The Good, the Bad & the Semi-Literate

Miss yall.... :(

This song has been stuck in my head for a few days now. My entire block is going crazy.... No shootings tonight. Only thing getting shot is fireworks round this bitch. I actually didn't expect to see a black president in my lifetime. This is definitely the beginning of a new era. My dad said "I Can't FUCKIN Believe It?" I can in fact not. I am alil in shock. Very Happy. Very Shocked. Tomorrow should be a fuckin holiday. Happy Obama Day!!!

Megmeg and I went out last night and had a wonderfully intoxicated time. I am now VERYYYY dehydrated. I cannot go into detail about what occurred because my brain is sooooo fucked up at this point that it has gone on strike. My coworker asked me "What's up?" this morning.... My ingenious ass answer - "Good" He just looked at me and said "That's not an acceptable answer to that question. Like at all." Fuck it. I had a conversation about scat, Butt nakedness and auto-erotic asphyxiation. Drunk pictures abounded. Let me say this.... Do not let the drunk chick hold the camera. I got overwhelmed and tucked it into Megmegs boobs. Alot of groundwork got laid last night and at this point i just wanna curl up with my stuffed bunny and sleep off this hurt. I gave quite a few people who didnt need my number my number anyway. Well, it is what it is. Can't send Megmeg to ATL without having a properly fucked up evening... Rough night and I look like a drunk ...

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD DJ XKLUSIVES NEWEST MIX TOLD YOU I WAS STALKING HIM.... It is the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter in someones life. Meg Meg is evacuating DC. and thus we shall club for old times sake. Debauchery shall ensue... but in the meantime... Download the mix....

Today I made the decision Well technically it was yesterday… But anyway… I have been kicking around the idea of Law school/ Grad school for a few weeks now. I think I’d like to do both…. But a conversation on Friday where my boss said that I needed a better reason for going to school besides the fact that I fuckin feel like it, made me determined to continue my education just cuz I fuckin feel like it. I will attend both grad and law school for many of the same reasons I took my retarded ass to college. I went to college for numerous random ass reasons. I didn’t have shit else to do. People told me I wasn’t going to go to college and I love proving assholes wrong. College was really easy…. While at college I learned random shit. Like: How to argue down teachers. How to bullshit my way through life. Fool-proof excuses for lateness (i.e. Extremely detailed descriptions of diarrhea) Ok. Maybe not the same reasons.... But I refuse to have someone tell me that the only good reason to ...

My dad's blood pressure was up yesterday. He went to the doctor and they're tweaking his meds. He also has to go get his cholesterol checked today. Its nerve racking to think that something might happen to him. I don't know if ill ever be ready to lose him, but I know that i really am not ready right now. Roomie wasn't home and I needed someone to talk to. I called my brother and spoke with him. People act like I don't take things seriously, I joke around and I'm not prepared for shit, but my role in my family is the clear thinking one who is prepared for shit when it happens. I realize that, tho it pains me, my father will die. and if he doesn't have insurance to cover the balance of his mortgage, my brother will be homeless and will possibly end up living with me. So yesterday we talked over the sobering reality of what needed to be done. My brother can cover an electric bill and tho he may need help from time to time, He will at least be able to survive. ...

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is, there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love. 1 Corinthians:13 4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free. -Nikos Kazantzakis I will always love without reservation. I love like a dumb happy puppy loves their owner. And time and time again I have said this. Because i believe in love. Not that convenient love. Few things in this world worth having are merely convenient. I believe in that epic, to the ends of the earth, fight for what you believe in love. I'm a fighter, i guess. And i love hard. and with my whole heart. I must find s...

Lesson learned: After 9 years of dating, I still know absolutely nothing about men. I would love to say that I have learned to pick someone who is gentle with my heart… not sure about that. My heart feels eternally smooooooshed. Like it got ran over by a big truck. And then backed over again. And I feel like, last time I gave up on dating, I felt much the same way. So I guess its back to square one. Cuz I don’t think I can manage to weather feeling like this again. And the lessons of last Easter are all fairly relevant. Forgiveness is a gift. It’s a gift for whomever you are forgiving but moreover it is a gift for yourself because until you forgive, you’re going stuck in the same fucked up mentality that whatever the other person did stuck you into in the first place. If you are talking to your home girl for 2 hours about how you are OVER it…. You are blatantly not over it. All women hate feeling discarded. Honestly the entire post is relevant but these ring especially true to me today...

So I guess what it comes down to is this……. We all have coping mechanisms. Perhaps that guest shrink was right. We all use something. And I make jokes. About everything. Jokes about other people…. Jokes about myself…. But mostly about other people. Without much regard to how other people feel…. Cuz that’s how I’ve always dealt with everything. Doesn’t make it right, doesn’t make it okay…. But it most definitely is how I shake off the stuff that happens and has happened. Which just makes everything alittle less real. Got raped, make a joke. Several thousand dollars down the drain, shake that shit off. Tough times, fuck it. But I guess in the long run everybody gets hurt by it. It’s not that I’m purposefully mean but I am thoughtless. Most definitely careless. And inconsiderate. I think I need to take some time. Pause. Get alittle bit of quiet in my head. Cuz I’m an asshole and I have to contend with that. Also, I need to re-evaluate some things. So my phone is off. And my email is going...

Preface: Recent events have reminded me of what is important and what is not. I have recently been dubbed the “Party Girl”. This is not the life I want to live or the legacy I want to leave. Yet if I am out constantly, this is exactly what I am doing. Rather than surrounding myself with people who genuinely love and care for me, I have gotten sucked into this world of sycophancy. I grow weary of this scene and the falseness that intrinsically comes with it. My writing has taken a hit because my brain is so fucking addled with tequila, lack of sleep and bullshit he said, she said drama that all I can do is write “Randoms” . I was at “The Park” the other day and someone was asking me about my cross. I explained that my Aunt Mabel got me this cross a very long time ago and that I wear it because it reminds me of the people in my life who wanted better for me and that I should want better for myself as well. So, for those of you who know me and know what has been happening lately with my f...

Never thought I'd say this but..... Jon Famou$ grew on me..... Check it. "Fresh as a lemonade, cooler than an Altoid" yeah. thats hot.....

Don’t stalk Roomie. It makes you look crazy If you are looking for the Jon Famous, Tijuana stripper blog, just click this link. If you are stalkin Roomie, like a crackhead stalks a hit, read on…… I’d mentioned this previously cuz I am a huge fan of full disclosure, but I feel the need to mention it again since someone apparently feels the need to stalk Roomie via my blog…….. I liked it when stalking was old school. All old fashioned and shit, tapping motherfuckers phones, following them places and sittin outside they house in the morning. Internet stalking is soooooo juvenile. I can’t say I don’t ever do it. Shit, I just internet stalked someone yesterday and matter of fact, internet stalking boosts your internet search skills and that shit is a viable asset in the work force. I think I actually got a job by saying “If it’s on the internet, I will find it.” But you should be aware of the site that you’re on. I blatantly let everyone know that I have a hitcounter. It helps me do pseudo...

Preface: If you know a publisher or an agent, especially one with connections at Citadel Press...Please send them my way... So long as people will listen to anything, the proliferation of crappy ass music will continue unabated. (Kinda like : For evil to triumph it is enough only that good men do nothing). I spent my college years in Atlanta and I must say, a lot of crappy ass music came my way.... For instance: Gucci man “So Icy” - He literally says "My. Chain. Hangs. Down. To. My. DICK!!!!" with pauses in between each word for emphasis. Chamillionaire - please take a moment to listen to Ridin dirty. (I was with this song when it came out, as I myself was riding dirty.) Ummm, really the songs about police profiling. At the end, he pulls up at his girls crib....and states that he was not in fact ridin dirty.... BOOOOO!!! You suck chamillionaire! White tee - yup in my white tee, yup in my white tee!!!!! They don't rock a jersey, cuz they broke and dirty. Laffy Taffy - D...

Sorry ass 7-11 type dudes. I gotta pay homage to Craigslist on this one… Honestly I do. When in doubt, check out this post. If i had to choose between a Wawa and a 7-11.... Well, Wawa would win out 99.9% of the time. Seriously. Look at it like this: Wawa is clean,, with fairly sober attendants. They make you fresh sandwiches and hold you down in the A.M. 7-11 … Not so much so… 711 is dirty. It really is like that “transvestite hooker that does that thing you like”…. Sometimes men fit into this equation. Peep this: Wawa men are the keepers… you introduce them to moms, take them to church (ie. Out in public) and let people know that you know them… Other men are like 7-11s. 7-11 men are the men you won’t take out in public…. Like dirty lil secrets…… Even tho you know Wawa has them sandwiches and good hygiene… sometimes… at 2am, you still want them shitty ass 7-11 nachos…. True, they give you a stomach ache… but you crave em none the less. Then you eat em and regret it…like “Damn. Wish I h...

Gas prices are crazy. I mean really crazy. When gas was cheaper, traveling around to visit a "friend" was no big deal. You get in the car and just ride out. Now, it is necessary to be alittle more cost concious and weed out those who are geographically undesirable. Geographically undesirable is defined by urban dictionary.com as “Someone who you would like to date, but the fact that they live so darn far away is a problem.” I think its important to determine how far is too far. You have to know what your breaking point is. A simple geographical desirability equation (as defined by me) is: (Distance/Mpg your car receives) x Price of gas per gallon + time costs. Time costs are determined by finding out your hourly worth (according to your pay divided by length of pay period) and multiplying that by how long it takes you to get there. You also want to take into account the return trip. Let’s take Thickness for instance: She is downright geographically undesirable. She lives 2...

So, thing is, I am obsessed with tracking this site. Seriously. I got a great new hit counter. It's really amazing. Just a few thoughts.... To the 2am - 7am readers... Get some sleep. Shit. 4am is way too late to be up. I can see you. No, really. This thing is grabbin IP addresses. Quit reading my blog and take your ass back to work. Especially you government motherfuckers. (That's my tax dollars at work damn it.) I love how many of you are going directly to this shit without being redirected from myspace or facebook. Thats love right there. Foreigners.... YOU ROCK!!! I'm international in this bitch! Students. Stop reading and pay attention to the teacher. I see how many people come here a day. If you think or feel some shit about something I wrote, Please feel free to leave a comment. I LOVE COMMENTS. I love to hear what yall think about the stupidity that I come up with. Ummmm, I gotta go be productive now.... But have a nice day tho..... KISSES!!!

The level of blogging you get out of me all depends on what else I have going on. Really. It all depends. I like my blogs to be entertaining, well researched, edited and formatted. Sometimes I don’t have time for that shit, and you only get max 2 blogs a week. Lots of shit goes down in my life that prevents me from getting my write on, which if I could, I would do daily. For instance: Sometimes I get busy: This week has been hell. 11 hour days. The end of the month always sucks because: I am always behind on my timesheet and I suck at keeping track of my billable hours I have a minimum billable hour goal. I don’t know why. I’m not a fucking lawyer. Fuck it. End of the month closeout is fuckery Paying rent is depressing Every month they give me a new project. The due date for this project always fucking coincides with closeout. With all this going on, I’m lucky if I can remember to eat. Sometimes I get laid: And if I'm getting laid, I do not fucking care to write a damn thing. Also...

I learned a whole lot this Easter weekend. Some of it was from church. Some of it was from Podcast sermons (I need extra Jesus, because tho I look real innocent, I am not in fact a good girl. Shocking, I know. I need so much Jesus that just when I think I can put myself on good girl Jesus Auto pilot, next thing you know I’m almost arrested or entertaining some semi-legal and completely immoral proposition…..But that’s beside the point.) I also learned quite a few things from the two women who were drunk on Mimosas sitting across from me and my cousin as Sequoia’s for brunch. I will now dispense the shit I learned. Apparently if you give two 30-something women Mimosas and let them run loose, it is a little like watching an up close and personal “Waiting to Exhale”. Hiding shit from God is stupid… He already knows everything. And he already forgave you. I can walk into a church without immediately bursting into flames. I don’t like the Hymn part of church and when they skip the s...

This is a little more personal than the other shit I normally write. It’s probably not funny. It’s not supposed to be. But it’s about the realest 20 minutes I ever lived. So here it goes. So I get this call, saying immune systems might not be up to par. Simultaneously as I am finding out that the object of my affection was putting his affection elsewhere last night, I’m hearing that I need to go get tested to make sure I’m not dying. Talk about a reality check. And I’m thinking…. Was it worth it? Was any of it worth it? Cuz I’m at this clinic, waiting for this test. Of all the things I’m trying to figure out: how many at risk motherfuckers have I been with…. That Playgirl Centerfold? The Pro Athlete? Were these sexy trophies bound to be the death of me? And I’m pondering one of my favorite quotes: "My memory is well filled with stale smoke left over from mistakes I made while hunting down secrets to rescue myself from waves of darkness" -excerpt from Gordon Parks Poem ...

"30 Rock" (2006) {Pilot (#1.1)} Tracy Jordan: You know how pissed off I was when U.S. Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack - I'm straight-up mentally ill! "Boondocks, The" (2005) {The Itis (#1.10)} Riley: [after eating The Luther] Whoa. This is what crack must feel like. "Chappelle's Show" (2003) – A varitable cornucopia of Crack jokes Tyrone Biggums: Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. Tyrone Biggums: ...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack. Tyrone Biggums: [hands full of money] Crack, here I come. AND MY FAVORITE Tyrone Biggums: Why do you think I carjacked you, Rhonda? Rhonda: 'Cause the cops found you in it three hours later asleep, high on crack! Tyrone Biggums: That's impossible, Rhonda. How can you sleep when you're high on crack? Chinese riddle for you. "Cold Case” (2006) {The River (#3.22)} Ni...