The Simple HO Equation… Cuz Ho-ing is a science!
The Simple HO Equation… Cuz Ho-ing is a science!
Preamble to the reexamination of the HO Equation:
Last night I lost my thumb drive, which has negative implications for me (ie. I can't just repost old shit anymore as I have lost all of my older material) and what could be perceived as positive benefits for everyone else (ie. My lazy ass will have to actually write new shit if I want to keep up this fucking blog.).
Much to my dismay, the only surviving copy of the HO equation was on that fucking thumb drive.
The HO equation came out of a frenzied evening at Target with my cousin where I was analyzing a statement made by my ex. He called me an Ugly HO.
The Ho part I shook off….
His argument was solely based on the fact that I bought big boxes of condoms.
Nothing wrong with buying a family pack of condoms. It makes logical sense.
Think about it:
Whatever. I’m not concerned about the Ho part but who tha fuck was he calling ugly?
Hence: The Ho equation.
My definition of “Ho” hinges upon offer and acceptance, kind of like Contracts.
The initial HO equation was really a ratio with P representing sex (an homage to Naughty by Nature’s “OPP”), O representing that which is Offered to you and A= the number of times that you accepted so that it looked like this:
PO (sex offered)/ PA (sex accepted)
Mathematically, we can actually eliminate the P as it is on both sides of the equation and therefore cancels itself out. I have left it in because I am down with OPP (yeah, you know me.)
I digress.
The closer your ratio is to 1 the higher the likelihood that you might be a Ho.
Okay. Lets do Ho math!
If PO is equal to 10 and PA is equal to 2, then your HO ratio is 10/2= 5. So out of the 10 times that you were offered sex, you only accepted twice. Not a bad Ho ratio.
A higher numerator is indicative of your desirability to those around you. A higher the denominator is indicative of a lack of selectivity on your part (hence the Ho-ishness).
There is also a vaguely formed Whore equation, but honestly it’s merely a list of my pontifications on the differences between Prostitutes and Escorts, but that’s a whole nother blog).
Anyway. I thought perhaps I had posted “The Ho equation” somewhere. So I googled and upon googling, in a attempt to find some evidence of my long lost blog entry, I came upon an actual HO equation. SERIOUSLY!
HO (Harmonic Oscillator) equations are physics (I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be any type of physicist, so bear with me.)
I came upon a definition of a “Simple HO equation”.
Tee hee hee. Simple Ho. Tee hee hee. (Yeah, I’m juvenile. So tha fuck what?)
So according to Kettering.edu : In order for mechanical oscillation to occur, a system must possess two things: elasticity and inertia. When the system is displaced from its equilibrium position, the elasticity provides a restoring force such that the system tries to return to equilibrium. The inertia property causes the system to overshoot equilibrium.
Okay, so let’s apply physics to Hos.
Take a Ho. Let us think in abstract terms. It is true that Hos are people too, but in this example we must think of the Ho as an object.
Per Newton’s 1st Law - an object at rest will stay at rest …..
Hence: A Ho at rest will stay at rest…..
The Ho (in his or her natural habitat) is a stationary object at an equilibrium point.
Friction in this instance can be described as external factors.
Familial troubles, pressures at home, work or school force the Ho away from equilibrium. A Hos natural state is not necessarily one of promiscuity. Therefore when friction is applied, Ho inertia kicks in. A Ho will try to return back to a state of equilibrium.
As stated above, When the system is displaced from its equilibrium position, the elasticity provides a restoring force such that the system tries to return to equilibrium. The inertia property causes the system to overshoot equilibrium.
Remember Hos possess elasticity, because Hos are flexible.
So, if the HO is the aforementioned system, then according to this particular Ho example, the elasticity of the Ho will push the Ho back toward equilibrium but will inevitably result in overcorrection due to Ho elasticity.
Case in point: Have you ever seen a Ho “reform”?
They swear off sex and attempt to “live right”. That is overshooting equilibrium. And please believe, that Ho is one external influence away from Ho-ing again.
I guess this all boils down to the fact that Ho is not a constant state but merely the effect of external influences which will then impose upward pressure on the denominator in the initial HO equation and therefore push your Ho ratio closer to 1.
Or perhaps its not physics at all.
Perhaps in the eternal words of Mobb Deep: “A Ho’s gonna be a Ho.”
All I know is, Ho is an equal opportunity state of being. Ho does not discriminate.
Ludacris said it best when he said: “Ho’s don’t feel so sad and blue, cuz most of us niggaz is Ho’s too.”
I’m just saying- if you’re feeling some external influences and think your Ho ratio might be getting close to 1, better hope somebody bought that family size box of condoms…
They’re affordable and it’s not like they’re going bad anytime soon.
AND PLEASE: DON’T FORGET TO RECYCLE.
Preamble to the reexamination of the HO Equation:
Last night I lost my thumb drive, which has negative implications for me (ie. I can't just repost old shit anymore as I have lost all of my older material) and what could be perceived as positive benefits for everyone else (ie. My lazy ass will have to actually write new shit if I want to keep up this fucking blog.).
Much to my dismay, the only surviving copy of the HO equation was on that fucking thumb drive.
The HO equation came out of a frenzied evening at Target with my cousin where I was analyzing a statement made by my ex. He called me an Ugly HO.
The Ho part I shook off….
His argument was solely based on the fact that I bought big boxes of condoms.
Nothing wrong with buying a family pack of condoms. It makes logical sense.
Think about it:
- Price per unit it is cheaper to buy a large box than a 3 pack.
- It’s not like they go bad. Its not like milk that’s gonna go bad in a couple of weeks. I could go through a 2 year dry spell and them bitches will still be good.
- His bitch ass wasn’t buying them.
Whatever. I’m not concerned about the Ho part but who tha fuck was he calling ugly?
Hence: The Ho equation.
My definition of “Ho” hinges upon offer and acceptance, kind of like Contracts.
The initial HO equation was really a ratio with P representing sex (an homage to Naughty by Nature’s “OPP”), O representing that which is Offered to you and A= the number of times that you accepted so that it looked like this:
PO (sex offered)/ PA (sex accepted)
Mathematically, we can actually eliminate the P as it is on both sides of the equation and therefore cancels itself out. I have left it in because I am down with OPP (yeah, you know me.)
I digress.
The closer your ratio is to 1 the higher the likelihood that you might be a Ho.
Okay. Lets do Ho math!
If PO is equal to 10 and PA is equal to 2, then your HO ratio is 10/2= 5. So out of the 10 times that you were offered sex, you only accepted twice. Not a bad Ho ratio.
A higher numerator is indicative of your desirability to those around you. A higher the denominator is indicative of a lack of selectivity on your part (hence the Ho-ishness).
There is also a vaguely formed Whore equation, but honestly it’s merely a list of my pontifications on the differences between Prostitutes and Escorts, but that’s a whole nother blog).
Anyway. I thought perhaps I had posted “The Ho equation” somewhere. So I googled and upon googling, in a attempt to find some evidence of my long lost blog entry, I came upon an actual HO equation. SERIOUSLY!
HO (Harmonic Oscillator) equations are physics (I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be any type of physicist, so bear with me.)
I came upon a definition of a “Simple HO equation”.
Tee hee hee. Simple Ho. Tee hee hee. (Yeah, I’m juvenile. So tha fuck what?)
So according to Kettering.edu : In order for mechanical oscillation to occur, a system must possess two things: elasticity and inertia. When the system is displaced from its equilibrium position, the elasticity provides a restoring force such that the system tries to return to equilibrium. The inertia property causes the system to overshoot equilibrium.
Okay, so let’s apply physics to Hos.
Take a Ho. Let us think in abstract terms. It is true that Hos are people too, but in this example we must think of the Ho as an object.
Per Newton’s 1st Law - an object at rest will stay at rest …..
Hence: A Ho at rest will stay at rest…..
The Ho (in his or her natural habitat) is a stationary object at an equilibrium point.
Friction in this instance can be described as external factors.
Familial troubles, pressures at home, work or school force the Ho away from equilibrium. A Hos natural state is not necessarily one of promiscuity. Therefore when friction is applied, Ho inertia kicks in. A Ho will try to return back to a state of equilibrium.
As stated above, When the system is displaced from its equilibrium position, the elasticity provides a restoring force such that the system tries to return to equilibrium. The inertia property causes the system to overshoot equilibrium.
Remember Hos possess elasticity, because Hos are flexible.
So, if the HO is the aforementioned system, then according to this particular Ho example, the elasticity of the Ho will push the Ho back toward equilibrium but will inevitably result in overcorrection due to Ho elasticity.
Case in point: Have you ever seen a Ho “reform”?
They swear off sex and attempt to “live right”. That is overshooting equilibrium. And please believe, that Ho is one external influence away from Ho-ing again.
I guess this all boils down to the fact that Ho is not a constant state but merely the effect of external influences which will then impose upward pressure on the denominator in the initial HO equation and therefore push your Ho ratio closer to 1.
Or perhaps its not physics at all.
Perhaps in the eternal words of Mobb Deep: “A Ho’s gonna be a Ho.”
All I know is, Ho is an equal opportunity state of being. Ho does not discriminate.
Ludacris said it best when he said: “Ho’s don’t feel so sad and blue, cuz most of us niggaz is Ho’s too.”
I’m just saying- if you’re feeling some external influences and think your Ho ratio might be getting close to 1, better hope somebody bought that family size box of condoms…
They’re affordable and it’s not like they’re going bad anytime soon.
AND PLEASE: DON’T FORGET TO RECYCLE.
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