Smooshed (The Breakup Chronicles)

Lesson learned: After 9 years of dating, I still know absolutely nothing about men.

I would love to say that I have learned to pick someone who is gentle with my heart… not sure about that. My heart feels eternally smooooooshed. Like it got ran over by a big truck. And then backed over again. And I feel like, last time I gave up on dating, I felt much the same way. So I guess its back to square one. Cuz I don’t think I can manage to weather feeling like this again.

And the lessons of last Easter are all fairly relevant.

  • Forgiveness is a gift. It’s a gift for whomever you are forgiving but moreover it is a gift for yourself because until you forgive, you’re going stuck in the same fucked up mentality that whatever the other person did stuck you into in the first place.

  • If you are talking to your home girl for 2 hours about how you are OVER it…. You are blatantly not over it.

  • All women hate feeling discarded.


Honestly the entire post is relevant but these ring especially true to me today, right now.

Some days are better than others. Yesterday I was very happy. Today, not so much so.

I can’t quite manage to eat anything and have resigned myself to the “Nicole Ritchie” look and I know I’m getting sick because of it and that I should care enough to take care of myself, but I cannot muster the energy to do that right now. I’m not really sure where to go or what to do today. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Perhaps not.



My dad says breakups are like a death in the family. But they are worse, in a way. Cuz when people die, they didn’t have a choice to leave. Breakups are wholly about free will. The other person could be there. They are just choosing not to be. And as the 30 year old women put it on Easter. “All women hate feeling discarded”.

Here is a link to relationship shit that I wrote previously, as I am out of words for today.
Relationship whatever…


“I just want my friend back”

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