Netta coulda been a PCP addict (and been invincible, like Superman)
Netta coulda been a PCP addict (and been invincible, like Superman)
Umm, just trying to give yall some more insight into me….. So here is the shit that I don’t do.
Netta don’t work for free.
Working for free is a dumb bitch move… Like dancing on them poles drunk in the club for no bread. Fuck you; Pay me… words to live by. If I think that you might monetarily profit (now or in the future) from something that is the product of my efforts and I am not getting a dime…. Well we might have serious problems.
I don’t work for free ever… If I did, I wouldn’t respect myself in the morning….
Seriously. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire without: a) getting broke off first and b) making sure there were no video cameras around....
Netta doesn’t eat Sushi off of Naked bitches
Sushi (in and of itself) is questionable and probably parasite laden. Sushi is meant to be cold. Sushi on a warm body, separated from said nude warm body only by a thin ass banana leaf is not what tha fuck is up…. I ain’t trying to die after catch warm seafood dirtyhoeitis….
Netta doesn’t do PCP
Now this one is tricky cuz by all accounts, I should do PCP…
In DARE class, 8th grade, Officer Smiley (I think that was legitimately his name) told us that he was chasing a suspect who was high on PCP. They shot him 9 times and hit him with a car… AND HE WAS STILL GOING… They had to wrestle him to the ground, spray him with pepper spray and handcuff him. The moral of the story: PCP makes you Superman… And who doesn’t want to be like Superman in 8th grade.
Now I know better.
Netta doesn’t respect any superheroes except Batman .
There’s logic behind this one….
Superman is an alien. I am not a fan of aliens, but I digress. Superman is an alien whose superpowers (which are really just his natural physiological attributes) are enhanced by earths yellow sun. If there’s an eclipse… Superman is assed out. And Kryptonite like kills his ass… Plus Metropolis is whack. You can tell that the creator had an idealized view of American cities that I just don’t buy….
Spiderman was a bitch. Everytime you turn around, he is catchin an asswhoopin after getting his powers from a fuck ass radioactive spider. He is weak and crippled by things like love and ethics and morals….
But Batman….. Batman has no super power except the power of being pissed. He has no kryptonite, no Achilles heel. Only thing that could stop Batman is years of therapy. Cuz he is a pissed off maladjusted motherfucker. Batman has the type of anger that can only come from intense childhood trauma. He could have become a herion addict or a serial killer but instead, he takes out his anger on villains and its awesome. Not to mention that even if he wasn’t a Superhero, he’s still a baller. A baller with a nice car and washboard abs. Batman could totally get it.
Netta don’t love them hoes.
I just don’t
Netta doesn’t hang out with Jim Jones.
I don’t give a fuck if he is at the club. He looks like he has a curable STD (like Chlamydia or something.) True he is dirtysexy… But naw… Imma pass on that shit…. Chlamydia having motherfucker.
Netta don’t give a fuck
She recognizes that you don’t give a damn, but She don’t give a fuck and that trumps you not giving a damn any day.
Netta don't tell the whole truth.
You think these stories that I tell are outlandish......
Yo, they're edited. I edit to protect my ass legally, I edit to protect the innocent, I edit cuz my Dad reads this and I don't want all the sordid details burning his retinas.
I don't even tell my therapist the whole truth. All that shit might blow his mind, real talk.
Netta don't do Prenups
That's like signin a paper that states that you can fuck me for several years and then fuck me over.....
Naw, I was good with the first fucking.... Ill pass on the ass raping.
I don't believe in divorce anyway....
I think of marriage like this:
You fall in love and then you look at the business aspect. If it makes sense you get married. If not you shack act up. If gettin married don't make sense, why bother? And if we (as 2 business people engaged in a legally binding contract that governs the distribution of property) decided to get married, I would assume that we had sufficient financial incentive to do so. Why get divorced!!!
If we get divorced, prenup or not, max I'm getting is half and half of all future earnings (cuz imma get a good lawyer).... If we stay married I get to keep 100 percent. Why would I willing to fuck myself out of 50 percent of what's yours (aka mines)....
Netta don't confess.
Ever. That shit, confession, really don't pay good.
My coworker and I were arguing this shit today. I told her "I don't snitch".
Then she brought up that 2 criminals game theory example:
2 criminals are being interrogated. They are separated. Now if neither criminals confess, they both go free. If both confess, they both go to jail. If only one confesses, the "snitch" goes free, the non-snitch gets looked up. My coworker said that I'd be the one gettin locked up. I explained to her these few facts:
So, in conclusion… I ain’t going to jail. Fuck that shit. and if they are dead, I get to keep all the loot. Win/Win. (from my perspective at least.
Netta doesn’t call anyone named Dave by solely their first name.
I call them by their last names mostly.
There are entirely too many Daves. I think I know at least 8. At first, gave them numbers but they always got mad and said “I am not Dave #_____, I am Dave # 1.” The numbering system was not about preference but chronology….I got tired of hearing that shit and just switched to last names…. I think that they think it is a cute nickname. It isn’t. There’s just too many of yall motherfuckers.
Netta doesn’t practice risk aversion.
I take rides, pills, candy, food and alcoholic beverages from strangers. The moderator at group is concerned that Imma get raped and killed. Quite possibly. I’m working on developing risk aversion. I figured id be dead by now anyway so at this point, why worry… Its just borrowed time anyway.
Ok. I’m tired. I think I’m sick. Lotus Nightclub. Check it out. This and every Thursday.
Umm, just trying to give yall some more insight into me….. So here is the shit that I don’t do.
Netta don’t work for free.
Working for free is a dumb bitch move… Like dancing on them poles drunk in the club for no bread. Fuck you; Pay me… words to live by. If I think that you might monetarily profit (now or in the future) from something that is the product of my efforts and I am not getting a dime…. Well we might have serious problems.
I don’t work for free ever… If I did, I wouldn’t respect myself in the morning….
Seriously. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire without: a) getting broke off first and b) making sure there were no video cameras around....
Netta doesn’t eat Sushi off of Naked bitches
Sushi (in and of itself) is questionable and probably parasite laden. Sushi is meant to be cold. Sushi on a warm body, separated from said nude warm body only by a thin ass banana leaf is not what tha fuck is up…. I ain’t trying to die after catch warm seafood dirtyhoeitis….
Netta doesn’t do PCP
Now this one is tricky cuz by all accounts, I should do PCP…
In DARE class, 8th grade, Officer Smiley (I think that was legitimately his name) told us that he was chasing a suspect who was high on PCP. They shot him 9 times and hit him with a car… AND HE WAS STILL GOING… They had to wrestle him to the ground, spray him with pepper spray and handcuff him. The moral of the story: PCP makes you Superman… And who doesn’t want to be like Superman in 8th grade.
Now I know better.
Netta doesn’t respect any superheroes except Batman .
There’s logic behind this one….
Superman is an alien. I am not a fan of aliens, but I digress. Superman is an alien whose superpowers (which are really just his natural physiological attributes) are enhanced by earths yellow sun. If there’s an eclipse… Superman is assed out. And Kryptonite like kills his ass… Plus Metropolis is whack. You can tell that the creator had an idealized view of American cities that I just don’t buy….
Spiderman was a bitch. Everytime you turn around, he is catchin an asswhoopin after getting his powers from a fuck ass radioactive spider. He is weak and crippled by things like love and ethics and morals….
But Batman….. Batman has no super power except the power of being pissed. He has no kryptonite, no Achilles heel. Only thing that could stop Batman is years of therapy. Cuz he is a pissed off maladjusted motherfucker. Batman has the type of anger that can only come from intense childhood trauma. He could have become a herion addict or a serial killer but instead, he takes out his anger on villains and its awesome. Not to mention that even if he wasn’t a Superhero, he’s still a baller. A baller with a nice car and washboard abs. Batman could totally get it.
Netta don’t love them hoes.
I just don’t
Netta doesn’t hang out with Jim Jones.
I don’t give a fuck if he is at the club. He looks like he has a curable STD (like Chlamydia or something.) True he is dirtysexy… But naw… Imma pass on that shit…. Chlamydia having motherfucker.
Netta don’t give a fuck
She recognizes that you don’t give a damn, but She don’t give a fuck and that trumps you not giving a damn any day.
Netta don't tell the whole truth.
You think these stories that I tell are outlandish......
Yo, they're edited. I edit to protect my ass legally, I edit to protect the innocent, I edit cuz my Dad reads this and I don't want all the sordid details burning his retinas.
I don't even tell my therapist the whole truth. All that shit might blow his mind, real talk.
Netta don't do Prenups
That's like signin a paper that states that you can fuck me for several years and then fuck me over.....
Naw, I was good with the first fucking.... Ill pass on the ass raping.
I don't believe in divorce anyway....
I think of marriage like this:
You fall in love and then you look at the business aspect. If it makes sense you get married. If not you shack act up. If gettin married don't make sense, why bother? And if we (as 2 business people engaged in a legally binding contract that governs the distribution of property) decided to get married, I would assume that we had sufficient financial incentive to do so. Why get divorced!!!
If we get divorced, prenup or not, max I'm getting is half and half of all future earnings (cuz imma get a good lawyer).... If we stay married I get to keep 100 percent. Why would I willing to fuck myself out of 50 percent of what's yours (aka mines)....
Netta don't confess.
Ever. That shit, confession, really don't pay good.
My coworker and I were arguing this shit today. I told her "I don't snitch".
Then she brought up that 2 criminals game theory example:
2 criminals are being interrogated. They are separated. Now if neither criminals confess, they both go free. If both confess, they both go to jail. If only one confesses, the "snitch" goes free, the non-snitch gets looked up. My coworker said that I'd be the one gettin locked up. I explained to her these few facts:
- Did we discuss it before hand?
Not before we got into the interrogation room..... Before you did the crime, motherfucker..... - Did I remember to threaten to kill that motherfucker if they snitched?
Really?
Did I make it clear that I would gut that motherfucker if they told my motherfucking business? Seriously. - Did we leave the interrogation room?
Cuz if so, that motherfucker won't make it to court. Dead. - Even if we do make it to court, if all they have is accomplice testimony, they aint got shit. Imma have my lawyer offer an incredibly plausible alternative theory of the crime and Imma walk….
So, in conclusion… I ain’t going to jail. Fuck that shit. and if they are dead, I get to keep all the loot. Win/Win. (from my perspective at least.
Netta doesn’t call anyone named Dave by solely their first name.
I call them by their last names mostly.
There are entirely too many Daves. I think I know at least 8. At first, gave them numbers but they always got mad and said “I am not Dave #_____, I am Dave # 1.” The numbering system was not about preference but chronology….I got tired of hearing that shit and just switched to last names…. I think that they think it is a cute nickname. It isn’t. There’s just too many of yall motherfuckers.
Netta doesn’t practice risk aversion.
I take rides, pills, candy, food and alcoholic beverages from strangers. The moderator at group is concerned that Imma get raped and killed. Quite possibly. I’m working on developing risk aversion. I figured id be dead by now anyway so at this point, why worry… Its just borrowed time anyway.
Ok. I’m tired. I think I’m sick. Lotus Nightclub. Check it out. This and every Thursday.
Comments
If one knows people who would do that... Get new friends. U a G cause u'll take the responsibilty, but u shouldn't be allowed to.