B-day (Fuck the world)

This is where I'm at right now: Honestly, I'm mad. It is B-day. Not my motherfuckin birthday, no no no. It's biopsy day.

At this point, I'm mad. Boobs used to be fun. Now boobs are deadly. Like they killin motherfuckers.

Where I'm at right now, is that, I'm tired. I'm tired of boobs killin people, I'm tired of being sad, I'm real tired of motherfuckers who said they'd be there and then motherfuckin weren't....

But all in all, I'm pissed. And I'm off some fuck you shit. Like if it aint about my peoples gettin better or being okay..... Fuck you.

That's where tha fuck I'm at.
In the words of Fight Club (the movie, not the book).
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke....... I felt like destroying something beautiful.


I feel like setting the Mona Lisa on fire, stomping on daisies and bombing all of the 7 world wonders.
Fuck the world.

  • We went out last night and I realized this:

    I have no real vodka tolerance. I know what tequila drunk feels like. I see it coming.

    A Vodka drunk sneaks up on me. Then I be real drunk. I managed to find a 21 year old to hollar at last night. Wtf am I supposed to do with that?

    But then I topped myself on that shit. On the way out the door, I booked.....

    Wait for it. Wait for it.

    A 20 year old. I don't even know how he got up in the club..... But I sho gave him my number.....

    Could be fun. Take em out, and can't go but to 18 and up nights. All up in the club talkin bout - I'd buy you a drink but you know you only 20 boy. If it all works out, Imma start stalkin college nights.

  • I often write about my exes. Honestly, I think that sometimes the blog that is written as a result of the bullshit ass relationship is WAY better than the actual relationship. Apparently the writing of what happened has a way of pissing people off....yet yall still reading it regularly... which I never will understand. If something offends me, I tend to avoid it. Whatever. Don't be insulted. Be honored. My exes ought to all consider themselves my muses. You all inspire me.

    If you know me, you will probably end up in my blog. I will do you this one courtesy: You can pick your own Psuedonym. I will honor what you pick, so long as it makes sense and isn't anything crazy like "Big black dick slinger..."

  • Killa Season is an extra shitty movie. Extra shitty.



Ps. Ashley says hi!

Comments

Ms. Burt said…
Moms is going to do fine... this is life saving. It would be worse without this. I know that doesn't make it easier, but hopefully it gives some hope and minor piece of peace. I love you and am here. I know what it's like to be scared for mom, if you need me call me. Love you
22/12/08 6:47 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Recap with my Shrink and a Declaration of Singledom

I woke up this morning real sadlike. I woke up knowing that I would have to do something very difficult today. I was going to have to break up with my therapist.... Or at the very least stagger my appointments. See, my job changed my health care. The new shitty ass health care that they gave me is taken by virtually no one. Exhilarating. And right before xmas. Merry fucking xmas. I heart sanity and shit but I cannot afford to spend 2K a year to keep it. When I first walked into his office, I couldn't articulate what was wrong. I was upset but I couldn't say why. Nothing was wrong but Nothing was right either. I was extremely depressed. My gyno recommended that I take up jogging. Tip: When very depressed, do not attempt to jog as a remedy. It is impossible to jog while sobbing. (I speak from personal experience.) He took time. Never questioned me. Waited for me to learn to trust him and take down my guard. He never lectures and never judges. And He helped me immensely in ways t...
Read more

At least I still have my shoes.... (HU Homecoming Recap)

Image
I gotta start off with these lyrics.... They are SOOOO applicable. Trust. John Legend - Green Light So I went hard like Medusa staring at me I told her let's go, let's blow this lame nigga factory She said, What type of girl do you think I are The kind that you meet in a bar You think you can get whatever you want cause you some kinda star No I'm a comet I just want you woman Hey, If I were you then It would be me that I go home with 3, the one and only One thing you ain't considered I heard you when you told your girl "ooo he can get it" Admit it You did it Let's hop a cab and split it I'm kiddin We both going to where you livin Fuckin HU Homecoming Weekend. Wooooow. First off, we were running around like crazy. My dopamine was bananas. Seriously. I was so excited. Dan got the tickets midday and I started to tingle off break cuz I knew this had the potential to be the best night at LOVE, EVER!!!! And it was. Dan scoops me, and I am running late as alw...
Read more

My heart vs. My head (Plus Haters, Hoe friends & Fluke bitches)

After getting back from NJ and seeing my dad, who is now out of the hospital with pending cardiologist visits, I have been bogged down with work, sleep, colds and the guy I like. I have also been slightly torn between what I feel I "should" say to him vs. what actually has a need to be verbalized in our current situation. We ain't got no rings... and no commitments (though we do get along well). The sex is.... Well just watch the video: Now, we haven't discussed exclusivity. I don't think there is an expectation that my vagina is strictly for him and tho I haven't slept with anyone else yet, a much welcome friend should be reemerging within the next week. I think we are functioning on a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He don’t seem to want to ask, so I don’t really intend on telling. All I know is this: My heart says one thing... (like perhaps if I care about the sanctity and purity of this situation, I should keep my vag to myself.) My vagin...
Read more