once I finally got to the airport, my plane was sooo delayed. I finally got on the plane, passed out numerous times as we were stuck on the runway trying to get out of DCA and into LGA. Whatevs.
Finally land and of course I'm already late. I go to this Taxi stand and am immediately warning me not to accept rides from illegal taxicabs. I take note and keep it moving. I call to check in with everyone and my new boycott word reared its head.
"What are WE Doing?"
This is why I was a Brownies dropout. I didn't even ride it out to get to Girl Scout status. I do not do GROUP shit well. Never have. This is why I didn't pledge. This is also why, when confronted with large group projects, I managed to either work my way into a solo junt or maneuver my group into a subset of the main group, effectively taking a 4 person project and makin it a two person project. I am ADD like. I enjoy wandering and sometimes where I want to wander ain’t where you want to wander and vice-versa. Especially in a club atmosphere. I cannot hunt penis in a group. It fucks up my steelo.
There is no “I” in “We”. There also is no “Me” in “We”. Also, there is no Dick in “We”. (sadface)
I said it before and I'll say it again:
I inform all that “We” ain't doin shit and that I am headed to the Hotel. Once I get to the hotel, I will shower, and meet them at the party.
Get to the Hotel, snatch a key from the front desk and go shower and change. Head right back downstairs and go to the party.
Once I get there, I smoke a cigarette and get my bearings. Now this party did ALOT. I get inside and get a drink (literally 1 of 3 that I had the whole evening.) I look around to peep the object of my lust. Once peeped I kept it moving. I wanted to know he was there but I wasn't pressed to run into him quite yet. We finally catch up and it goes alil something like this:
“Oh So Sexy”: When did you get here?
Me: Bout a half hour ago.
“Oh So Sexy”: So what's up?
Me: I mean, whatever happens happens. We ain’t really got a bed. It's like maybe this shit ain't supposed to go down cuz we stay gettin blocked at every turn.
“Oh So Sexy”: You don't want it to go down?
Me: Oh, I most definitely want it to go down, but it just should never be this hard to Get it in, Naw mean?
“Oh So Sexy”: Well, we can always wait.
Me: I mean is it urgent, cuz there's always Thanksgiving.
“Oh So Sexy”: No, Its not urgent, but if we can....
Me: I feel you. We'll see how it goes down. Text me later. I’ll be up all night.
“Oh So Sexy”: Alright. Imma do that.
Me: And Stop eye fuckin the shit outta me. DAMN!
Side note: There is only one person in the world who I’ve wanted to fuck that I was never able to. He was a Devout Muslim at my high school. I swore up and down that I would convert, wait, quit smoking and drinking... I was lying. And I never got to tap that.
I likes to get what I want and when I see what I want, I choose. End of story.
So Imma tap this. Imma tap this before the end of 08. I could meet my soul mate tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to settle down, cuz shit wouldn't be right unless I'd hit that. It really wouldn't.
Dan is serving drinks, Kennda is chillin and Ashley is as well. Somewhere in here a random ass dude named "Raymond" got some idea that because he lived in PG and I stay in DC, we totally needed to get up. Raymond was not my type. But beyond that Raymond came on WAYYYYY Too strong and he was in my fuckin personal space. Also, I'm an elitest bitch. I am not a fan of PG county or really any area outside of NW so to trek to the boonies for something as unsexy as Raymond just was not goin down.
More Pandemonium occurred, the party ended, people kept yelling and my head hurt. And once again, my least fave word in the world popped its sorry ass up again "What are WE Doing?".... Ummm going to the after party?
It takes us about forever but we finally get it together and then we try and get a cab. Dan has to fall back, cuz cabs don't seem to like him much.
Finally we get one and Dan asks the cab driver, "Ummm, I have a question. Like cabs don't seem to like me. Like, personally, If I had my dick out, would you stop? No really. I'm just wondering. Like would you? If my dick was just out?".
This was possibly the best shit I heard all night. ALL NIGHT. And the answer apparently was No.
So we get to this after party and we are waiting on Liquor and such to arrive. I’m tired but not that tired and I have a plan and my plan involves some freak shit. 1.5 beds... Not so much so. See, I got a hotel room. It has 2 double beds. 3 people are intending on being unconscious in this room. So that, not an option.
Next time – Room for 1, California King. So I can smash in every way humanly possible, roll over 5 times and still be on the bed.
People keep on askin me when “We” are leaving and what “We” are doing. I know that “We” ain't doin a damn thing. Dan and Ashley fell asleep and everyone looked exhausted so at this point. “I” am trying to shove everyone in a cab, get my freak on and then take my ass to bed. I finally get everyone on their way and at this point, Me and that which is "Oh So Sexy" are waiting out this one "Young One": who has decided that he thinks Im cute and interesting and I realize that he is probably trying to wait out “Oh So Sexy” his damn self.
My thought process is this: “Young One” is cute. Funny. We have common enough interests. “Young One” lives in South East DC.
“Oh So Sexy is imported ass that I have been scheming on since September. This is the same dude with which I learned the valuable lesson : The Concierge ain’t open at 5am on a Saturday. And even if he was, there is still no guarantee that he has condoms.
I can tap “Young One” any time I fucking feel like it (if i so desire). He is local dick. “Oh So Sexy requires a plane trip, and a hotel. So I decide that Imma deebo this situation and get “Young One” to go to bed.
"Young One": I need a candle or something… I'm not tired
Me : Go to sleep
"Young One": Where? There ain’t no where to sleep.
Me : You better scoot yo ass between them two dudes, or put two fuckin cushions together or something. But I know in the next 5 minutes yo ass better be asleep.
"Young One": I hate you.
Me : Shit. Sleep now. Hate me tomorrow.
Mission accomplished.
Time to get it. At this point it is 5:24 in the fucking morning. Exactly. Cuz “Young One” texted me “Don’t let the bed bugs bite. They’ll give you Malaria.”
I start to lead “Oh So Sexy” to a secluded area. Right before we go through the door, I turn to him and say “Grab a condom.”
“Oh So Sexy”: I thought you had the condoms.
Me: SONOVABITCH! They are in my wallet, in my purse at the hotel. I thought you brought some.
“Oh So Sexy”: I did. They’re in my bag back at my homies crib.
Me: FUCK!
Let me pause for a moment to say this: Fuck you. Fuck all 154 of you who read "I hope my period is late". I say this for the following reasons.
I could work around the lack of bed. SHIT! Imma G. I can even work around a motherfuckin period… But I CANNOT work around no condom. I cannot.
Lessons have been learned from this. Sunday night I went home and put a condom in every purse, clutch, overnight bag, Satchel, & wristlet that my ass owns. Soooo pissed. Fuck it. There’s always Thanksgiving.
I roll out at 6:30. Wander, in a downpour to the Main street so I can catch a cab. One of those Illegal cabs stops.
He says “Do you need a ride?”
I recall all of the dire warnings about not taking these cabs so I go “Are you gonna rape and kill me?”
He says “No.”
I say “Good enough for me. I got 12 dollars and I need to go to the Belvedere Hotel.”
He says “Um I don’t think so.”
So apparently I need a Yellow Cab. Fuck it. I run into Dave but that was confounding so I finally hail a fucking cab. All the chaos and loud havoc of the night before fell away. It was wonderful. Like the calm after the storm. Moments like that are my favorite. When you can quietly reflect on what just went down.
It was Perfect.
I get to the hotel… Get another key from the front desk and go upstairs. Change out of the dress and the shoes. Slip into Jeans, a Mutagenics tee and my happy bear hat.
Dave is rollin up to the hotel to crash. We recap our evenings and he tells me that Dan’s car got towed. So off Dan and I go…. To the Impound lot at 7:30 am to get the car.
Dan and Jeanetta go to the Impound lot (A Pictorial Journey.)
DVDS & Lingerie? Open 24/7? You don't say!
Dan poses for the camera.
IMPOUND!
They take all forms of dough
It looked like one of those "Gone in 60 seconds" garages. It was Bananas.
We get the car. That motherfucker got towed and ticketed. Apparently NYC don't fuck around. We check out and end up in NoHO. yup... No. Hoe. I giggle.
NO! HOE!
DOO DOO?
This is a purty bridge.
All in all, a decent time. I hit sensory overload somewhere in there. Got back home at 1am Saturday after running on about 4 hours of sleep for 48 hours. Then I slept for 12 hrs straight and woke up and did retail therapy. I needed to unwind so I turned off my phone and bought aromatherapy smell-good. I ended up with 2 souvenirs from my NY trip.
Ill gotten remote from the hotel that I found in my bag on the way home.
Happy NYC Bear
I got a rain check from “Oh So Sexy” for Thanksgiving. Should go smooth. I got a bed, and condoms and no one around. Gonna get it in. I am happy to be back at work, where sobriety is a requirement, cuz I’m tired of being drunk and I am very tired of talking to drunk people. I am onward to study and be Lowkey. Yay!
I left work Friday. Got discombobulated on my way to the airport (probably from lack of sleep) and ended up on the wrong train. Once I finally got to the airport, my plane was sooo delayed. I finally got on the plane, passed out numerous times as we were stuck on the runway trying to get out of DCA and into LGA. Whatevs.
Finally land and of course I'm already late. I go to this Taxi stand and am immediately warning me not to accept rides from illegal taxicabs. I take note and keep it moving. I call to check in with everyone and my new boycott word reared its head.
"What are WE Doing?"
This is why I was a Brownies dropout. I didn't even ride it out to get to Girl Scout status. I do not do GROUP shit well. Never have. This is why I didn't pledge. This is also why, when confronted with large group projects, I managed to either work my way into a solo junt or maneuver my group into a subset of the main group, effectively taking a 4 person project and makin it a two person project. I am ADD like. I enjoy wandering and sometimes where I want to wander ain’t where you want to wander and vice-versa. Especially in a club atmosphere. I cannot hunt penis in a group. It fucks up my steelo.
There is no “I” in “We”. There also is no “Me” in “We”. Also, there is no Dick in “We”. (sadface)
I said it before and I'll say it again:
No preemptive “Weing”….
Yeah. We. Us. Our… No, no, no. There is no motherfuckin we. No us. Our nothing. There’s you…… and then there’s me. No you and me… no no no. You……. And me….. don’t forget the pause.
I inform all that “We” ain't doin shit and that I am headed to the Hotel. Once I get to the hotel, I will shower, and meet them at the party.
Get to the Hotel, snatch a key from the front desk and go shower and change. Head right back downstairs and go to the party.
Once I get there, I smoke a cigarette and get my bearings. Now this party did ALOT. I get inside and get a drink (literally 1 of 3 that I had the whole evening.) I look around to peep the object of my lust. Once peeped I kept it moving. I wanted to know he was there but I wasn't pressed to run into him quite yet. We finally catch up and it goes alil something like this:
“Oh So Sexy”: When did you get here?
Me: Bout a half hour ago.
“Oh So Sexy”: So what's up?
Me: I mean, whatever happens happens. We ain’t really got a bed. It's like maybe this shit ain't supposed to go down cuz we stay gettin blocked at every turn.
“Oh So Sexy”: You don't want it to go down?
Me: Oh, I most definitely want it to go down, but it just should never be this hard to Get it in, Naw mean?
“Oh So Sexy”: Well, we can always wait.
Me: I mean is it urgent, cuz there's always Thanksgiving.
“Oh So Sexy”: No, Its not urgent, but if we can....
Me: I feel you. We'll see how it goes down. Text me later. I’ll be up all night.
“Oh So Sexy”: Alright. Imma do that.
Me: And Stop eye fuckin the shit outta me. DAMN!
Side note: There is only one person in the world who I’ve wanted to fuck that I was never able to. He was a Devout Muslim at my high school. I swore up and down that I would convert, wait, quit smoking and drinking... I was lying. And I never got to tap that.
I likes to get what I want and when I see what I want, I choose. End of story.
So Imma tap this. Imma tap this before the end of 08. I could meet my soul mate tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to settle down, cuz shit wouldn't be right unless I'd hit that. It really wouldn't.
Dan is serving drinks, Kennda is chillin and Ashley is as well. Somewhere in here a random ass dude named "Raymond" got some idea that because he lived in PG and I stay in DC, we totally needed to get up. Raymond was not my type. But beyond that Raymond came on WAYYYYY Too strong and he was in my fuckin personal space. Also, I'm an elitest bitch. I am not a fan of PG county or really any area outside of NW so to trek to the boonies for something as unsexy as Raymond just was not goin down.
More Pandemonium occurred, the party ended, people kept yelling and my head hurt. And once again, my least fave word in the world popped its sorry ass up again "What are WE Doing?".... Ummm going to the after party?
It takes us about forever but we finally get it together and then we try and get a cab. Dan has to fall back, cuz cabs don't seem to like him much.
Finally we get one and Dan asks the cab driver, "Ummm, I have a question. Like cabs don't seem to like me. Like, personally, If I had my dick out, would you stop? No really. I'm just wondering. Like would you? If my dick was just out?".
This was possibly the best shit I heard all night. ALL NIGHT. And the answer apparently was No.
So we get to this after party and we are waiting on Liquor and such to arrive. I’m tired but not that tired and I have a plan and my plan involves some freak shit. 1.5 beds... Not so much so. See, I got a hotel room. It has 2 double beds. 3 people are intending on being unconscious in this room. So that, not an option.
Next time – Room for 1, California King. So I can smash in every way humanly possible, roll over 5 times and still be on the bed.
People keep on askin me when “We” are leaving and what “We” are doing. I know that “We” ain't doin a damn thing. Dan and Ashley fell asleep and everyone looked exhausted so at this point. “I” am trying to shove everyone in a cab, get my freak on and then take my ass to bed. I finally get everyone on their way and at this point, Me and that which is "Oh So Sexy" are waiting out this one "Young One": who has decided that he thinks Im cute and interesting and I realize that he is probably trying to wait out “Oh So Sexy” his damn self.
My thought process is this: “Young One” is cute. Funny. We have common enough interests. “Young One” lives in South East DC.
“Oh So Sexy is imported ass that I have been scheming on since September. This is the same dude with which I learned the valuable lesson : The Concierge ain’t open at 5am on a Saturday. And even if he was, there is still no guarantee that he has condoms.
I can tap “Young One” any time I fucking feel like it (if i so desire). He is local dick. “Oh So Sexy requires a plane trip, and a hotel. So I decide that Imma deebo this situation and get “Young One” to go to bed.
"Young One": I need a candle or something… I'm not tired
Me : Go to sleep
"Young One": Where? There ain’t no where to sleep.
Me : You better scoot yo ass between them two dudes, or put two fuckin cushions together or something. But I know in the next 5 minutes yo ass better be asleep.
"Young One": I hate you.
Me : Shit. Sleep now. Hate me tomorrow.
Mission accomplished.
Time to get it. At this point it is 5:24 in the fucking morning. Exactly. Cuz “Young One” texted me “Don’t let the bed bugs bite. They’ll give you Malaria.”
I start to lead “Oh So Sexy” to a secluded area. Right before we go through the door, I turn to him and say “Grab a condom.”
“Oh So Sexy”: I thought you had the condoms.
Me: SONOVABITCH! They are in my wallet, in my purse at the hotel. I thought you brought some.
“Oh So Sexy”: I did. They’re in my bag back at my homies crib.
Me: FUCK!
Let me pause for a moment to say this: Fuck you. Fuck all 154 of you who read "I hope my period is late". I say this for the following reasons.
- I do not believe that not one of yall prayed for my period to be late. My period came and as a result, I didn't. :(
- WHY OH WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT 1.5 BEDS WAS NOT A SOLID PLAN. NOT A SOLID PLAN.
I could work around the lack of bed. SHIT! Imma G. I can even work around a motherfuckin period… But I CANNOT work around no condom. I cannot.
Lessons have been learned from this. Sunday night I went home and put a condom in every purse, clutch, overnight bag, Satchel, & wristlet that my ass owns. Soooo pissed. Fuck it. There’s always Thanksgiving.
I roll out at 6:30. Wander, in a downpour to the Main street so I can catch a cab. One of those Illegal cabs stops.
He says “Do you need a ride?”
I recall all of the dire warnings about not taking these cabs so I go “Are you gonna rape and kill me?”
He says “No.”
I say “Good enough for me. I got 12 dollars and I need to go to the Belvedere Hotel.”
He says “Um I don’t think so.”
So apparently I need a Yellow Cab. Fuck it. I run into Dave but that was confounding so I finally hail a fucking cab. All the chaos and loud havoc of the night before fell away. It was wonderful. Like the calm after the storm. Moments like that are my favorite. When you can quietly reflect on what just went down.
It was Perfect.
I get to the hotel… Get another key from the front desk and go upstairs. Change out of the dress and the shoes. Slip into Jeans, a Mutagenics tee and my happy bear hat.
Dave is rollin up to the hotel to crash. We recap our evenings and he tells me that Dan’s car got towed. So off Dan and I go…. To the Impound lot at 7:30 am to get the car.
Dan and Jeanetta go to the Impound lot (A Pictorial Journey.)
DVDS & Lingerie? Open 24/7? You don't say!
Dan poses for the camera.
IMPOUND!
They take all forms of dough
It looked like one of those "Gone in 60 seconds" garages. It was Bananas.
We get the car. That motherfucker got towed and ticketed. Apparently NYC don't fuck around. We check out and end up in NoHO. yup... No. Hoe. I giggle.
NO! HOE!
DOO DOO?
This is a purty bridge.
All in all, a decent time. I hit sensory overload somewhere in there. Got back home at 1am Saturday after running on about 4 hours of sleep for 48 hours. Then I slept for 12 hrs straight and woke up and did retail therapy. I needed to unwind so I turned off my phone and bought aromatherapy smell-good. I ended up with 2 souvenirs from my NY trip.
Ill gotten remote from the hotel that I found in my bag on the way home.
Happy NYC Bear
I got a rain check from “Oh So Sexy” for Thanksgiving. Should go smooth. I got a bed, and condoms and no one around. Gonna get it in. I am happy to be back at work, where sobriety is a requirement, cuz I’m tired of being drunk and I am very tired of talking to drunk people. I am onward to study and be Lowkey. Yay!
Comments
by the way...you've been tagged! sorryyyyyy (see my last post and blame it on the one that posted above me!)
oh by the way you've been tagged!