Shit that annoys me about the club scene/men on the club scene.
Originally posted on 6.7.2007
A little weary of the world today.
I keep having the same conversations with different people. All that changes is the face. Possibly the outfit, perhaps the hair….
Goddammit, if you see me glancing away or I start fidgeting with my nails, take the hint.
“IM BORED.” In addition to my boredom, My add has kicked in and I am desperately trying to stay conscious in the wake of this boredom. Also, in case you missed it – you are the cause of my boredom. You have managed to bore me.”
I like lists so I think ill make this into a list.
“Shit that annoys me about the club scene/men on the club scene.”
1. The 28-35 year old token “I’m so glad that I’ve outgrown this scene” speech.
If you have outgrown this scene, why the fuck are you here?
Additionally, though I get that this speech is supposed to differentiate you from everyone else, but seriously it’s very over used and I honestly don’t give a fuck about your maturation level. Almost as over used as the “sex for old times sake” line……
2. Drunken Witty banter, or not.
You perceive our conversation to be witty banter. I fucking disagree. You are entirely too drunk to be witty and I am entirely too sober to find you amusing…
3. The “I’m the only real motherfucker out here/I’m from the streets/I’m realer than real” speech.
None of theses arguments makes me want to give you pussy…. Not one of them.
Honestly I do not give a hot damn. Trying to validate your man-dom in front of me makes me the opposite of wet. I do not care how many people you can/have beat up.
I do not want to hear about your latest illegal adventure and I most certainly do not want to know if you have killed someone.
4. Philosophical drunks.
Can’t you just be drunk? Do you also have to attempt to be deep as well? You’re drunk. Waxing philosophical while drunk just makes you sound like an asshole.
5. Don’t sell past the close.
If you already got my number, just stop.
Walk away.
We can talk later. That’s why I gave you the number.
6. Dumb Compliments.
Examples from last night:
“You know you cute, girl”
“You’re making me promiscuous (WTF?)”
“You’re a conscious asshole. You’re purposeful in your asshole statements because you think fast and that shit is sexy.”
You should be ashamed. Go stand in the corner
7. Forgetting where you are.
We are in public.
Do not molest me.
No ass smacking.
Don’t lick me.
Just don’t.
8. Forgetting who you are.
This guy came up to me last night and conveniently reminded me that I’d once told him that I was going to give him some but that his actions bumped him out of the running.
He wanted to know if I would be receptive to his advances now.
I told him no. Why lie?
You almost got some pussy, then you acted like a dumbass, now you can’t even eat my ass. Yeah. I said it….:P
9. Emotional Prattle
I don’t give a damn if your ex broke your heart, If you’ve had trouble trusting women in the past, If you’ve been down on your luck, legal troubles, personal revelations….. Nope. Do not care. We are at the club, or in front of the club. I want to keep it light.
10. Sometimes it’s just talking.
When you see me speak to someone, hug someone, whatever, sometimes its just talking. Perhaps we are friends. Don’t assume. Talking to other people doesn’t mean that they are any more likely to get some than you are. You are both equally unlikely to hit. Just because you see me in a heated discussion, don’t mean there’s beef either. I’m passionate and shit. Its cool and its all love in the club.
Don’t throw stank looks or get huffy. Refer back to number 9. Or by all means go away. Your choice. Thanks for your time and attention.
A little weary of the world today.
I keep having the same conversations with different people. All that changes is the face. Possibly the outfit, perhaps the hair….
Goddammit, if you see me glancing away or I start fidgeting with my nails, take the hint.
“IM BORED.” In addition to my boredom, My add has kicked in and I am desperately trying to stay conscious in the wake of this boredom. Also, in case you missed it – you are the cause of my boredom. You have managed to bore me.”
I like lists so I think ill make this into a list.
“Shit that annoys me about the club scene/men on the club scene.”
1. The 28-35 year old token “I’m so glad that I’ve outgrown this scene” speech.
If you have outgrown this scene, why the fuck are you here?
Additionally, though I get that this speech is supposed to differentiate you from everyone else, but seriously it’s very over used and I honestly don’t give a fuck about your maturation level. Almost as over used as the “sex for old times sake” line……
2. Drunken Witty banter, or not.
You perceive our conversation to be witty banter. I fucking disagree. You are entirely too drunk to be witty and I am entirely too sober to find you amusing…
3. The “I’m the only real motherfucker out here/I’m from the streets/I’m realer than real” speech.
None of theses arguments makes me want to give you pussy…. Not one of them.
Honestly I do not give a hot damn. Trying to validate your man-dom in front of me makes me the opposite of wet. I do not care how many people you can/have beat up.
I do not want to hear about your latest illegal adventure and I most certainly do not want to know if you have killed someone.
4. Philosophical drunks.
Can’t you just be drunk? Do you also have to attempt to be deep as well? You’re drunk. Waxing philosophical while drunk just makes you sound like an asshole.
5. Don’t sell past the close.
If you already got my number, just stop.
Walk away.
We can talk later. That’s why I gave you the number.
6. Dumb Compliments.
Examples from last night:
“You know you cute, girl”
“You’re making me promiscuous (WTF?)”
“You’re a conscious asshole. You’re purposeful in your asshole statements because you think fast and that shit is sexy.”
You should be ashamed. Go stand in the corner
7. Forgetting where you are.
We are in public.
Do not molest me.
No ass smacking.
Don’t lick me.
Just don’t.
8. Forgetting who you are.
This guy came up to me last night and conveniently reminded me that I’d once told him that I was going to give him some but that his actions bumped him out of the running.
He wanted to know if I would be receptive to his advances now.
I told him no. Why lie?
You almost got some pussy, then you acted like a dumbass, now you can’t even eat my ass. Yeah. I said it….:P
9. Emotional Prattle
I don’t give a damn if your ex broke your heart, If you’ve had trouble trusting women in the past, If you’ve been down on your luck, legal troubles, personal revelations….. Nope. Do not care. We are at the club, or in front of the club. I want to keep it light.
10. Sometimes it’s just talking.
When you see me speak to someone, hug someone, whatever, sometimes its just talking. Perhaps we are friends. Don’t assume. Talking to other people doesn’t mean that they are any more likely to get some than you are. You are both equally unlikely to hit. Just because you see me in a heated discussion, don’t mean there’s beef either. I’m passionate and shit. Its cool and its all love in the club.
Don’t throw stank looks or get huffy. Refer back to number 9. Or by all means go away. Your choice. Thanks for your time and attention.
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