Me and Lent are Straight Fuckin Beefin.

I'd written a drunken 2am blog but I pulled it down because it lacked cohesion. Parts of it are in this blog but I couldn't just leave it as it was.

Nothing good came out of the last 24 hours.

First off, Me and Lent are straight beefin. Straight Beef.

Within the last 24 hrs, I broke all of my Lent donts.

For Lent I gave up:
  1. Cigarettes
  2. Hard Liquor
    and
  3. Most Men.


Yesterday actually started off all wrong. It was all misty out in the morning and I had to run around town and pick up shit for work. So I go and do all this random ass shit and lo and behold, I end up with another sore throat.

I have been fighting off the same cold for the past two weeks. My job is extra stressful and stress kills.

Also, I have the worlds shittiest immune system due to the following factors:
  • I dont take vitamins.
  • I never get enough sleep.
  • Rarely am I properly attired for the weather.


The culminating factor in all of this is the fact that I developed an eating disorder right after college. It was a very confusing time and I hit a point where I was just terrified. Its funny. A rape, an abortion, and the various trouble I'd managed to get myself into, and the thing that fractured me was college graduation and the mere prospect of my own future. SMH.

At my worst I had kidney pain, was prone to fainting and had my best friend ask me if I had a drug problem. It was that bad. I'd say it took me about 3 years to get back to semi-normal eating. Sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I don't. I have to be careful about dieting and will always be conscious of my weight but I function now so at least that's something.

I guess all I can say is: when you are literally starving to death, it turns down the volume on everything else. Nothing can compare to the life and death drama that you are living out every day. Eh. This was a rough patch in my life.

Anyway, at this point, I have become accustomed to catching colds. So when the cold that I had been fighting off came back around noon, I promptly canceled my plans to grab a drink with James.

When I felt much better later that afternoon, I was assed out because I am an asshole who habitually deletes phone numbers. I didn't have his so I figured fuck it. But I did feel remarkably better. I even felt good enough to yell for 20 consecutive minutes about my tax dollars and how the youthes were wasting them by gettin up in the morning, smoking marijuana cigarettes on the back of the bus that I pay for, Raping each other with broom sticks, assaulting teachers and then going home and playing video games bought with my hard earned money...

Head home and then head over to a friends house to watch a movie.

Let me just say this:
Cuervo Silver is evil. Nothing good comes from it. Nothing.
Not fucking is awesome. Cuz you can fuck anybody... Not fucking.. way cooler. And once you fuck, it is quite hard to unfuck. eh. So be it.


You know that the next morning is going to be horrid when you get home and realize that you are 3 times drunker than you thought you were.

Hence the drunk blogging...
(Verbatim. Liquor is the devil.)

Imma go private. If you want to continue to be able to read this, you need to email me atso that I can add you to the invite list.


Today they let me out into the world. I was reluctant to leave my desk but once I was out, I had this wonderful sense of exhilaration. It was awesome! Awe-sum. I figured I'd sit myself down and write me some shit before I felt less awesome.

Dear 20 something guys,
You are awesome. Very energetic and eager to please. I like that shit. Also, bonus points if you are fresh out of college, which means your still used to learning things and are easily trained. I like that too... Super bonus points if you were a college athlete, which means that your used to practing shit as well.

Dear 30 something guys,
You are awesome as well. You have your own wonderful perks. Experience. Knowledge of self. The sex is amazing. I have love for you.

Dear Guys over 25 but under 30,
I don't quite get you. You are okay in bed and you know who you are (kinda). At least, you know what you don't want. I don't think you have any clue of what you do want tho. Nor do I care. The End.

I am currently going through a cougar phase.

Like the Brat said:
"I like 'em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian with Good conversation plenty big faces"



Cept I dont like em Puerto Rican.Bail was Puerto Rican. Additionally, I gives not a fuck about big faces. Money is Overrated. Real Overrated.

I guess things are at an If/Then crossroads. Everything feels like an If/Then Logic equation.

If I swallow then you are contractually obligated to tongue kiss me after.
If you do not then you will not get the benefits of my head.

If you do not go down, then I will not smash.
If you go down and it is lousy, then I will still not smash.
If you do go down and it is amazing, then I might let you hit even if I am sure that I will suck. (I am a sucker for amazing head).

Eh. Whatev. I love a boy. And by boy, I mean man. But in a not lame or sorry ass way. I have had wonderful luck with booty calls. In that they are supportive and caring and there in times of need. I am sooo periodically in need. And a Friend in need is a friend indeed...

But life is short and I also like someone. I have found that saying that I like someone is the kiss of death. Once I say it, it falls apart. So perhaps it'll fall apart now. Who knows? But I am along for the ride. I like being in like. It's great. No complications. You like til you don't like anymore. and then you leave. No muss, very little fuss.

This was short. It is what it is. I'm workin on some people math, so stick with me. You have 2 weeks to email me and then I'm going Private.


Bad. Real bad. And a tad touchy feely. No good.

Went to bed and when I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to be shit. A downpour? Really tho?

Fucking wonderful. At this point, by the time I get to work, my brain is cursing me for having the audacity to imbibe so much alcohol and still go to work. People keep on asking me questions all day and by 3pm I hit my wall. Does no one understand what "Shut the fuck up" means? Dear god.

Also, Why do I have an office when everyone just walks in anyway. If I could blow up shit with my mind, the first thing I would blow up is peoples heads.

There is a reason I was giving up Hard Liquor. I am not supposed to drink on my Anti-depressants. Also, for me to take my Beautiful Klonopins, I cannot be drunk. If I drink and take them, apparently I could die.

If I had to choose between Klonopins and liquor… Klonopin would bitch slap liquor every time. Everytime.

So I have been at work all day. Mostly annoyed. Lacking homeostasis. I should take a half of a Klonopin but my dumb ass keeps leaving them at home and I have to work tonight so I can’t take one when I get home. Ill leave work today, walk home to calm my nerves and go to the club. After I will go home so that I can get fresh to death in the salon and catch up with the PYT that I have not been giving enough attention. Damn 22 year olds…. It’s a sickness I tell you. A sickness. His abs… OMFG his abs. :D

I am attempting to reinstate some normalcy into my life. Back to studying. I been fucking up lately. Also, I have a standing Sunday appointment with Plan A. It’s something nice to look forward to every week and makes sure that he stays on my radar. He deserves to stay on my radar. He is quite special to me...

Between that, The PYT and Oh So Sexy's pop ups, I should be able to get a good deal of work done. I am a firm believer in scouting new dick but with a full roster, I shall buckle down and get my study on.

This week. Not fucking good. Here's hoping next week is better.
At least I got my tax refund. Now I can spend all my money on Urban Outfitters t-shirts. Its an obsession.

I was trying to bless someone with the gift of Drake and couldn't find a link so I uploaded one.

http://www.zshare.net/download/581319991fd078af/


For every moment of my day, there is a Drake song that perfectly defines it.


This year is the last Lent I'm doing. This shit is whack.

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