Sobering realizations.

My dad's blood pressure was up yesterday. He went to the doctor and they're tweaking his meds. He also has to go get his cholesterol checked today. Its nerve racking to think that something might happen to him. I don't know if ill ever be ready to lose him, but I know that i really am not ready right now.

Roomie wasn't home and I needed someone to talk to. I called my brother and spoke with him. People act like I don't take things seriously, I joke around and I'm not prepared for shit, but my role in my family is the clear thinking one who is prepared for shit when it happens. I realize that, tho it pains me, my father will die. and if he doesn't have insurance to cover the balance of his mortgage, my brother will be homeless and will possibly end up living with me. So yesterday we talked over the sobering reality of what needed to be done. My brother can cover an electric bill and tho he may need help from time to time, He will at least be able to survive.

I'm the youngest, and I love my brother to death but he isn't the greatest at responsibility. I guess yesterday was just tough. dealing with things that i hadn't anticipated needing to deal with just yet. My father is calling the insurance people today, so that we can be thoroughly prepared for the unpleasant yet inevitable.

I wanna thank all the people who checked up on me and lent me an ear. It is much appreciated. Yesterday was just alil rough on me.

Comments

Mrs. Mary Mack said…
Although we don't know each other, I can understand where you're living "head wise" right now. My Dad has been sick for a LONG time now, and every illness puts me back into this place. I hope that everything gets better.
10/9/08 9:35 AM
Don said…
I can relate to this post, kinda the approach I've taken with my sister who lives in a different city - kinda hate to think this particular way, but it's real and never personal.
8/10/08 1:09 PM
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