Showing posts from December, 2009

365.242199 days of kissing strangers

Man. Miss Amber was right. How you spend the New Year will determine and shape your entire year. Last year, I was drunk.

I tried to study and failed miserably. I kissed a stranger. I met a nice guy who drove me home. I went home alone. I did not get laid.

I spent my birthday drinking Mimosas, avoiding my phone, eating good food and resting.

This is how my entire year went. I tried to study. I kissed Strangers. Male and female. Single and married. I kissed folk (and shockingly didn't get Mono or Swine Flu).

At 26, I managed to never lose my Morals, My Shoes, My Panties or My Car. I am a tamer me. A much tamer Me. I didn't "almost get arrested". Not even once.

I learned to laugh this year. Deep, hearty laughter. Something I hadn't done genuinely in a very long time.

I worked on "Authenticity" this year. Making sure that my outsides matched my insides. No fake smiles. No happiness covering up shit. I was me, through and through. For better or worse, no matt…

Chartering Unicorns for personal transport.

Let us start at the beginning because that it the logical place to start.

I woke up Saturday and did my "Gettin my toes done" dance. It's a solid dance. It looked alittle like this:

Gettin my toes done. Gettin my toes done. Walk outside..... boppin to my car.

Walk toward my car and think, "Wow. Either my window is hella clean or I left that junt open" bop bop bop. Get to my car and see glass on the seat. Very very sad face.

Thieves managed to fuck up my window and thief my indash system, so ofcourse I did the 1st logical thing. I text my dad and my brother and say, "Car got broken into" and dad texts back "Are you ok?" to which I reply "That question makes no sense. I wasn't in the car. Wtf?".

So I call the car insurance people and they tell me that they cannot fix my window until Monday. This marks the first of several instances in which I wonder why the fuck I pay for car insurance. Stoopid car insurance.

I decide to do the only…