Brelon "the Man" Jones and Bald headed Marie....

I wanted to share with you the WORST BOOK I EVER READ.

It is called "Secrets Men Keep: What They Don't Tell" by Tiy-E
Umm it is bad, but the worst part of all is this section on light skinned privilege and dark skinned discrimination. Important subject matter but horribly handled through bullshit anecdotes.

Let me set you up here: (all sections Bolded and Italicized will be me summarizing. Everything in quotes and normal looking... Direct from the book.)
Brelon Jones plays some kinda sport professionally. He is dark skinned and apparently has issues. Marie is his very light skinned girlfriend. They are both shallow, stupid and hot tempered)

"Brelon loves you girl. You know that don’t you?"

"Of course, Brelon. I know that you love me and I love you too."

"What is it that you love about me Marie?"

"I love the fact that you are a real man, and not many men can state that claim."

"What do you mean ‘I am a real man’?"

"You’re tall, dark and handsome, just the way a man should be. And I love the fact that you are six years my senior."

"What does age have to do with anything?"

"Well Brelon, because I am only twenty-three and you are twenty-nine, the world has seen a lot more of you than they have of me. You have six years of knowledge, wisdom and understanding that makes you the complete man. I have only my good looks to offer and a peon of intelligence. Look at you Brelon. Any woman would love to be with you, the muscles alone would drive any woman to drink. What about you Brelon what make you love me the way that you do?"

“You are the prettiest woman in the entire world and you are all mine”

Then she goes on to ask “No really. Why?" Blah blah Blah and he goes on this diatribe about when light skinned dudes where in and he couldn’t get a woman to look at him for shit.

Then she goes “I don’t get it” to which he further explains himself. Then she bemoans lookin almost white. (Honestly I felt like I was reading a shitty version of "The Bluest Eye", minus depth, insight and the incest part.)

Then Brelon calls all dark skinned women “grouchy and bitchy as hell”

Then he says “Enough of all of this talking about tar babies and almost white people. Let’s go to the bedroom and make wild butt-naked love”

“Okay, Brelon you are the man.”

Rough sex ensues. Here is just a snippet.. Im at work bout to get fired fuckin round wit this book.

“Fuck me, Fuck me, you big black Kalamazoo James Brown, Chaka Zulu motherfucka.”

Brelon & Marie get it on

“Would you like for me to cum all over your pretty white ass?

“Yeah! Baby spray me with your black gun that releases those Ivory bullets”.

Orgasm achieved and segway to “the fight.”

Brelon asks Marie why she calls him “black” during sex. She apologizes. He says he was offended.

Then it all goes wrong

“I didn’t get offended, Brelon when you referred to my ass as being white…".. Blah blah blah. I do admit I am light, but I am not white. And if you are looking for a white woman you are looking in the wrong place.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Marie? I thought we were having a peaceful conversation, and all of a sudden you are going off on a tangent.”

And they fight

“Fuck you, Brelon. I am not going off on a tangent. I just sat there and listened to your emotional bullshit, and you expect me not to have any feelings of my own. I am human, if you did not notice.

“Marie, don’t make me raise up from this bed.”

“Raise your black ass up and do what Brelon? You are just like all the rest of those tired ass nigger, hopin and prayin to have a white woman on your arms. ….”

Apparently Brelon has had enough….

“I told you not to make me raise up from this bed, and now you leave me no choice. Come here you stupid white bitch.”

"Let go of my hair …."

Domestic violence ensues and he kicks out Marie and call up Kelly… See below….

Brelon decides to spend time trickin off with Kelly

Next thing you know, Brelon is fielding a call from Marie. She begs for his forgiveness and everyone speaks in the 3rd person a lot.

Marie begs for forgiveness like a punk bitch

Brelon lays down the law….

Brelon Makes rules. Cuz he's the man



They schedule to go out to dinner. Brelon is late, cuz he forgot to set his watch and the time changed. He gets there and compliments Marie on her outfit and then inquires as to whether she is wearin a wig. She got a hair cut and apparently Brelon ain't too motherfuckin pleased….

Brelon Hates her hair and proceeds to call her bald headed. Marie tells him to Fuck off.

Brelon calls her bald headed on numerous occasions.

Brelon dips and threatens to call the cops.

Brelon threatens to have Marie arrested or some shit. Then 2 months later Brelon's bitch ass comes crawlin back. He promises to Love honor and obey and shit and asks her out to some kinda sports formal event thing. When they get there, the other players are laughing and calling her bald headed. Brelon's superficial bitch ass cant take it.



Marie tells Brelon to go to hell.

As bad as this book was.... I still had to buy a copy. It is, by far the funniest shit I have ever read. Real talk.