My deep and abiding love of bootlegs. (aka God made P2P sharing and it was good)

My deep and abiding love of bootlegs. (aka God made P2P sharing and it was good)

I hold few things, dear in this world. One tenet that I hold above most others is simply this : God made lots of shit in the world. This shit was made for my enjoyment. If God wanted me to pay, he wouldn’t have created Napster or any peer-to-peer sharing applications. Therefore this shit should be free.

Encompassed in this theory is:

• Land
-which brings me back to my “FUCK TAXES” rant.

• Music


• Movies

and

• Cable
- which leads me back to my ”I should have my own country and steal cable” rant.

God made Music and Movies for man….. I am Man (okay, really I am woman, but you get the jest.), Therefore –things made for man by god, for man’s enjoyment should thus be free unto man and enjoyed by man and thus shared with man’s friends for mass viewing and consumption…..

When I pay for a movie…. And it’s awful, it feels bad. Like I just gave up my wallet to a mugger only to find out later that it was a prop gun. It ends up fucking up my whole day.

But a bootleg, well that’s like a bad pizza or sex. Even when it’s bad, its still sex. Its still pizza. It can only be but so bad.

Bootleg can disappoint tho but still I believe that everything tastes, sounds and looks better when free.

Here is a list of the bootlegs that we returned (not an easy feat but if you argue loud enough with anyone in a shady ass line of work, you’d be amazed what you can accomplish.) and didn’t return but fucking wanted to.

• “O”- watching Mekhi Phifer chase after Julia Stiles was like watching “Save the Last Dance” without the ridiculously bad slang and dance scenes. It took all of the fun out of it.



• “Two Can Play that Game”- DO YOU KNOW THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO MAKE ”THREE CAN PLAY THAT GAME”!!!Vivica Fox has only been in 2 movies that she didn’t truly fuck up and those were “Set it off” (cuz how could anyone fuck up that movie) and “Kill Bill” (for the exact same reason).



• “Four Brothers”- I might be alone in this but FuckIT I hated this movie…A lot. Damn you ANDRE aka Dre aka Possum Allawishes Jenkins Andre 3000 with your silky sexy fantastic perm….. This movie was shit…..



• “Coach Carter”- I do not look to Samuel L. Jackson Movies for inspiration. I look for cursing and loudness and Snakes on Planes… And drug use… often I want drug use. On a side note, Ashanti should not be allowed to act, sing, talk or really even leave the house….

Some movies are actually better bootlegged.

For instance:

• “1408”- The Bootleg ending was way better than the actual ending. I don’t know if the DVD was the directors cut or what but if it was the fucking director should be shot. Although it did give me one more chance to see Samuel L Jackson being a fucking badass.



• “States Property”-The bootleg I saw ended right after they shot up the court room. Far better than the edifying ending that drives home the “I’m doing hard time” message….

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I am not totally opposed to buying things.

I just bought the Lupe Fiasco CD (after listening to the bootleg for months, guiltily).

The sad fact is that my “Legit” copy of “The Cool” only has 19 tracks. My bootlegger delivered excellent Quality MP3’s to me for FREE and my bootleg copy had 25 tracks….the 19 retail tracks, not to mention 6 “bonus” tracks for my listening enjoyment.

Additionally, he supplied me with “American Gangster” the album and the movie, The Kanye Junt, 50 Cent, Hi-Tek, Scarface, Beanie Sigel, J. Dilla, Joe Budden, Statik, Styles P. , Too Short, Wu Tang, and a slew of random shit all for FREE…. To the point that I feel like a fucking chump paying for anything at this point.

I’m just saying will buy shit….. But I feel the need to have a bootleg “test run”, if you will, before I break bread on shit that isn’t worth my hard earned (and sometimes not so hard earned) cash….