Hostile piss ain't nothin to fuck wit.

I woke up to a most uncomfortable sensation. Yep.... I had to go pee real bad and it was uncomfortable, to say the least..... My morning piss had become downright hostile.

No nothing crazy, just a UTI. But I did realize that this might be very inconvenient. I have things to do dammit!

So off to Urgent Care. Side note: I do not have a doctor. Primary care physician. I go to urgent care enough that they have all my records, manage to see me in under an hour (no appointment necessary) and the co pay is only 20 dollars. URGENT CARE FO LIFE!!!!

Anyway, Here is a list of UTI rules (for all those who don't know:

If you think you have a UTI:

1. Don't overindulge in spicy foods. (I drown everything in red pepper flakes.)
   
2. Don't abuse caffeine. (I actually have a caffeine minimum that if I don't hit required minimum, I get a migraine.)
   
3. Don’t have intercourse. (I’m not too smart. I think this was actually part of the reason I peed on that guy that time I peed on that guy that time.)
   
4. Don’t Drink soda. (When I am not trying to mainline caffeine with just coffee, I drink soda like its water)

The doc gave me antibiotics and told me I could drink whilst taking them (YAY!). I told him I’d hold off on takin them until it was absolutely necessary He told me I could get a kidney infection and that I would not pass go, I would not collect 200 dollars and I would die. This was unpleasant to hear so I told him I would take the pills asap.

Late for work, but hey, Ill be late for that.


Things that make you go Hmmmmm…….

• Buses are strange. Recent bus spottings:
  The Flamboyant gay guy pretending to fellate the bus pole while singing Lil Kim:
  

  "I used to be scared of the Dick, Now I throw lips to the shit, handle it like a real Bitch"

  
  Bravo to you, sir…. Or maam or whatev….
  
  To the extra masculine trannie on the bus with the workout shorts that crept up his ass, revealing that he was wearing a thong. I salute you sir.
  
  
• My coworker owns 2 terriers and swears they are reppin Oakland and have been gangster for life. Terriers are bitch dogs son! BITCH DOGS!
  
  
  Nothin gangster about that
  
  
• My other coworker who laments about always having to babysit everyone when they all go out. I told her to let go of that Momma shit and do her. There comes a time when you have to let your friends run free, and just trust that you raised them right and instilled in them all of the values necessary to keep themselves from getting arrested.
  
  I used to be the responsible one. Now my motto is “Why ask Why? Ask Why Not?”.
  Then Kennda was the responsible one…. Now none of us are responsible. We just have enough spurts of responsibility to keep us from getting arrested….and just in case shit gets dicey we try to plan out who we gonna call for bail money ahead of time...
  
  For example: The Dave and Busters adventure. All I retain are snippets. Um, High fived a drunk Santa. A homeless man gave me a dollar. The game we were playing was out of tickets and the guy came to reload it and did it wrong. Next thing you know it spit out like 1000 tickets, which I then draped around my next as Kennda twirled in a circle praising sweet baby Jesus and warning me not to get ganked for my tickets. That shit was nuts.
  
  
  
  Me and Phia and the Ticket Boa.
  
  
  
  Me too drunk to realized that I’m taking a photo with a photo of a woman taking a picture with a wax George Clooney. I’m actually lucky I made it home from NY at all. I came quite close to missing my train.
  
  Yay to spurts of responsibility. Yay to not getting arrested. Yay to us.