Sobering realizations.

My dad's blood pressure was up yesterday. He went to the doctor and they're tweaking his meds. He also has to go get his cholesterol checked today. Its nerve racking to think that something might happen to him. I don't know if ill ever be ready to lose him, but I know that i really am not ready right now.

Roomie wasn't home and I needed someone to talk to. I called my brother and spoke with him. People act like I don't take things seriously, I joke around and I'm not prepared for shit, but my role in my family is the clear thinking one who is prepared for shit when it happens. I realize that, tho it pains me, my father will die. and if he doesn't have insurance to cover the balance of his mortgage, my brother will be homeless and will possibly end up living with me. So yesterday we talked over the sobering reality of what needed to be done. My brother can cover an electric bill and tho he may need help from time to time, He will at least be able to survive.

I'm the youngest, and I love my brother to death but he isn't the greatest at responsibility. I guess yesterday was just tough. dealing with things that i hadn't anticipated needing to deal with just yet. My father is calling the insurance people today, so that we can be thoroughly prepared for the unpleasant yet inevitable.

I wanna thank all the people who checked up on me and lent me an ear. It is much appreciated. Yesterday was just alil rough on me.

Comments

Mrs. Mary Mack said…
Although we don't know each other, I can understand where you're living "head wise" right now. My Dad has been sick for a LONG time now, and every illness puts me back into this place. I hope that everything gets better.
10/9/08 9:35 AM
Don said…
I can relate to this post, kinda the approach I've taken with my sister who lives in a different city - kinda hate to think this particular way, but it's real and never personal.
8/10/08 1:09 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Recap with my Shrink and a Declaration of Singledom

I woke up this morning real sadlike. I woke up knowing that I would have to do something very difficult today. I was going to have to break up with my therapist.... Or at the very least stagger my appointments. See, my job changed my health care. The new shitty ass health care that they gave me is taken by virtually no one. Exhilarating. And right before xmas. Merry fucking xmas. I heart sanity and shit but I cannot afford to spend 2K a year to keep it. When I first walked into his office, I couldn't articulate what was wrong. I was upset but I couldn't say why. Nothing was wrong but Nothing was right either. I was extremely depressed. My gyno recommended that I take up jogging. Tip: When very depressed, do not attempt to jog as a remedy. It is impossible to jog while sobbing. (I speak from personal experience.) He took time. Never questioned me. Waited for me to learn to trust him and take down my guard. He never lectures and never judges. And He helped me immensely in ways t
Read more

Parisienne Mac and Cheese recipe

 When I was working in New York there was this place called "S'mac" and I really loved this fig, brie and rosemary mac and cheese. Yeah, I know. It sounds weird but it works.  Found a recipe online that was close so I modified it to get it closer and here it is. Some of y'all are gonna read this and go off about the sanctity of traditional mac and cheese. That's cool, I fuckin get it. If you don't want to try new shit, fine.  I recommend it but if you don't fuck with it, don't fuck wit it. I don't need a dissertation in the comments bout this shit so chill. Also, if you don't like cooking but want to try this anyway or any of the other mac and cheeses from S'mac, here is the goldbelly link. People seem to love the buffalo chicken too.  https://www.goldbelly.com/smac Parisienne Mac and Cheese  (modified from  https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1667881) Minutes to Prepare: 20 Minutes to Cook: 40 Number of Servings: 8
Read more

At least I still have my shoes.... (HU Homecoming Recap)

Image
I gotta start off with these lyrics.... They are SOOOO applicable. Trust. John Legend - Green Light So I went hard like Medusa staring at me I told her let's go, let's blow this lame nigga factory She said, What type of girl do you think I are The kind that you meet in a bar You think you can get whatever you want cause you some kinda star No I'm a comet I just want you woman Hey, If I were you then It would be me that I go home with 3, the one and only One thing you ain't considered I heard you when you told your girl "ooo he can get it" Admit it You did it Let's hop a cab and split it I'm kiddin We both going to where you livin Fuckin HU Homecoming Weekend. Wooooow. First off, we were running around like crazy. My dopamine was bananas. Seriously. I was so excited. Dan got the tickets midday and I started to tingle off break cuz I knew this had the potential to be the best night at LOVE, EVER!!!! And it was. Dan scoops me, and I am running late as alw
Read more