I didn't get laid.

I didn't get laid. But I also didnt finish my people math either. I recently got busy. I have something in the works right now. So you get left over randoms, that I compiled during my hair appointment yesterday.

• Don’t leave me Voicemails:
  I don’t check them. I have 3 from this weekend in my phone right now. I figure, if you left a voicemail, it was because you couldn’t reach me. Talking to me was your preference, but you settled for voicemail so I figure, calling you back is like 10 times better than listening to the fuck ass voicemail that you left. When in doubt, if you think I might not see the missed call, feel free to text me. I heart text messages….
  
  
• I wanna give Lil Wayne the drawz.
  Yes, he is a crack head. But he is a functional crackhead. And not everyone can function on crack. So kudos to Lil Wayne. Kudos.
  
  If there is any doubt in your mind as to whether he is on crack or not, check out the lyrics to the “Crying out for me” remix.
  
  
• I take horrible pictures. Sorry. I'm working on it.
  
  
• I don't take compliments about my appearance well.
  Feel free to compliment my mind or my writing but appearance compliments creep me out. It’s not that I don't believe you. I do. And I'm sure you mean well.
  It’s something I'm working on it.
  
  I don't take compliments well for the following reasons:
  
  1. It feels frivolous and shallow.
     I am more than just breasts, ass and a whole lotta hair damn it.
     
     
  2. I don't trust so good.
     I just figure you want something, sorry I don't trust so good.
     
     
  3. When I was younger (from roughly ages 6 -11) older men would compliment me in ways that were completely inappropriate.
     
     So excessive compliments remind me of perverts and when you compliment me too much, I wonder about your level of perversion.
     
     
  4. I hate the fact that I'm obligated to thank you. I don't do guiltmongering (aka obligation.)
     
     This one night I went to Circuit city with Eve.
     
     While in line, this guy turned to me and said “You're beautiful.”
     I said: "Ok." (I wasn't in the mood. I was pissy, depressed and malnourished. )
     He said: “You’re supposed to say thank you”
     I said: “Thanks” (dripping with sarcasm).
     He said: ”You’re welcome”
     
     A) He was a moron.
     
     B) Everything about my demeanor screamed "Thank you for not sharing!" I didn't want to be bothered.
     
     C) Additionally, his comment implied that I gave a hot damn about his opinion, which I did not. I do not walk out of the housing with the expressed goal of pleasing you. Please kindly kill yourself. (Wow. That was kinda bitchy) Whatever.
  
  
  I'm working on it.
  
  
• I think Rihanna is stupid.
  Really, really stupid. Or perhaps its just Allure Magazines interview style. Cuz after reading the latest one, I also thought Diane Keaton was stupid too (and I’m fairly sure she isn’t).
  
  
• I hate reggae (even Bob Marley)
  Possibly this is because everyone says you can’t hate Bob Marley. I enjoy defying convention. But I don’t hate Ska.
  
  
• Do you read my shit? Does it seem like I am writing about you?
  
  Hmm, let’s examine this:
  
  Sometimes I talk about people. Like if your my ex. Especially if you owe me money. That shit's Fair game and its Open season.
  
  Normally if I am talking about someone specifically, I change the name. If the scenario is incredibly bananas, you know it was you.
  
  If we are currently having sex I probably won’t talk about you. Reliable and consistent penis buys you a bit of anonymity.
  
  Inconsistent/unreliable penis or erections lackin in integrity (ie. dysfunction) will get you called out (though I will change your name).
  
  Normally I won’t kick you when you’re down . That’s just plain cruel. So if you’re down on your luck and you think I’m talking about you, I’m probably not. Unless your always down on your luck. Then I might take a cheap shot.
  
  
• When Mariah Carey is responsible for dressing herself, she looks like a cheap hooker. Sometimes if I’m not careful, I look like Mariah Carey. Therefore, sometimes I look like a cheap hooker. Go figure.
  
  
• For all those who ever asked:
  
  1. Yes, I am mixed.
     
     
  2. No, it’s not weird.
     
     
  3. No, I don’t have racial identification issues.
     
     
  4. Yes, I do have some Indian in my family.
     
     
  5. When I have to self select my identity on one of those forms I either check White, Black and Native American, or other (when I can only select one) and then I write in bi racial.
     
     
  6. No, it’s not a big deal &
     
     
  7. No, I don’t think you’re astute and sensitive for asking. I think you're a douche bag.
  
  
  
• I like to go out to dinner and order salad and dessert.
  Just salad and dessert. Like double chocolate cake or key lime pie. I really like salad. And I really love dessert. And I should never have to eat a real meal if I don't want 2. So I get salad and pie. I order exactly what I want. If that just happens to be tater tots with nacho cheese sauce for dinner and a beer, then so be it.
  
  
• I wanted to be 5 places on Friday:
  Paris
  Japan
  New York
  Cancun
  And thanks to Seythe, Miami.
  
  
• If you would have told me 4 years ago that I would be looking for a bible study group, I would have told you to lay off of the drugs….. Go figure.
  
  
• Apparently I am not a club alcoholic cuz Friday night I drank 1 glass of wine. Just 1. And I had a great time.
  
  
• Still need extra Jesus tho....

This is my favorite postsecret of the day....