There but for the grace of God go I……

There but for the grace of god go I……

I am not nearly as grateful for the blessings in my life as I should be. I honestly should be in jail right now. No joke. I could go into the details but just know that at this very moment I should be facing at least 3 different charges (at least 3).

And I have to say, I should have seen this coming. My behavior, though better than it has been in the past, is still out of control.

Here is a list of several of the contributing factors to my freedom:

• My breasts: The police like my boobs. I have never before been so grateful to have boobs.


• My Sassiness: Apparently, the police are amused by my cursing and my feistiness. I have never before been so happy that I have a smart ass mouth.


• A dress very similar to this one: It was more of a neutral print but whatever.
  


• Quite possibly the look on my face: I am pretty sure it was a cross between sad, hopeless and being intensely blown. There was a moment when I just gave up and was like “FUCK! I’m bout to get arrested. Ain’t that a bitch!"


• The Police gave me a break: Through all the arguing that I was doing and I’m sure I was, at the very least, semi-belligerent. They REALLY gave me a break. Seriously.

I can make light of the situation but seriously I am truly blessed. I have to realize that the fact that I am not in jail or dead or other is because SOMEONE up there likes me. ALOT.

After all that I’ve been through, all that I’ve seen, for me not to make changes in my life is arrogant to say the least. If I’ve lived through all of this, there has to be a reason that I’m still here. 2005 and 2006 were rough and the fact that im walking free after all of that shit is astonishing.

This blog thing; it’s been my dream for a while. I finally took that step to make it happen. I’m starting to do that more and more. Take the steps that I need to in this world to make my dreams come true.

It’s time to start being more selective about who I surround myself with and make positive steps toward my future. So many people have made sacrifices to enable me to be where I am today and for me to throw it all away doing shit that I know I have no business doing is just a slap in the face.

Its coming to the point that, for as many times as I have not given a fuck whether I lived or died, someone up there did and my current state of freedom isn’t even something I can take for granted right now, because it goes beyond luck.

I am truly blessed to be walking free. I guess its time for me to start living more responsibly and realizing that I have great things ahead of me.


And it only took me 25 years…..