Crazy Camera Lady and the Sexcation (Pt. 1)

Let's start off with Wednesday since that is really where the story begins. I was leaving work and I see this woman in all black standing outside, replete with a lunch and work bag, videotaping people and yelling things. Crazy-people things. About terrorism and wires and how somebody killed her mother. I couldn't stop watching. So, I'm hiding in the FedEx, giggling and watching and dying laughing.

I head back to my office to grab my shit and leave when I hear her yelling again... So I turn the corner and there she is. Yelling at this white guy about how she should be happy that he is getting his 15 minutes of fame and that he is going to be arrested. Then she video tapes me and tells me to tell "them" how I murdered her mother. The white guys interest was apparently piqued so he asks her why he is going to get arrested and for her to tell him more. She crosses the street and he follows. And follows and follows. At this point, he is chasing her around cars. She starts screaming about rape and calling the cops and he keeps following.

I finally give up watching and head home to pack. Two random calls come through... Apparently penis can sense when vagina is leaving town. Two different bootycalls? Fail. I have no time for dick before my vacation that is designed specifically for the purpose of relaxing and getting dick... That, my friends, is crazy, reckless and downright greedy.

I wake up Thursday, bags packed and ready to go. Head out the door and guess who the fuck I see....



Crazy Lady wit the camera.

This time I needed a photo.

Ps. She still accuses me of murdering her mother and she very much dislikes having her photo taken.

I go to work and get my work on. Work work work... Worktastically, I might add.

I also manage to flush out an idea for "White Chicks 2" and a period piece/dance/action/drama....

I head out at 2pm and go to the airport. Now, I'm thinking I'll get to blog alil, maybe watch alil "Supernatural" (my new addiction...) No. fuck no.



My laptop battery is dead. It only works while plugged in and DCA is lackin in available comfortable outlets.

So I wait. Finally I get on the plane. US Airways to Phoenix. Let me just say this: US airways sucks hairy balls. The chairs are uncomfortable and it just plain sucks.

It occurs to me, right around touchdown that I have taken my vagina Bi-coastal...

Deboard in Phoenix, which is cool. Had to transfer from US Airways to American Airlines.... No problemo. It is 106 degrees in Phoenix. But at least its a dry heat.


Cactusesssss


Fat Bear in Phoenix!!!!

Sos I get on this bus and head over to American but apparently my flight is run by Alaska Air so I have to get on another bus. At this point, I am sure that I am trapped in Phoenix, til death.... But I run and I make it.

Note: Alaska Air, way more bitchin than US Airways... But after all this running, I needed 2 cocktails, so I get two cocktails.

When I make it to Portland, I realize that Portland is a different kinda place.



The toilet has instructions and even after reading it, I still flushed it the wrong way. I'm an ass.

I go outside and realize that Portland does shit alil differently.



This is a parking garage with all types of green shit growing off of it.

Get picked up at the airport and head off to the Hotel Monaco. Nice spot. In case you forget to come prepared, they even have a nice little intimacy kit.



Had a nice enjoyable evening. Woke up with alot of confusion. Time changes are tricky. Walked down the street and got myself some eggs.


Shrimp omelet with Kalamata Olives and Green Peppers, topped with Feta cheese

I felt very Rachel Ray this morning.

Then I went to Rite Aid and bought a bottle of lube and a bottle of wine... Odd choice perhaps but it is what it is.



Figured I'd knock out some writing before Oh So Sexy gets off of work. Tonight should be promising....