Bomb ass pussy that will give you diabetes.....

I am busy. This week sucked alot. These are randoms that I wrote mostly last night, while drunk and tired. Enjoy or don't. I is hung over and I care not how you feel...

• I feel like "How Netta got her groove back". Grinnin from ear to ear.
  
  
• A strong man doesn't need constant adoration and is capable of constructive criticism from their mate.
  
  
• I’m not about second chances. You give a Fuck boy a second chance and they run with that shit. Seriously. When you constantly date the worst of the worst, Nick calls that shit “Fuck Boy syndrome”
  
  
• I am lovin the Real World awards. Its like flashing back into time and watching all the shit I ain’t seen in a minute. Coral just got roommate you love to hate award and thanked Jesus. Awesome!
  
  
• The other day, I wanted to tattoo “Bomb ass pussy” on my left butt cheek, cuz I got problems.
  
  
• Everyone needs a catch phrase. Mine is “Pussy so sweet, you catch diabetes fucking wit me.”
  
  
• You gotta know where your heart is. I can't be trickin off with yall fuck boy hoe ass dudes when I like a good dude that be havin me talkin in a falsetto. Can't turn yall trick ass dudes into house wives. Know yo place.
  
  
• When Hip hop goes wrong…..
  When my coworker asks me to “Drop Down and get my eagle on”
  
  When that same coworker asks me to throw on my “Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the fur and get low”…
  
  No Heather. I will not “Get Low”.
  
  
• Also, When rappers sing, it just ain’t right.
  Repeat offenders:
  50 cent (Curtis, “Follow my Lead” was sooo very gay….)
  Kanyeze (Just stop)
  Diddy (You off key homie)
  Nelly (What the fuck were you thinking?)
  & who can forget Ja Rule……
  
  
• I needs me a breakfast sammich.
  
  
• Emotionally conflicted men are weird. Yall need a shrink. Holla. Ill hook you up with my dude. He say deep shit. For instance: My shrink says I date assholes because it’s easier than having real intimacy with someone. He is smart and that is why I pay him……
  
  
• I likes my mens Classy and Sassy. Not Trashy and Ashy……
  
  
• If I ain’t seent u in over a month I probably won't see you no more..... Cuz as always, I keeps it movin
  
  
• I'm actually starting to learn from my mistakes. Took a while (and by
  a while I mean 25 years)
  
  
• Any Given Sunday is an excellent movie. Cuz it really is a game of inches.
  
  
• Yo, I was mad independent last night. I bought my own drinks and was able to dodge and avoid asinine conversations wit stank breath 1 and short delusional Indian guy who thought he was cute and told me his name was “Snoop Dogg”....
  
  
• I’m a motherfuckin dime. I’m smart as hell, fine as shit, independent as a motherfucker and anytime I let someone touch me who can't recognize that shit, well that's the equivalent of downgrading myself. Step off…
  
  
• I am unique and irreplaceable. If you think you can swap me out with Tall light skin chick version 2.0… feel free. Them chicks have defects and bug, like Windows Vista. Check yourself. Play me to the side like I'm 2nd or 3rd choice and you’ll regret it cuz I’m always No. 1. Always.
  
  
• I just gotta let all yall motherfuckers know that this is my motherfuckin city. Don't shit slip past me. I know damn near everyone. If you don't know, you better ask somebody. Trick is (stick wit me, its bout to get alil complicated....) I know what you don't know I know! (Read it twice if you just confused yourself). That shit you think I'm dumb to, Fuck you. I know that shit. Don't sleep on me. I got hot grits on speed dial.
  
  
• I do not chase. I replace. I do not back track and I don't double dip. I am not about leftovers. I use, abuse and pass off. And once I pass, that's a wrap. Done. You’re tainted and used now and I no longer want you.
  
  
• I am roaming the world, believing in things bigger than myself and knowing that God is taking care of it and that I don't need to be worried.
  
  
• I am watchin others make the same mistakes that I did, gently telling them so and shaking my head with a soft smile on my lips when they do not listen, knowing that they will learn in time…..
  
  
• Usher stays makin music that I wanna make babies to
  
  
• When I get stressed out I lose my appetite. I am stressed out. I've lost like 5 pounds. I feel like one of those Bratz dolls, wit a big ass head and a lil ass stick body…. And cute clothes. Really cute clothes.
  
  See my trench, love my trench.
  
  
• I am learning to stay very far away from alcoholics. If you can’t do it the way I like it, sober, don't fuckin bother.
  
  
• I LOVE the following rap lyrics.:
  
  
  1. He's so sweet, make me wanna lick the wrapper. (So true. So sweet make
     me wanna suck the wrapper!)
     
     
  2. Dear Summer: Dear summer, I know you gon' miss me, For we been together like Nike Airs and crisp tees (you gotta know when to say goodbye…)
     
     
  3. I love you like pussy money weed. PUSSY MONEY WEED! PUSSY MONEY WEED! PUSSY MONEY WEED! (You can never say the words pussy, money or weed too many times. Ever.)
  
  
  
• My week was bittersweet. WORK SUCKED ASS. But personally, my week was
  great. “How Netta got her groove back.”
  
  
• On Wednesday, my home girl asked me to dance with her on a pole in the club. I find this hilarious because anyone who knows me knows that I don't do that shit.
  
  
  1. If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense. Seriously.
     
  2. If I'm making more than one penis hard, in public none the less, its gonna cost somebody something.
     
  3. I'm a college graduate. I ain't gettin on poles 4 no one unless I got mouths to feed or a whole lot of bills (I have neither).
  
  
  Fuck that shit. I'm not the one.
  
  
• I was so tired this week, I contemplated crack rocks. I hope to sleep so hard this weekend that motherfuckers get worried and call the cops.
  
  
• Everything sounds better if you throw a rhyme up in that bitch…

Been a lil busy... Still ain't get laid in this bitch, but it's cool. Im waitin on something. Delaying gratification ain't easy.... but its worth it.