Awkward naked man.
Awkward naked man.
I will try to recount this exactly as it occurred as it was over a year ago yet still creeps me out.
I was at this guys crib chillin. We were still in the early stages of getting acquainted. We are watching TV and all of a sudden he says he’s hot. It was warm so I thought nothing of this.
He then asked me if I would like to take a shower, cuz it was hot. I said, thanks but um no thanks. I am starting to realize that something is off, but I need to find a cordial way of exiting this situation because I have learned that being abrupt with crazy people is not the best idea. They startle easy.
So ANM (Awkward Naked Man) comes out of the bathroom, butt ass naked. He seemed nervous like “Is this going to work?”
The fact is, if you are going to do something like that you have to be bold. Be naked and confident. That confidence in the right situation might have worked. In this situation, it did not.
He gives me this unsure look as if to say “We good?” like imma give him a thumbs up on his nudity. We are not in fact ok but I am still not trying to startle this dude who is blatantly crazy.
I casually explain that I have to work in the morning and that I must go. He proceeds to tell me that he is the richest man in the world and that I can quit my job because I will be his queen and he will care for me. I insist that I must go and manage to get the FUCK OUT. He calls me several times on my way home to see if I will come back. I will not. Ever. I ask him to never call me again.
A few weeks later I get a text. It is ANM. He is apologizing for not calling. He says he lost his phone. The next day I get a voice mail message. He is asking me why I am tripping. He was in jail and it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t call me and why the fuck won’t I answer the phone. Ummmm wow. Hell no. Crazy.
I will try to recount this exactly as it occurred as it was over a year ago yet still creeps me out.
I was at this guys crib chillin. We were still in the early stages of getting acquainted. We are watching TV and all of a sudden he says he’s hot. It was warm so I thought nothing of this.
He then asked me if I would like to take a shower, cuz it was hot. I said, thanks but um no thanks. I am starting to realize that something is off, but I need to find a cordial way of exiting this situation because I have learned that being abrupt with crazy people is not the best idea. They startle easy.
So ANM (Awkward Naked Man) comes out of the bathroom, butt ass naked. He seemed nervous like “Is this going to work?”
The fact is, if you are going to do something like that you have to be bold. Be naked and confident. That confidence in the right situation might have worked. In this situation, it did not.
He gives me this unsure look as if to say “We good?” like imma give him a thumbs up on his nudity. We are not in fact ok but I am still not trying to startle this dude who is blatantly crazy.
I casually explain that I have to work in the morning and that I must go. He proceeds to tell me that he is the richest man in the world and that I can quit my job because I will be his queen and he will care for me. I insist that I must go and manage to get the FUCK OUT. He calls me several times on my way home to see if I will come back. I will not. Ever. I ask him to never call me again.
A few weeks later I get a text. It is ANM. He is apologizing for not calling. He says he lost his phone. The next day I get a voice mail message. He is asking me why I am tripping. He was in jail and it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t call me and why the fuck won’t I answer the phone. Ummmm wow. Hell no. Crazy.
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