3 Month Sexual Trysts

I’m never dating again. Ever. Here's the deal. I did the math and anytime I start seeing someone exclusively… that shit hits the beginning of that 4th month and it all goes to hell. Either they stop trying or I get thoroughly annoyed or they ask me to sell crack for them (funny and surprisingly true). SO from now on, just to cut through the bullshit, I will no longer date. I will cap all exclusive endeavors at the beginning of that 4 month mark. That way I can remember shit on a high note. Whenever I meet someone, ill tell them this shit off top. I plan on always having a new one waiting in the wings, just in case what I’m doing goes sour. 3 months, shit, or less. If that shit gets outlandish….. Ill break out beforehand.

Everything happens for a distinct reason. When I met my now Ex… My main goal was to get published. Point blank. I fucks with blogging but id love to get paid to put pen to paper on the daily. So when I was kicking it with Hicks on Sunday and told him I had to bust out a blog, (namely Breakups, Throw up and the Most effective diet ever, which I think is some of the better shit that I have written as of late), He asked me if I was still doing that shit for free.

Me: Well, yeah….
Hicks: You know they have a site that pays you for that shit
Me: Yeah, I looked into that but they want you to write about certain shit, like products and stuff. I don’t want to have to blog about shampoo and cellphones….. Plus would I still be able to use words like Cunt?... I think not.

Anyway, I went about blogging and then Tuesday comes around and Chris read (I'm guessing) Smooshed (The Breakup Chronicles) and told me that I needed to write a memoir or something…. I always felt that my life was too random for any coherent, cohesive plot lines, which Is why I do little vignettes and Randoms (for when shit is just too random to call.) So I dismissed this.

And today, while doing research on “The Dating Application” that launched Tucker Max’s Career (because if I’m only hitting for 3 months at a time, I really want to be able to manage the process and an application seemed as good a way as any), I came across a several interesting facts.

1. They are making a movie of the book “I hope they serve beer in Hell”.
   
   
2. The dating application, tho hilarious, would not meet my needs.
   
   
3. Tucker Max has a Company that reps writers and creative types…. So perhaps, rather than trying to get published by the people who first published Tucker Max, I can get published by Tucker Max himself. That would be thoroughly awesome.
   
   
4. Lastly I realized that I could just post the link to Mindless Dating Questions Answered, refer all future possible 3monthers there and tell them that if they don’t think that I’m a total insufferable cunt, they should email me….

Ill be the first to admit that my blogs had become comprised almost wholly of Randoms while I was dating him, mostly due to the fact that if I am getting laid regularly, I don’t give a hot damn about your reading enjoyment. They had started to feel like work and were boring for me to write (which makes me sad, cuz if I didn’t enjoy writing them, who can I expect you to enjoy reading them.). But now that I remember what my goal was, and am refocused on it…. Perhaps I’ll get somewhere. Cuz even when I try not to write now, it comes out anyway.

Oh yeah, and if you think you might be interested in spending quality (or not so quality)time with me, feel free to read Mindless Dating Questions Answered, and if you don’t think that I’m a total insufferable cunt, feel free to email me.

and by the way.... I FEEL ALOT BETTER TODAY!