Weight loss tips...Short term use only....
Weight loss tips...Short term use only....
(The Charles Sagas 9.19.06)
This is a part of the Charles Sagas
(Dedicated to my ex. I told him "I'm going to write a fucking book about you and call it the Charles Sagas and be rich off calling you an asshole..." Well it's not a book and I'm not getting paid but its close enough.)
People periodically ask me "How do you lose weight?"
Step one is to count calories… its not rocket science. Expend more than you intake and you will lose weight. Simple math. But if that doesn't seem like something your into, I do have an alternative.
DATE A TRIFLIN MAN
No, seriously. This works every time and its free.
Date a shitty man. Date a man that lies and betrays you. date a man who is juvenile and self absorbed. Depending on how much you want to lose, this shit can be really effective. I would not, however, recommend dating them for over a year as studies have show that overuse can lead to severe liver and kidney damage.
Imagine the testimonials…… "I dated Charles and lost 30 pounds in 2 months. Dating him cut my cravings and my desire to live. Thanks Charles!"
When you date a really shitty man, its enough to make you sick to your stomach. I haven't had a decent appetite for at least 6 months….
And the benefits are ongoing, because a truly shitty man will always be around so if you need to drop a few pounds really quick, say for a reunion or a wedding or shit a much anticipated date with a non shitty man, you can always call up that guy that makes you want to vomit when he comes within 10 feet of you. He'll always be around and more than likely he'll be single…. Cause he's an asshole. Even if he isn't single, don't worry, he's an asshole and well experienced at multitasking. He can help you lose those extra pounds while attending to the weight loss needs of several women at once.
Trust me; this isn't a life change. Seriously, if you overuse this "aid", it will result in loss of life (more than likely either yours or his). But for short term use, I highly recommend it. Seriously, I have been dropping weight like a terminally ill patient….
(The Charles Sagas 9.19.06)
This is a part of the Charles Sagas
(Dedicated to my ex. I told him "I'm going to write a fucking book about you and call it the Charles Sagas and be rich off calling you an asshole..." Well it's not a book and I'm not getting paid but its close enough.)
People periodically ask me "How do you lose weight?"
Step one is to count calories… its not rocket science. Expend more than you intake and you will lose weight. Simple math. But if that doesn't seem like something your into, I do have an alternative.
DATE A TRIFLIN MAN
No, seriously. This works every time and its free.
Date a shitty man. Date a man that lies and betrays you. date a man who is juvenile and self absorbed. Depending on how much you want to lose, this shit can be really effective. I would not, however, recommend dating them for over a year as studies have show that overuse can lead to severe liver and kidney damage.
Imagine the testimonials…… "I dated Charles and lost 30 pounds in 2 months. Dating him cut my cravings and my desire to live. Thanks Charles!"
When you date a really shitty man, its enough to make you sick to your stomach. I haven't had a decent appetite for at least 6 months….
And the benefits are ongoing, because a truly shitty man will always be around so if you need to drop a few pounds really quick, say for a reunion or a wedding or shit a much anticipated date with a non shitty man, you can always call up that guy that makes you want to vomit when he comes within 10 feet of you. He'll always be around and more than likely he'll be single…. Cause he's an asshole. Even if he isn't single, don't worry, he's an asshole and well experienced at multitasking. He can help you lose those extra pounds while attending to the weight loss needs of several women at once.
Trust me; this isn't a life change. Seriously, if you overuse this "aid", it will result in loss of life (more than likely either yours or his). But for short term use, I highly recommend it. Seriously, I have been dropping weight like a terminally ill patient….
Comments
coffee.