HOUSE RULES! (A must-read for visitors and guests)

Originally posted on 2.17.2007

HOUSE RULES! (A must-read for visitors and guests)

Okay, I love my place. It is small but its all mine. And because it is small and all mine, its time to set up ground rules.

1. CALL B4 YOU COME.
Otherwise you may be surprised to find that I:
A) dont answer the door when you knock...
B) Have other company, that would make your presence unwelcome & or unnecessary,
or
C) Cuss you tha fuck out.

2. Don't assume its cool to sleep over without an invite. Im busy and kicking you out in the A.M while still trying to be polite is a waste of my time.

3. Additionally, if you ask if it is cool to crash and i say that i have to be up early the next morning, Don't question me on it or call me on my bullshit. You and i both know what the fuck is up... Read between the lines...

4. For god's sake, leave your shoes on...

5. If you stink up my bathroom, light the candle.... there are spares in the 1st drawer and matches as well... your ass funk can't top essential oils....

6. Dont ask if you can change the channel on my TV. Fuck you. Go home.

7. If i kick you out, leave quickly. B4 i call the fucking cops.

8. Don't eye my shit.

9. Don't pick thru my shit. I'm private and i don't like it.

10. Mi casa sure as fuck aint su casa.... You don't pay rent here, I do. Recognize that. Don't piss me off....
THANKS 4 YOUR COOPERATION. ~MANAGEMENT

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