They say "Don't mess with Texas", but what about Texass?

I just got back from the dentist... always an exhilarating adventure. I started going there a year ago due to complications from malnutrition that developed due to an "eating problem" that I acquired right out of college. Apparently, if you don't supply your bodily organs with the nutrients that they need, they simply give up on you. We spent time together (me and my dental technician), where she scolded me for not flossing and I explained that I was preoccupied with numerous other things that made flossing irrelevant.

First off, I'd like to explain what this blog is not.... Apparently I am learning to sensor... Today was a not so good day.... which means that this blog was almost an
"Open letter to my Ex" until I realized that doing so would be the least effective way of expressing my feelings and that I should just call him instead. Most of the time I'd just keep it to myself but my shrink and the lessons on malnutrition that I learned from my "eating problem" have taught me that I have to say what I feel, even if I have to stumble alittle because I can't find the right words.

“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.” - Audrey Lorde


I think I've spent a lifetime avoiding saying what needed to be said and having people press their truth's upon me, without every really speaking my truth. Those times are changing, I guess, because I'm starting to realize that speaking my truth is the only way to free myself and tackle the things that overwhelm me.

I think there have been very few pieces of advice that have served me well in the aftermath of heartache and I'd like to share them....

  1. Dee said "The best way 2 get over somebody is to get under somebody else!"

    This solution has served me quite well in the past. And luckily i have my throwback, go-to guys, who never really went anywhere.... and received a slew of encourage texts RIGHT after I got dumped to let me know that I was always welcome to drop by, and for that I am grateful. 2 options are most appealing and both are out of state at the moment, which leaves me the flexibility that I am sure I need right now. Angry has popped back up and is still Angry as ever, but right now i am contemplating "Thickness" and Brooklyn aka Texass aka "The Best of Both Worlds".

  2. Jules gave me this advice - "I'll give you the advice my best friend gave me a few months back: don't get unfocused on yourself, and don't gain 40 pounds"

    Words of wisdom.... Words to live by.

  3. And Last but not Least Luke who reminded me of this scene in "Swingers":



And I guess that's where I'm at. I miss him. And I wish he missed me, too. The way we used to be, when we giggled and made up dumb shit and just hung out.

I'm waiting for it to stop hurting so that I can miss missing him, I guess. And it happens that way sometimes.

One day I woke up and told Charles never to call me again. He was a shitty boyfriend, and an even shittier friend. And in the end, after all those years, all we had left were all those years.

I was sad about Steve and then he asked me to sell crack for him, i met the Redskin, and that was the beginning of a whole new saga. So perhaps Sunday Ill wake up, refreshed from an encounter with southern hospitality and decide that i can shall and did do better. Cuz I guess the future is pretty bright and I cant wait til Saturday rolls around. Cuz who knows.... My next great fuck might be right around the corner.

Comments

Mrs. Mary Mack said…
Since I'm in Texas I feel like I have the "ovaries" to speak for the whole state when I say...not all Texass is good ass....the men here just tend to think that it is...

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