The Good, the Bad & the Semi-Literate

Please do not read my blog immediately prior to, following or in lieu of Church Service. It is probably a bad idea. In the immortal words of DMX: It's dark and hell is hot....

Last night was supposed to be my “Last Hurrah”. I gotta get serious with my life. That means studying for Grad School, looking at condos and planning on findin a normal ass dude, settling down and makin some babies. (Dan says that shit is kinda like Jordan retiring). Shit, I gotta focus of what I need to do. I’ve stopped allowing my Ex to pretend that we are friends, as it served no purpose but to allow him to feel better about the situation . When I need him, he is never around. When I want him, he is never around. I got high friend standards and he ain’t meetin em. So why call it friendship when he only serves as a second tier acquaintance. I honestly don’t think he knows how to truly be someone’s friend. I gotta stop trickin off wit these young and nubile hoe ass dudes. They fun and shit but you can’t keep em. Plus, I think I wanna have some babies one day and these non-committal, “It’s all about me” kinda guys aren’t gonna cut it. Side note: I had a dream the other night that I was...

DJ XKLUSIVE'S newest R&B Mix Sip It – Ernie Gaines ft TI Just Like Me – Jamie Foxx ft TI If You Were Mine – Pleasure P Say You Will – Kanye West If I Were a Boy Rmx- Beyonce ft R. Kelly Skin- R Kelly No.1 Sex – R Kelly ft Keri DOWNLOAD IT BITCHES!!!!! Also CLICK THIS SHIT FOR HIS "THE DREAM" Mix Message from the Artist: Jay Raymos is the shit bitchlook at my neck damnlook at my wrist damn

Motherfuckers shootin again. Aint that a bitch.

OMG. So I tested out Klonopin and I need you to know that it is by far the awesomest thing since sliced bread. Like take your life. Take all the "give a damn". Toss it out the window. And not in the usual "empty, no point, no purpose" type of way. No. Like in the wonderful "Everything is just as it should be and all is right with the world" kind of way. I wouldn't take it everyday cuz I'm sure it'd lead to unemployment but... well damn. It's good shit. I feel like that guy in "Office Space". I'm just saying.... it's alil awesome.

I am looking at a condo or 2. I looked at my finances and I should be in one no later than 2010, tho i think i could swing it now...So sexy. These Junior one bedrooms are just enough for me. I think I'm in love with some housing....

I bequeath to you ignorance....

Preface: I often recap shit I talk about with my shrink. He is a wise man and sometimes I recap what we talk about because it echoes of the shit that I been goin through... but mostly I recap because it took me soooo long to be ok with going to the shrink, and even longer to be OK with getting on Medication. I cannot count how many people told me not to go and how many people told me that "Black people don't go to shrinks, you better call a friend or your mama or your pastor." I spent a really long time not gettin the help that I needed due to other peoples ignorance and bullshit stigmatizations. So I feel semi-obligated to speak on and recount the visits that I have with my very awesome shrink and to let people know how much it helped me (and encourage all those who are thinking about it to know that it's cool and it saved my life). Just sayin.... :P Recap with my Shrink: Apparently I am doin AOK except for the fact that I had a couple of anxiety attacks. Lemme say ...

Imma tax that ass. Imma tax that ass. Yippeeee. Sex and candy baby. Sex and candy. I smile deeply cuz I know it'll be fantastic. And I just bought a 12 pack of them Magnum Twisters. AMEN for condoms. AMEN for that "Oh So Sexy man . Before it felt like this: Now I feel like bumpin this shit: Hopefully my new drawz will arrive first. Lowkey ass weekend. Friday night a new man friend invited me to the Wizards game. That was chill. After I did laundry. Got home and crashed. Next morning he called and invited me to his place for lunch. I love a man who can cook. Most guys I wind up meeting can only cook eggs. No good. No good. His place was super artistic. Nice shit. and apparently he owns 2 of everything. Call him "Mr. Me Too". 2 laptops. 2 flatscreens. 2 everything. Mirror on the ceiling. Yeah. Hilarity ensued. Went home and slept. Yeah. Lowkey. Went to Target. Booked the chick I been flirtin with for about 5 months. Yeah. It was a decent weekend.

I got tagged. Essentially getting tagged is the Blog equivalant of a fuckin chain letter, but I figured, fuck it..... So Amber Alert and Everyone needs a little TLC... .... Here it goes. First here are the rules: 1. Link back to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog 2. Share 7 weird/random facts about urself 3. Tag 7 random ppl at the end of your post and include links to their blogs 4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog here goes nothin: 1. I've Never been to a Professional Basketball Game. College. Yes. High School. Yes. But in both cases I was messing with someone on the team and they liked it when I showed up. I always brought a book. Always. Try reading Ayn Rand at a basketball game. It is odd. Actually, I only realized this today, cuz I got asked out to a basketball game with a guy who makes me laugh, and smile. I shall go. Sans book. 2. Ashley is my New Ungay Gay Wife. Yup. She isn't gay. But neithe...

This blog is going to be spotty. I will attempt to keep some modicum of continuity but there are some things that I am choosing to leave out and some things I just plain forgot. Fuck it. This is what went down from my perspective. I left work Friday. Got discombobulated on my way to the airport (probably from lack of sleep) and ended up on the wrong train. Once I finally got to the airport, my plane was sooo delayed. I finally got on the plane, passed out numerous times as we were stuck on the runway trying to get out of DCA and into LGA. Whatevs. Finally land and of course I'm already late. I go to this Taxi stand and am immediately warning me not to accept rides from illegal taxicabs. I take note and keep it moving. I call to check in with everyone and my new boycott word reared its head. "What are WE Doing?" This is why I was a Brownies dropout. I didn't even ride it out to get to Girl Scout status. I do not do GROUP shit well. Never have. This is why I didn...

Gettin in at 5am after clubbing knowin damn well I gotta go to work tomorrow and then get on a plane, fly to NY and party til 5 all over again. I guarantee that my ass is asleep in the DJ booth tomorrow. SOOOOOO tired. going to rest now. Nap time.

Dear Period: Fuck you. I asked you for one thing. One fucking thing and you couldn't hold me down. Fuck you. You're dead to me.

The NY trip is coming up fast. Not quite sure where the night will take me, but here's what I do know: I have 1.5 beds.... Technically I have a bed and a possible.... (Yes, like a game of spades... I have one definite bed and one possible, just incase I need to get it in immediately and cannot wait til I get to the hotel.) I have set a goal that I plan on accomplish. Shit, he know the deal. We been waitin months... Damn that concierge for not bein open wit condoms. I gotta leave saturday night so, I gotta get in all the debauchin and shoppin before saturday night. My period is due any second PLEASE DEAR GOD HOLD MY PERIOD. MAKE IT LATE. SCARE IT INTO SHOCK OR MAKE THE TRAUMA FROM THAT ACCIDENT STALL THAT HOE. I don't want to lose it for forever. PREGNANCY aint where its at. But just hold it til sunday. PUHLEASE. Or even til saturday night. I cannot bear to wait til Thanksgiving to tap that. I gots oats to sow. And I'm tryin to sow the hell outta them junts This weekend. E...

New Mix from the DJ I been stalking Click for Download List & a word from the DJ T-Pain - bad side Kanye west - Streetlights T-Pain - Phantom Beyonce - Hello Kanye West ft Lil Wayne - Tell everybody that you know T-Pain ft J Timberlake - Cant Believe it rmx Beyonce - Smash into you KANYE WEST FT YOUNG JEEZY-AMAZING!!! Free Download Fuckers!!! :-/ no thanks needed just bump it and stop listening to soulja boy This man keeps my MP3 relevant. no lie. you know I'm old.

Miss yall.... :(

I am in Orlando right now. It is almost impossible to be bothered by anything with weather this nice, though I do believe that this is possibly the Meth Capital of America. Fuck it. I'm just aiming for a tan like George Hamilton.... Flying down, I put on my headphones and blasted off to DJ Xklusive's Libra Mix. Definitely loving this track the most: Feel free to snap up his Beyonce Mix by clicking this link Florida is great. I haven't smoked since I left ATL. I have been sitting around reading Iceberg Slim's book "Pimp"... Great book. That motherfucker shoulda had a call in show... Like ask Weezy. But about pimpin. Really, there are some things that Mr. Slim points out that are Oh So Relevant... Chasin a dude that don't want you is a waste, specially when there's a gaggle of dudes dyin to be where he is and wishin they could just sniff it. In the Illustrious words of Mr. Slim: I celebrate, Bitch, when a whore leaves me. It gives some worthy bitch a ch...

This song has been stuck in my head for a few days now. My entire block is going crazy.... No shootings tonight. Only thing getting shot is fireworks round this bitch. I actually didn't expect to see a black president in my lifetime. This is definitely the beginning of a new era. My dad said "I Can't FUCKIN Believe It?" I can in fact not. I am alil in shock. Very Happy. Very Shocked. Tomorrow should be a fuckin holiday. Happy Obama Day!!!

Megmeg and I went out last night and had a wonderfully intoxicated time. I am now VERYYYY dehydrated. I cannot go into detail about what occurred because my brain is sooooo fucked up at this point that it has gone on strike. My coworker asked me "What's up?" this morning.... My ingenious ass answer - "Good" He just looked at me and said "That's not an acceptable answer to that question. Like at all." Fuck it. I had a conversation about scat, Butt nakedness and auto-erotic asphyxiation. Drunk pictures abounded. Let me say this.... Do not let the drunk chick hold the camera. I got overwhelmed and tucked it into Megmegs boobs. Alot of groundwork got laid last night and at this point i just wanna curl up with my stuffed bunny and sleep off this hurt. I gave quite a few people who didnt need my number my number anyway. Well, it is what it is. Can't send Megmeg to ATL without having a properly fucked up evening... Rough night and I look like a drunk ...

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD DJ XKLUSIVES NEWEST MIX TOLD YOU I WAS STALKING HIM.... It is the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter in someones life. Meg Meg is evacuating DC. and thus we shall club for old times sake. Debauchery shall ensue... but in the meantime... Download the mix....