Dick, Brunch and Bubblegum, in that order.... (The Dj must be Psychic)

It was a weekend of random.

Apparently, if you attended Hampton, even if you were only there for one day and got kicked of for fighting and had to be “Out by 5”…. You will reunite with Hamptonians from across the world, sporadically. This weekend proved that all Hampton people are fitted with Hampton Homing devices that alert us to and draw us toward one another. Friday Erian appeared in town. A big bottle of Hennessey appeared in my fridge and our asses appeared at Union station to scoop Miss Kali herself.

First off, Friday and Love night club don’t so much mix. We were all tired and slightly off kilter. But as always, Love is like a family reunion.

Harry Hotter was spinning on the first floor and as always, that shit was hitting.


Him and his fro could get it. That motherfucker is a good ass DJ. Roomie said that he's certain Harry gets a shitload of pussy cuz of that fro. I told roomie that he deserves every inch of pussy he falls into.

Analyze was there but strangely was in the booth with Tigger rather than doin the DJ thing. Money was on the 3rd which was good because I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever.

Scott and Bj…. Alil evil. Kamikazes are not a good mix on top of Tequila.



Liquid Evil

We kept on losing Erian and I kept on hitting on Dee the bouncer. Cuz I likes em young and marine like. Sure marines are crazy but shit…. He got 2 jobs. I normally date crazy motherfuckers wit no job. This is definitely an upgrade.

Got a drink spilled on me. Ran into these three chicks in the bathroom while doing cleanup duty.


The middle one in the blue invited me to visit Cali with her.

Tried to find Erian. Ran into The guy from Shy magazine in the 3rd floor pool room and took this photo.



Notice the “Gaze o Drunkeness” in my eye.

The night was very random. I’m pretty sure somebody was kissin. I’m very sure that it weren’t me. (Actually got clarification on this: Random guy was following Erian around. Erian said Kennda was her girlfriend. They kissed to give some validity to this story... In the words of Kennda "No tongue. But the dude was stalkin... Had to swoop n and save."

We went home. Ate food. Realized just how drunk I was. Fell unconscious.

Saturday

Woke up at 8 am ish… That was not okay. Erian kept on rambling bout some Crepes. Watched Mahogany. Decided the following:

1. I'd still fuck Billy Dee. Even if he offered me Colt 45. I'd drink that shit. yeah...
   
   
2. Diana Ross Can't Fuckin Act.

Then we watched Souljah girl. Wit. Captions. Oh My God. We have been doing Souljah girl all day… still are.



I am sure that the entire community of Glenwood denies raping that crazy bitch.

It still hurts when I watch it. I’m cryin right now.

Shopping occurred. So did the efforts to overcome hangovers. Victory was ours.

Saw Bootsy Collins look alike. See photos Below:




Please make note of the button that says: “I am an Alcoholic. In case of Accident, Get me a beer” I am not surprised by this declaration in the least….

We hung out with the world’s cutest little boy who had an affinity for truck. And Buses. And SUVs. And hated statues. We ate at Potbelly’s. We wander the monumented area. This did not go over excellently, cuz he really hates statues.


Lookit. Cuteness loves him some trucks

The little one got chilly so we got him a hoodie. That shit got stuck on his dome and the Chinese lady who sold it to us was like "He has a big head." He was like "My jacket. Bye" and was done! It was a wrap. That's when he saw it... 2 buses. It was Christmas and Disney land and Lego land all wrapped up in one. That shit was bananas.

We went by the White House and saw the sniper on the roof. This is him scared of the White House:



We ended up asleep by like 10. And though I'd said I didn't know if kids were for me, the company of that little boy transformed me into a punk bitch. Ask Kennda if you don't believe me.

His father came to pick him up and after the swap off, Kennda came back in and told me bout the guy who'd accompanied her homeboy. Apparently he was actin like he couldn't speak, though Kennda recognized him from HU. Passed out.

Sunday
Woke up the next mornin kinda early. Got up and got the hell out to get some crepes. Breakfast was fuckin awesome. We read metro weekly to figure out what was poppin for sunday and to get our horoscopes.

First Kenndas:

tee hee hee.... Kennda Gave at the office... Kennda put out at home....

Then Erians:

Man up and RIDE OUT!!!

Lastly mine:

See dick run? Run dick run?

Wow horoscope. You's a freak. Imma make a point to read you more often...

Headed over to Eastern market. I bought a bowl (I like bowls cuz my food can't run.....), eggplant (to eat out of my new bowl) and charcoal (for my hookah so I could smoke hookah after I eat my eggplant outta my motherfuckin bowl). We looked for sage. We had no luck. Erian and I decide that we want more crepe in our lives, so we get on the crepe line and while pontificating on her crepe options, she caught an ass whoopin from a dog in a cast who rolled over her foot. He was sick of her listing all her crepe options. We head home after searchin in vain for a Hardees and then a nonbammafied Popeyes.

Erian had to go so we hug her goodbye. See my neighbor who likes me but has a pregnant girlfriend. (I ain’t even fuckin with that old bullshit. If circumstances were different, they'd be different, but they aren't, so they aren't. He said that though he ain’t unhappy, he also don't think he is as happy as he could be. Wtf? Like Erian says "Shit! I'm just aimin for contentment." And ain’t that the truth....)

E left and Kennda’s homie came to get us to head out to the outliers of Maryland.

They knew each other from Hampton and are extra close. Then we were headed out to someone elses house.... Apparently Kenndas homies friends house.

We drive up and I'm like "This can't be where I think...." But it was... We were at Senor Famous's House.... Apparently Famous was the friend who was in the front seat and couldnt speak....

Hmmm small world...

We study Gre shit (VOCAB 4 Life) and Dip... Kennda and I decide randomly to go to "The Park".




Umm debauchary ensues again. Every time we turn around, it's someone new from Hampton.

Randomness:

• Saw Kennda's friend Ron. We told him about Bootsy. He also had a picture of that motherfucker. Apparently he gets around.
  
  
• Ran into the same guy from Layla who poured me the "Red Bull/Rose" Cocktail. He reiterated that he love my toe game.... Then he offered to give me "Dick, Brunch and Bubble gum, in that order".... Hmmm tempting.... but no..
  
  
• Hmm one random Hampton guy told me that I "could have whatever I like"... I told him that I'd like another fucking Tequila sunrise.
  
  Then he asked if he could call me tomorrow. "Why?" I asked.
  
  "So we can talk about me fucking you." He replied.
  
  "I'm sorry. Did you just asy you wanted me to sit on your face? cuz thats all I'm tryin to hear right now. Gotta go." (I'm Still an asshole.)
  
  
• Kennda kept tellin me to leave cuz I had to work. Fuck that. We closed out the club. We do that.
  
  
• Dan and I end up in the DJ section with Money and Rara. RaRa is the best MC in all of DC. on my twat. He killed it. and Money... That motherfucker must be psychic. cuz everything that he played. Everything was my fucking Jam. I even rocked out to Poison.... And normally that song makes me drink. Heavily.
  
  
• I gave 1 guy my number because he used the word "Alacrity" correctly.
  
  
• The thought of doing anything more than casual dating scares the shit out of me.
  
  
• Ran into the Same Fucking Shy Magazine photographer. Took this...
  
  
  Much Better!
  
  
• Fine "Marine-Commando" Bouncer was there. I like. I like...
  
  
• Walking outside Dan says "WHere tha fuck did I park My car...?" Not a good Question....

Went Home. Passed the fuck out. Wanted to die. Alot. But it was a great weekend. A really great weekend. Amen to get togethers. Sadly enough, we have not 1 group photo. We are lames.