Serendipity, 9 condoms, and My Last Hurrah!

Last night was supposed to be my “Last Hurrah”. I gotta get serious with my life. That means studying for Grad School, looking at condos and planning on findin a normal ass dude, settling down and makin some babies. (Dan says that shit is kinda like Jordan retiring). Shit, I gotta focus of what I need to do.

I’ve stopped allowing my Ex to pretend that we are friends, as it served no purpose but to allow him to feel better about the situation . When I need him, he is never around. When I want him, he is never around. I got high friend standards and he ain’t meetin em. So why call it friendship when he only serves as a second tier acquaintance. I honestly don’t think he knows how to truly be someone’s friend.

I gotta stop trickin off wit these young and nubile hoe ass dudes. They fun and shit but you can’t keep em. Plus, I think I wanna have some babies one day and these non-committal, “It’s all about me” kinda guys aren’t gonna cut it.

Side note: I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant and the baby came out premature. I looked at it, said "This junt is undercooked" and threw that shit in the trash. This is perhaps a sign of some kind but whatev.... cuz I also had that dream where goats kept bitin me and I had to sucker punch them til their heads fell off. Dreams are lame.

I had a severe conflict tonight. I was scheduled to go to Station 9. All hell bout to break loose. But I do it for the blog. My new friend guy (Mr. Me too) was supposed to show up, so was Angry, and my Future Ex Boyfriend ....Not to mention Oh So Sexy who I plan on leaving with that night.

Get a call mid afternoon. Tis Angry (who is this very sexy NY born and bred tatted out Puerto Rican)

Angry: where you at tonite?
Me: I got plans 4 tonite.
Angry: Oh! So what's his name?
Me: (thinking “OH SNAP!”) Huh? My homegirls in town (this is a true statement). I'm sposed to kick it. (Also true! Just not with her).
Angry: Well, Imma be at Station 9, Lux lounge and Layla. Come out.
Me: Why don't you cook me dinner on Monday?
He agrees and I promise to call him tomorrow. Crisis averted.

Ok. Freed myself up to fuck Oh So Sexy


Next I get a text from my Future Ex Boyfriend.

Future Ex Boyfriend: Where you at? (I'd actually planned on seein him Sunday which is why I pushed Angry off til Monday)
Me: Chillin what's up?
Future Ex Boyfriend: Headed home. Thinkin bout goin out tonight? What up with u?
Me:I might end up at Layla (I mean, it could happen, you know?)
Future Ex Boyfriend: Never been. How is it?
Me: st8.

Now at this point, I know that none of this is good. But I weathered worse before. That night at Olives was pretty fuckin bad but I made it..... And that was a much more hectic scenario. So fuck it.

I honestly was hopin for a warden-type reprieve at the last minute. Like a call Oh So Sexy sayin that He'd just meet me at my crib or a fire at Station 9 or something. No such luck. So end up at Station 9 tryin to anticipate how Imma Bill Bellamy this situation and come out squeaky clean.

Possible scenario running through my head: Be cordial to Angry, tell him the friend I was supposed 2 kick it with got sick or somethin, pray I don't see the Future Ex Boyfriend who I hopefully diverted to Layla instead, and leave before Mr. Me too arrives. Worst comes to worst, Imma straight play Oh So Sexy off as my cousin. I doubt he’d care.

How it actually went down:
Saw Mr. Me too. Hugged real quick and promised to call him tomorrow.

Called Angry, after he texted me. Turns out he had to punch out some dude in B-more who tried to rob him in an alley. Told him I’d call him tomorrow.

Pretty sure Future Ex Boyfriend: fell asleep.
Head home early like and after a whole lot of maneuvering, logistics etc. It all fell together as it should.

After all the bullshit, the running around, and fate faking.... It all came together. Cuz if it didn't work out this time, I was gonna give up. Shit. 3 tries and no success woulda let me know it just weren't meant to be. Honestly, I felt like Serendipity Fuckin owed us one at this point.

  • First off, I didn’t know that he was 25. I thought he was 23. That TOTALLY Fucked up My "Mrs. Robinson" vibe and also, My cougar in trainingness. But he said we could pretend that he was 22, but then I suggested 20.....
  • I like talking to him and I don't like lots of people. He’s got this funny sarcastic sense of humor that I really dig.

  • I AM SOOOO GLAD I BOUGHT THOSE CONDOMS….SAFE SEX BITCHES!!!!

    Cuz we went through 9 of them bitches. Serendipity owed us one.... We took 8 extra. I have never used that many condoms in one night ever.

  • Me thinks I would actually travel for that shit. Midwest, here I come!

  • Apparently I am not allowed to have a last Hurrah, because he expects to see me when he gets back in Dec.
    I told him “I don’t like getting used to shit and then it’s far away and I can’t get it when I want it”….
    Oh So Sexy “Two options: I could not live so far (not an option anytime soon), or you could “not get used to it”.”
    So I told him “I guess this is my last hurrah,”
    Oh So Sexy pulled me in for a kiss, “Do you want this to be your last Hurrah? I’m back in a couple of weeks.
    Me: I could be married by then!
    Oh So Sexy You gonna invite me?
    Me: Do you wanna be there? Just gonna drink up all my open bar and shit?
    Oh So Sexy Naw, but it’d be nice to be invited. Ill be back in a couple of weeks for winter break and there’s always spring break….


SIGH~

Yall motherfuckers might see me in Tha MotherFuckin Midwest… Cuz I could surely get used to that shit. I really, really could.
PS: IT WAS WELL WORTH THE WAIT.

Comments

..*..tlc..*.. said…
Damn! 9 condoms???
Unknown said…
**** 4 stars!
Amber-Alert said…
9 TIMESSS??!!! shit are u still recuperating?????

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