Trust might as well be another 4 letter word.
My shrink says some of the most amusing shit. This is one of the reasons that I pay him egregious amounts of money, so that he will tell me the shit that I am entirely too dense to absorb of my own accord.
So my shrink says, "Jeanetta, it is possible to trust someone and not be gullible."
Hmmm….
Now my first reaction to this was to think "Wow! That sounds like some shit you'd say to a gullible motherfucker, to get them to let their guard down so you could fuck em over."
This is quite possibly the LEAST trusting reaction that someone could have to the advice that my shrink gave me. I honestly was sitting around trying to figure out his angle.
I mean, I trust him.
But only because I pay him for that Doctor/Patient privileged shit. He’s like legally bound to keep my secrets and I like that shit. I don’t trust damn near anybody. If my mother called me today and asked me for my social, the first words out of my mouth would be "What you need that for?"
The phrase "Trust me" always precedes some fuckry, in my experience. I, myself, have often said "Trust me, its cool". I guarantee that whomever I was talking to should not have trusted me and that whatever insidious shit I was up to, was not in fact cool.
I figure everyone's got an angle because my basic schema of the world revolves around the fact that: People are rational (albeit not the smartest) beings and rational beings do things that are to their own benefit because to do otherwise would be illogical.
People do everything for their own benefit. If it does not benefit them, they will not do it.
Hence: Altruism is bullshit. It doesn't exist because altruism assumes that people are doing something and reaping no benefit.
Take charity for instance: You "selflessly" give money to the poor.
Bullshit. You gave money, true. And the good feeling that you got from giving... That was your reward. That was your benefit...Others benefited from your giving as well. It was a mutually beneficial situation. Win/Win (I love win/win situations). But essentially, everyone has a motive.
{I have a drowning child example that I normally like to bring up, but sufficed to say, it normally pisses everyone off....
Something about people not liking to think about drowning children or something. I was a lifeguard for too long I guess cuz I do this "Death Countdown" thing when I think a kid's about to go under. I mean you can actually see when a drowning about to happen….
I go like this "5, 4, 3, 2, 1". By the time I hit 1, the kids head has slipped under and you jump in for the save. Any sooner and you undermine their confidence and they develop a fear of the water… But whatever.}
Fuck em. Here's my drowning child example. I must have been fucked up when I came up with this one.
Feel free to burn me in effigy….
This is my drowning child example: A child is drowning in a pool. You are a capable swimmer and you save the child. Why? Where is the gain in this situation?
(We all know I did it to avoid getting sued…..) Any way….
The child benefit is apparent. The child lived.
You benefited, too. You saved a life, true, and Kudos to you... but beyond that you have also benefited further.
Say the child drowned. All of the following are likely consequences.
These negative consequences are unpleasant and rather than deal with this, it is much simpler to save the child, therefore you save the child. Avoiding these negative consequences is your benefit. These consequences are inherent and understood and the combination of various Win/Win, Win/Lose and Lose/Lose outcomes essentially make up what I consider to be the Conscience.
Say now that the child is drowning in a turbulent river. It is dangerous and now the situation changes. Your life will be at risk too and you now have to factor that into the equation. You may choose to save the child or you may not.
Is it your child? You may decide to save your child rather than having to live with the pain of losing them. Or you might attempt the save to avoid having to live with the knowledge that your child drowned and you did nothing to stop it.
Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. I can't say what you might do because I am not you... Any number of reasons factor in, but the fact of the matter is this - If the bad outweighs the good, the risk outweighs the reward, the costs outweigh the benefit, you will not do
it.
Essentially what it comes down to is this....DON'T EVER SAY YOU DID SHIT FOR ME.
Fact of the matter is you did it because it either
Same as me and everyone else. You may call it selfish, I call that shit rational.
So my habit of not trusting people's motives is less a condemnation and more of homage to their rational thought patterns. Saying "I don’t trust you" is damn near a compliment.
Rather than lie or bullshit about your motives keep it real…. Those who you are trying to screw over will appreciate your honesty, if nothing else.
So my shrink says, "Jeanetta, it is possible to trust someone and not be gullible."
Hmmm….
Now my first reaction to this was to think "Wow! That sounds like some shit you'd say to a gullible motherfucker, to get them to let their guard down so you could fuck em over."
This is quite possibly the LEAST trusting reaction that someone could have to the advice that my shrink gave me. I honestly was sitting around trying to figure out his angle.
I mean, I trust him.
But only because I pay him for that Doctor/Patient privileged shit. He’s like legally bound to keep my secrets and I like that shit. I don’t trust damn near anybody. If my mother called me today and asked me for my social, the first words out of my mouth would be "What you need that for?"
The phrase "Trust me" always precedes some fuckry, in my experience. I, myself, have often said "Trust me, its cool". I guarantee that whomever I was talking to should not have trusted me and that whatever insidious shit I was up to, was not in fact cool.
I figure everyone's got an angle because my basic schema of the world revolves around the fact that: People are rational (albeit not the smartest) beings and rational beings do things that are to their own benefit because to do otherwise would be illogical.
People do everything for their own benefit. If it does not benefit them, they will not do it.
Hence: Altruism is bullshit. It doesn't exist because altruism assumes that people are doing something and reaping no benefit.
Take charity for instance: You "selflessly" give money to the poor.
Bullshit. You gave money, true. And the good feeling that you got from giving... That was your reward. That was your benefit...Others benefited from your giving as well. It was a mutually beneficial situation. Win/Win (I love win/win situations). But essentially, everyone has a motive.
{I have a drowning child example that I normally like to bring up, but sufficed to say, it normally pisses everyone off....
Something about people not liking to think about drowning children or something. I was a lifeguard for too long I guess cuz I do this "Death Countdown" thing when I think a kid's about to go under. I mean you can actually see when a drowning about to happen….
I go like this "5, 4, 3, 2, 1". By the time I hit 1, the kids head has slipped under and you jump in for the save. Any sooner and you undermine their confidence and they develop a fear of the water… But whatever.}
Fuck em. Here's my drowning child example. I must have been fucked up when I came up with this one.
Feel free to burn me in effigy….
This is my drowning child example: A child is drowning in a pool. You are a capable swimmer and you save the child. Why? Where is the gain in this situation?
(We all know I did it to avoid getting sued…..) Any way….
The child benefit is apparent. The child lived.
You benefited, too. You saved a life, true, and Kudos to you... but beyond that you have also benefited further.
Say the child drowned. All of the following are likely consequences.
- You have to live with the unpleasant memory of witnessing a death,
- You have to contend with public scorn, disdain and contempt
- You (more than likely) will view yourself negatively for having not made an effort to save the child.
These negative consequences are unpleasant and rather than deal with this, it is much simpler to save the child, therefore you save the child. Avoiding these negative consequences is your benefit. These consequences are inherent and understood and the combination of various Win/Win, Win/Lose and Lose/Lose outcomes essentially make up what I consider to be the Conscience.
Say now that the child is drowning in a turbulent river. It is dangerous and now the situation changes. Your life will be at risk too and you now have to factor that into the equation. You may choose to save the child or you may not.
Is it your child? You may decide to save your child rather than having to live with the pain of losing them. Or you might attempt the save to avoid having to live with the knowledge that your child drowned and you did nothing to stop it.
Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. I can't say what you might do because I am not you... Any number of reasons factor in, but the fact of the matter is this - If the bad outweighs the good, the risk outweighs the reward, the costs outweigh the benefit, you will not do
it.
Essentially what it comes down to is this....DON'T EVER SAY YOU DID SHIT FOR ME.
Fact of the matter is you did it because it either
- A) Immediately benefited you,
- B) Indirectly benefited you
- C) You perceive that it will benefit you in the future.
or
Same as me and everyone else. You may call it selfish, I call that shit rational.
So my habit of not trusting people's motives is less a condemnation and more of homage to their rational thought patterns. Saying "I don’t trust you" is damn near a compliment.
Rather than lie or bullshit about your motives keep it real…. Those who you are trying to screw over will appreciate your honesty, if nothing else.
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