Strippers, Cryin Bitches and the return of the Zen Buddha Master.

Strippers, Cryin Bitches and the return of the Zen Buddha Master.

  • Shit that was said and heard
    1. I didn't know they made thongs that small. You learn something new every day.

    2. Looking at her makes me want to go to the gym, like right now.

    3. I'd fuck the chick with the one star earring. That shit reminds me of my old Jem doll. Cept my Jem doll looked like a transvestite.

    4. He wants to get you drunk but he doesn't want to take advantage of you.
    5. What's that song, that E-40 song? Give me head hoe?

    6. Her hair makes her look like a horse. I mean it's hot tho.

    Extra bonus points to whomever can figure out what strip club I was in…

  • If I was a dictator, trust and believe motherfuckers would get murdered on the reg. You have any idea how hard it is to run a country? Seriously? And now I gotta deal with fringe groups protesting bout random shit? Oh hell no. Dead. I don't got time to deal with all that ole bullshit. But I'd be extra laissez faire bout shit like gay marriage and abortion and shit. I wanna give yall something to argue bout, so you’re too distracted to bother me about other shit.

  • If Mary J Blige is the patron saint of bitter women, then Keyshia Cole is her disciple. Bitter bitches gotta cry to something.....

  • I had to apologize yesterday. Calling that dude "a waste of a cumstain" was totally unnecessary. I still feel that he is, but I didn't need to say it. Sorry.

  • Stupid people shouldn't make fun of overweight people, cuz overweight people can always lose weight, but stupid people can't become unstupid.

  • Walking to FedEx yesterday, I saw someone who looked familiar. He caught my eye, and I looked at him, he looked at me and I said "You used to live Atlanta?" He said "yeah." And I said "Hey."

    It was Zen Buddha Master. I thought I'd seen him at a coffee shop the day before but I'd brushed it off.

    I met him in Atlanta, and I'd assumed his ass was still there. Apparently I was mistaken. We all know I think Ibiza is too small when I was fucking hiding from 3 dudes (and an unrealized, unseen 4th) last time I was there and Love is too small (same deal) and Olives is WAY too fuckin small (hiding from 6 motherfuckers). Pashas so fucking small, I refuse to step my ass inside. Dc is apparently too fucking small, but now I'm realizing the whole east coast is too small. I'm moving to Mars. I ain’t never hollared at no Martians, so I should be safe. I got 99 problems, and they're all bitches. Every last one.

  • Men should not wear rhinestones. Ever. Ed Hardy my ass. That shit looks gay. End of story, no exceptions.

  • They need to make a pussy cola. Sure some people wouldn't like it but other people would be pussy cola addicts.


  • Best public service announcements:

    Cross like your life depends on it.


    This shit scared the hell out of me. What the fuck were these people thinking? I mean, the message is relevant but damn!

    Prescription meds kill too


    This shit is extra ineffective. So what your saying is that, instead of dropping $20 a pill on black market Oxy’s, I should just cop a bag of black tar heroin, cuz they'll both kill me just the same?


    Heroin public service Announcement


    Umm, Rachel Leigh cook fucked up that kitchen. A lot.

  • Best "Very special episodes" from TV!-
    Every fuckin episode of Blossom:
    With a single dad, a dumb brother, a recovered drug addict brother and a teenage girl, what else you expect?

    Saved by the Bell:
    Jessie on caffeine pills. This shit is a classic.


    Different world:
    The "Freddie almost gets raped episode".


    See also the "Gina catches an ass whoopin from her man" episode.

    Fresh prince of Bel Air:
    The "Will’s father abandons him for the 80th time" episode.



    Good times:
    James dies… Damn Damn DAMN!!!.


    What's Happenin:
    The episode when Rerun bootlegs the Doobie Brother's concert.




Just a random midweek sampling of what tha fuck it is... :p

Comments

Unknown said…
I feel you on the Ed Hardy Comment. Don't avoid shorties in the club. Keep it ganster let them know their place that just might make them more into you though.
23/5/08 8:28 AM
Anonymous said…
I must also co sign on the Ed Hardey. And must also add that men should not wear skinny jeans... Just as gay. I never wanna be able to pic up a pair of jeans in the pre sex heap of clothes and either be able to rock them, or check if they are mine. Uh huh. Not cool.

Oh and that Fresh Prince episode was the shyt... Kinda. I always cry with that episode because I too am a product of a fatherless household. I think we all ask that question. Especially when ur father knows where u r & likes to pop up then bounce. (sniff) That shyt hurt... I need a tissue, excuse me.
27/5/08 5:22 PM
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