Whack Dick, Black Mail & Robin Thicke’s Cousin (RANDOMS)

Whack Dick, Black Mail & Robin Thicke’s Cousin

  • At Hampton, there was this guy that was sooooo fine, we just called him “Sex”. Literally. I still don’t know his name. He looked like a mix of Morris Chesnutt and Tank.

  • When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Lawyer. When I was in middle school, I wanted to write trashy romance novels. When I graduated from college, I just wanted a job. Right now, at this very second…. I aspire to be so rich that I can buy and sell people who swear up and down that they can’t be bought. Because everyone has a price and its way more fun buying people who are so self righteous that they feel that they can’t be bought. It’s amusing to watch people break. (That was possibly evil… oh well).

  • Apparently I am a drunk, molesting pervert. Photographs should not be allowed to be taken in the club. EVER. If you email me and ask real nice, I just might post this scandalous ass photo of me acting like ain’t nobody watching what the fuck I’m doing in the club.

  • Also, it has been brought to my attention that yelling out “He did it first!” as justification for grabbing someone’s genitals is not well received. Even if he did grab me first….

  • Gmail chat is the best. That auto save shit comes in real handy when I need to Blackmail and or sue your ass.

    Weird ass shit that was said and/or heard recently:
    1. Don’t make me put you in a box and ship you off to Keyshia Cole’s family.
    2. He is so sexy that if sexy was a disease, that nigga would have SARS.
    3. DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’m Robin Thickes cousin! (what tha fuck?)
    4. I'm not gay but.....(You just might be, if you start a sentence off with this shit.)
    5. I like you. I like your personality. You’re a bitch and I dig that… (Okay?)
    6. No disrespect but you have a very pretty pussy. (ummm Huh?)
    7. I just wanna stop by for the climax.
    8. I need yall to focus so I can go get this dick.
    9. You should fuck Antwaun Jameson for "Dave & Ray.
    10. He looks like he has whack dick.
    11. She is looking quite adventurous.
    12. Everyone should double book bootycalls. If you are seriously committed to getting dick, better to cover all of your bases.
    13. Boo, Bitch! Boooo!
    14. I wanna make love to my dove…(with the hand signals).
    15. Dad! Keep talking that New Age shit and Imma leave your ass here…..


  • I could see fucking a fit 30 year old. Like, there’s a pattern of fitness and upkeep there. But fucking an out of shape dude in his 20 is not a good look. There’s a pattern of lazy there and if that’s what it looks like at 20 imagine what that shit will look like at 30.
    Not Hot.

  • When I’m sick, I get this deep man voice. I like to call people and ask “Can I put my thing in you.”

  • To that dude that is so fine, Imma just call him “Yummy”. You are everywhere like sunshine and I love it.

  • Motown set me up. It gave me completely unrealistic expectations for love and I’m pissed about it. You think I can sue Berry Gordy for mental suffering and anguish. Seriously.


    Most retarded conversation of the week:
    Me: You should come out to Ibiza tonight.
    Random whack dude: Do I have to wear shoes?
    Me: Yes? You have to wear shoes everywhere. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
    Random whack dude: Naw, I mean like real shoes.
    Me: As opposed to the fake shoes that you normally wear?

  • Megan stays getting stalked in my neighborhood by Straight/Gay man with the lisp and numerous other crazies….like the “I'm just tryin to get to know you” guy who, according to Megan had No teeth and therefore probably had no job.

  • Kudos to Kennda…. For having that Aquafina

  • This goes out to all my peeps who wanted to fuck someone for a minute, hit it, realized that junt was WHACK and had to console themselves with the fact that at least they accomplished as goal.

  • I got Myspace recognized on Friday and it was both creepy and sad….. I am not tryin to be a Myspace/Facebook celebrity. That’s mad Lame….

  • Sunday was a pretty decent night. Love, Love Love closing out the club. Love Love Love ronni.

    Booty call rules
    Call at a reasonable hour: Anything after 2 am on a weeknight is stupid. You must not really want this pussy.

    Schedule ahead of time: It might seem tacky but I get busy. If you want to ensure that shit, best to make plans ahead of time.

    Be generous: Because it’s better to give than to receive.

    Keep it quiet: Cuz if you run your mouth, I will hunt you down....

    Don't be late: I hate waiting. A lot.

  • What happens in tha club stays in the club. I am not to be held liable for anything that I say or do after 2 cocktails. You can not hold me responsible 4 that shit. Don’t blame me, blame my chaperone.


  • I think that I must have Bisexual stamped on my forehead, cuz everyone just assumes that shit like I advertise it.

  • I don’t know what Love is. Sex. Sex I get. Insert, thrust, repeat. Not rocket science…. But Love…. That shit is tricky.

    This one is for Megan. Okay, now back to work.

    • Comments

    Hype Bigelow said…
    **Quite the blog indeed. I’m just gonna send a clustered response because I’m not good w/bullets, and frankly, I don’t feel like using them. (OK, changed my mind)
    • I’m not wasting time asking you for the infamous club pic, cuz I’ve paid my dues, you have my e-mail (and I may be in the pic, lol).
    • I swear, women these days are getting more and more bolder with groping in the club (and on the train, lol). It used to be the ass grab on the walk-by with a wink over the shoulder by her afterwards, now I feel like I just might’ve caught an STD fully-clothed. I say if you never held my shit bareback, then you don’t have that privilege. OK, lemme stop fronting, I wish a female was under my desk right now making me feel special.
    • GChat is that crack, and I thought it was for convenience, but you’ve enlightened me some more.
    • I actually have heard/said some of the that weird ass shit quite recently. Are you stalking me?
    • Berry Gordy isn’t at fault for your delusions. That was a totally different generation, and now, hoes, once a rarity, thrive at will, so there’s no love (even with a glove).
    • I was gonna apply to be Megan’s security guard, but I don’t think it would work, since I’m your part-time chaperone.
    • FYI, I need some Aquafina in my life! :-p
    • I lower my expectations on sex due to past/potential whackness. Tired of taking that L, so touche’
    • And as an addendum, Sex = Insert, Thrust (w/rhythm, feeling, etc.), repeat. Boy, I hate lazy!
    29/4/08 8:59 AM
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