Trust, Lies and the Naked girl on the couch.

Ms. Skittle is on vacation in jersey this week. Laying around. Napping with the cat. Looking at houses and GRE words. Reading old ass L. J. Smith novels and thinking about the nature of relationships.

Jskittle is ready to settle down. Nice house, Normal guy (not these hood rats, or club rats, or dudes with their heads in the streets).

I said it before, I'll say it again:
You have to know how to recognize the difference between a boy and a man. A man pays bills, takes care of home first, shows respect and understands the value of commitment. A boy runs up bills, comes home only to sleep and eat, talks out the side of his neck and is only seriously committed to his dick and his mama.


I know what I want. I need someone who knows what they want too. I've lived. I've seen what I need to see.

I did one of those "answer things about me" junts and Eve said that the song that most reminded her of me was "Area codes". Can't disagree with that. My ex in WV once said that my Pussy was internationally known. I wish.

My vagina has only seen the east coast, and has hardly had a chance to make a name for itself. I ain't even took my pussy on a sightseeing trip to the west coast. If I did, I'd have taken myself on a mission to find the best penis EVER!

In my experience the best dick has always been held by crazy assholes.

And if we are to properly speak on assholes with huge penises, we must speak of Cleve.

Cleve had a big ass dick.

Now, I never had sex with Cleve. I've never even seen his penis. Actually I dated his boy... But Cleve is the same dude who told me that if I was gonna date his boy, I needed to "speak into the Mic". Yeah.

Cleve was "Classy". I saw Cleve get a plate of food and two 40's from this female. She was a townie. She rode up to HU and through security to bring him a plate of food and two 40s. Cleve said thanks and dipped. That was Cleve.

That's how he rolled and just as the elevators were closin, she said "Cleve you ain't shit."

That lanky motherfucker stuck out his hand to keep the door from closin, "FUCK U SAY?"

"I said, you ain't shit, Cleve!" She repeated to which Cleve just chuckled and let them doors close. Cleve. I'd bet my down payment money on the fact that he had a big ass dick.

He got kicked off Hampton's basketball team for smokin weed and fuckin a Hawaiian flight attendant. But that big dick motherfucker is still getting free flights to where the fuck ever he pleases. That's that shit right there.

It's the personification of swag. Its about knowing you have a huge dick. Knowing you can do whatever the fuck u want.

Anywho, Had I taken my vagina on a world tour, 1st stop would been Cleves boxer briefs.... But there really is no need.

I've seen long, short, thick, thin, left, right, ones that point up and down. Even circumcised and uncircumcised.

I've even developed a fairly decent estimation system. It's based on personality, physical characteristics and the look in your left eye. The left eye is tricky like that. I noticed that if you look really closely, you can see someones confidence falter. It's lightning quick but it's there and if you watch closely enough and you catch it at the right time, you can shift the balance of power in a relationship... but that's beside the point. In the last 2 years... only one penis surprised me. Only one. seriously. Though it was a pleasant surprise. :D

Anything in your pants is probably not going to shock the shit out of me. It just isn't. And at this point, if I'm not feeling you, if I don't trust you.... My vagina can't even be boothered. I'd rather nap. Fuck it.

I guess relationships are like a glass of water. When you first meet, the glass of water is clear, fresh and just poured. The longer the glass sits out.... The more flecks of dirt end up in the glass.

Dirt like drama, complications and mistrust. You can even bring in a fuckin Brita filter... Once that glass is tainted, it's real hard to refresh that shit. Sometimes you just gotta pour it out and start from scratch....

I guess I'm dealing with a "naked girl on the couch" scenario.

Something someone told me isn't quite adding up and I loathe being lied to. That shit disturbs my soul. If you're going to lie, lie well, or dont bother. And at 26, I'm just too old to be bothered. If I have to lie, I'd rather just break it off. It's a matter of my character being more important to me than your feelings. And if I honestly cared that much to lie, perhaps I should have cared enough to not transgress in the first place.


It's like this line from a movie:
Ya know cuz you'll do anything for someone you love, except love them again. ...


I feel the same way about trust. I've spent entire relationships trying to get back to the innocence and honesty that was lost within the first month. Sometimes, when it's gone, it's gone. You can only break a vase and glue it back together so many times before you start coming up short a few pieces here and there...

And all in all, the bullshit really is in the details. And when the details on the front end... Don't match up on the back end.... Boooooo.

It is what it is. Once you lose the trust that I gave you freely... The water just got dirty. And all the Brita in the world ain't gonna make it crystal clear again.

I'm not about the "rara" talk right now. All the "Fuck him girl, fuck him... He aint shit" type talk. Oh no.

So, sitting around, talking about how I think you lied ain't really relevant. Cuz if I think you lied (especially when you had no reason to even sully your character like that) all tha "Baby, naw! It wasn't even like that" statements won't make a difference. You already fumbled. Flag on the play.

Reality doesn't matter. What's real is that I don't trust you anymore.

Maybe I'm just askin too much. Maybe you never get the truth. Perhaps the fact of the matter is this: The best boyfriends are bad liars....

That way I know when your lying outright and I don't have to waste my time. Or shit maybe if you're a horrible liar, you just won't bother.

"Dick should be hard but not difficult"


Question of the day for all yall mens:
The last 3 men that I slept with had no hair.

No chest, back, pubes... Nada.

So the question is...
If you're over 23 and you have no hair- What method are you using to keep your sac hairless? Nair, razor, clippers or other? What tha deal?

Tips I got from my hair dresser on saturday
(I already knew these but you gotta share the wealth)
  • Beware of men that brag.
    A man who has his own... Don't need to brag. And all these songs about "She got her own" need to kick rocks. All the females I know have their own. It's the men that've been slippin lately. Real talk.

  • Don't let him leave his draws.
    Girl, that's about a half a step from movin in. 1st its a pair of drawers. Then some jeans, and some shoes... A tooth brush, one of them razors and shit. Next thing you know, he got his puppy living in your pantry and has claimed your parkin pass.

  • Look at the shoes and nails.
    Cuz if he is braggin about what he got, the shoes and the nails will let you know what's up. People might invest in a flashy watch but a smart man knows to invest in a good shoe.


Thats all I got.

Comments

Unknown said…
That glass of water statement... im feelin that.
A said…
feeling the same way lately

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