Saturday afternoon randoms.

Saturday afternoon randoms.
  • There are 2 movies in this world that never disappoint me :
    Clueless and Bring it on (the original not the numerous straight to video bastardizations).
    Clueless is classic 90’s. And Bring it on is the best. They never promised you Shakespeare. Just cheering and spandex. And boy, did they deliver.

  • This guy I know (Joe New Jersey) said the most homosexual thing I ever heard, but shit, I’ll let you be the judge. Joe is this 300 lb burly New jersey guy, accent and all.

    Joe said (mind you, no one asked and this was completely out of the blue):
    "I’d let a dude fuck me up the ass for a million dollars. I could use the money and I shit things bigger than most dudes dicks.”
    I, in turn, looked at Joe like this:
    Because the thought of Joe taking dick up his hairy man anus was entirely too much to bear.

  • When you take an HIV test or a Pregnancy test and the results are negative, its odd. Cause a Negative result is really positive news if you think about it. So when it comes to HIV or Pregnancy, a negative equals a positive……

  • I always catch colds at the worst time.

  • I have an knack for picking the wrong friend. Always. If I dated you EVER, I was better suited to date your friend and once I did date you, I regretted it. Cuz now I can’t date your friend. Unless you put in a good word for me… think about it.Hint, hint!!! Recycle!

  • I have been known to have the worst taste in men. So I give up. No seriously. I give up. Gods got a plan. I have no clue what it is. But I gotta trust in it. Cuz following my own will sure as hell hasn’t been working.

  • Public service announcements are almost always hilarious.

  • I think I’m going to end up married to Hype. Seriously. He always makes me laugh. And he loves pizza. And he meets all of the height requirements.

  • Babies have lazy ass necks…. And its funny. I love it when they have big ass heads. Big head ass babies….ha ha ha.

  • I bought one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books called “What would you do?” when I was little. It was made by a Christian group (I later found out). It is called “He gave her roses”. It’s the best book ever, cuz at every turn you’re either dating someone, having sex, becoming an alcoholic, catching aids or getting an abortion. I call it the “You’re going to hell” book. Even if you abstain from sex, you still could end up going to hell. It’s a scary ass book. Buy it if you like. Its on sale for like .01 cents…


  • I also have another one called “Whatever you want”, where you are a grown up (male or female) gorging yourself on threesomes, orgies, cocktails and coke binges. In this one, you are vicariously living a life WAY more apt to send you to hell.Feel free to check that one out as well.


  • Fuck this. Im going shopping. I need new shoes. And incense. And fabulousness to compliment my natural fabulousness, until my fabulous designer coat arrives. YAY!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Recap with my Shrink and a Declaration of Singledom

I woke up this morning real sadlike. I woke up knowing that I would have to do something very difficult today. I was going to have to break up with my therapist.... Or at the very least stagger my appointments. See, my job changed my health care. The new shitty ass health care that they gave me is taken by virtually no one. Exhilarating. And right before xmas. Merry fucking xmas. I heart sanity and shit but I cannot afford to spend 2K a year to keep it. When I first walked into his office, I couldn't articulate what was wrong. I was upset but I couldn't say why. Nothing was wrong but Nothing was right either. I was extremely depressed. My gyno recommended that I take up jogging. Tip: When very depressed, do not attempt to jog as a remedy. It is impossible to jog while sobbing. (I speak from personal experience.) He took time. Never questioned me. Waited for me to learn to trust him and take down my guard. He never lectures and never judges. And He helped me immensely in ways t
Read more

Parisienne Mac and Cheese recipe

 When I was working in New York there was this place called "S'mac" and I really loved this fig, brie and rosemary mac and cheese. Yeah, I know. It sounds weird but it works.  Found a recipe online that was close so I modified it to get it closer and here it is. Some of y'all are gonna read this and go off about the sanctity of traditional mac and cheese. That's cool, I fuckin get it. If you don't want to try new shit, fine.  I recommend it but if you don't fuck with it, don't fuck wit it. I don't need a dissertation in the comments bout this shit so chill. Also, if you don't like cooking but want to try this anyway or any of the other mac and cheeses from S'mac, here is the goldbelly link. People seem to love the buffalo chicken too.  https://www.goldbelly.com/smac Parisienne Mac and Cheese  (modified from  https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1667881) Minutes to Prepare: 20 Minutes to Cook: 40 Number of Servings: 8
Read more

At least I still have my shoes.... (HU Homecoming Recap)

Image
I gotta start off with these lyrics.... They are SOOOO applicable. Trust. John Legend - Green Light So I went hard like Medusa staring at me I told her let's go, let's blow this lame nigga factory She said, What type of girl do you think I are The kind that you meet in a bar You think you can get whatever you want cause you some kinda star No I'm a comet I just want you woman Hey, If I were you then It would be me that I go home with 3, the one and only One thing you ain't considered I heard you when you told your girl "ooo he can get it" Admit it You did it Let's hop a cab and split it I'm kiddin We both going to where you livin Fuckin HU Homecoming Weekend. Wooooow. First off, we were running around like crazy. My dopamine was bananas. Seriously. I was so excited. Dan got the tickets midday and I started to tingle off break cuz I knew this had the potential to be the best night at LOVE, EVER!!!! And it was. Dan scoops me, and I am running late as alw
Read more