The almost tingle.....

Originally posted on 4.17.2007

The almost tingle.....

I really think I’ve perfected the almost tingle.... See it starts...
I like someone; I get all goofy and shit. I contemplate dating.
Like actually raising my moratorium on dating and possibly going out of my way to interact with another fucking human being and then, next thing you know, tingle aborted.

Some BULLSHIT pops up or a "Carl Thomas situation" ensues and I am straight slam fucking over it.

Top 10 list of tingle killers

1. You say you’re “Kinda, sorta, not really in a relationship. I mean, its complicated tho….”
Its not really that complicated, you’re stupid and that’s bullshit… you gotta girl. Man tha fuck up.

2. You start buggin tha fuck out on my phone….
You will get labeled as straight up “No” with tha silent ring. Don’t get it twisted.

3. You drunk dial me…. See # 2

4. Everytime I talk to you, you just finished chiefin an O….
That shit makes you incomprehensible and wastes my time.

5. Overt Sexual overtures… Please, be a bit suave.

6. Man-handling me in public. Bitch, Do You Know Who Tha Fuck I Am?

7. Always trying to “Conversate with me”. That shit is not a word. Please stop

8. Picking on me/ bumping into me/ coming at me wrong…
We’re not in middle school anymore.
Step to me like a grown up or you wont even get considered in this bitch. 4 real.

9. Hate… Just don’t do it.
If you see me conversing with someone else, please don’t hover like you have stock in my pussy.
Damn. Let a bitch breath.

10. Please don’t think that your more important than you are.
Tingle or no tingle, I’ll drop your ass.
Ill disown family if I feel like it. Best believe your position in my life ain’t set in stone. BITCH,I run this shit.

This has been a public service announcement for the society for the eradication of Bitchery and the campaign to eliminate relationship induced insanity. Don’t Date, Save a life.

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