The Good, the Bad & the Semi-Literate

Senor Famous’s Music Video and the Tijuana Hooker Stripper Rejects On Sunday, I allowed myself to be convinced that I should show up at this shoot for the Jon Famous Fly music video. I'd previously mentioned the skills of Jon Famous and my lack of appreciation for them but I figured why the fuck not. I deeply suspect that all of the video "Models" were strippers, and that they all shopped at "Cheap Strippers who might have sex with you for a few extra dollars R-Us". Imagine tryouts at the strip club. But not a shitty hole in the wall like this spot pictured below from Philly. An upscale strip clup.... Imagine the rejects.... Yeah. Those were the Chicks at this shoot. Or better yet, the strippers at Pleasers in SW ATL..... Minus the bullet holes and cigarette burns. But not minus the stretch marks. Plenty of stretch marks. At least the bitches at Pleasers had the sense to get HIGH as shit before doing ignant ass pole tricks and shit. I just hope them hoes got p...

Preface: If you know a publisher or an agent, especially one with connections at Citadel Press...Please send them my way... So long as people will listen to anything, the proliferation of crappy ass music will continue unabated. (Kinda like : For evil to triumph it is enough only that good men do nothing). I spent my college years in Atlanta and I must say, a lot of crappy ass music came my way.... For instance: Gucci man “So Icy” - He literally says "My. Chain. Hangs. Down. To. My. DICK!!!!" with pauses in between each word for emphasis. Chamillionaire - please take a moment to listen to Ridin dirty. (I was with this song when it came out, as I myself was riding dirty.) Ummm, really the songs about police profiling. At the end, he pulls up at his girls crib....and states that he was not in fact ridin dirty.... BOOOOO!!! You suck chamillionaire! White tee - yup in my white tee, yup in my white tee!!!!! They don't rock a jersey, cuz they broke and dirty. Laffy Taffy - D...

It was a weekend of random. Apparently, if you attended Hampton, even if you were only there for one day and got kicked of for fighting and had to be “Out by 5”…. You will reunite with Hamptonians from across the world, sporadically. This weekend proved that all Hampton people are fitted with Hampton Homing devices that alert us to and draw us toward one another. Friday Erian appeared in town. A big bottle of Hennessey appeared in my fridge and our asses appeared at Union station to scoop Miss Kali herself. First off, Friday and Love night club don’t so much mix. We were all tired and slightly off kilter. But as always, Love is like a family reunion. Harry Hotter was spinning on the first floor and as always, that shit was hitting. Him and his fro could get it. That motherfucker is a good ass DJ. Roomie said that he's certain Harry gets a shitload of pussy cuz of that fro. I told roomie that he deserves every inch of pussy he falls into. Analyze was there but strangely was in the b...

Why I went to college I went to college for numerous random ass reasons. I didn’t have shit else to do. People told me I wasn’t going to go to college and I love proving assholes wrong. College was really easy…. While at college I learned random shit. Like: How to argue down teachers. How to bullshit my way through life. Fool-proof excuses for lateness (i.e. Extremely detailed descriptions of diarrhea) Sex etiquette : Having a roommate brings new complications to doing “The Business”…. Do you play music or no music? If there’s no music, can roomie hear shit? If there is music (considering that I never play music ever, business or no business) wouldn’t the music be an indication of the fact that I was doing the business and therefore counteract the point of playing the music all together because it would make it apparent that I was, in fact, doing the business? At first I worked real hard. Now I hardly work, but I work hard to make it look like I’m working hard. Now sometimes I wo...

Don’t stalk Roomie. It makes you look crazy If you are looking for the Jon Famous, Tijuana stripper blog, just click this link. If you are stalkin Roomie, like a crackhead stalks a hit, read on…… I’d mentioned this previously cuz I am a huge fan of full disclosure, but I feel the need to mention it again since someone apparently feels the need to stalk Roomie via my blog…….. I liked it when stalking was old school. All old fashioned and shit, tapping motherfuckers phones, following them places and sittin outside they house in the morning. Internet stalking is soooooo juvenile. I can’t say I don’t ever do it. Shit, I just internet stalked someone yesterday and matter of fact, internet stalking boosts your internet search skills and that shit is a viable asset in the work force. I think I actually got a job by saying “If it’s on the internet, I will find it.” But you should be aware of the site that you’re on. I blatantly let everyone know that I have a hitcounter. It helps me do pseudo...

I lost my car (aka I party like a Rock Star, Fuck like a Porn Star) Ok. I didn’t lose my car. I think its at the Four Seasons. Fuck it. Monday (aka Sunday night) randoms. I am still drunk. Car – at Four Seasons… Cell – in car….. Moet Rose is piss. Fuck yall, I drink Cristal. This morning was by far possibly the most difficult morning of 2008. WHO LET SHUG KNIGHT OUT OF JAIL? Who tha fuck let him up in the club? I intensely love how I can do me… All day…. My life is crazy… You valet… I park behind the club, skip the line and walk right in the back door. Coke really is the New Weed…. I only have snippet recollections of last night, which is why I lost my car. But I did meet this guy…… And got into a heated discussion about why charter schools are bullshit. The bathroom in the suite at the Four Seasons is almost bigger than my old apartment. Seriously, my life is way better than yours. You think yours is okay… and I’m sure it is… But multiply that times 10 and that’s me…. ...

This is Part II of what happened at LOVE Howard Homecoming Friday. It is suggested that you peep Part I prior to reading this so you know what the fuck I'm talking about. Giles... Here it is. As promised. We all know that I’m not about sleepovers. So at about 6am, I gather all my shit with the intention of going home... This is the first time since the Pittsburgh debacle that I have done some shit as dumb as what I did Friday Night.... Namely, I left my house with 2 dollars, my ID, a credit card (not a check card, no atm, no cash back option, nothin) and a tiny purse that was way too small for anything. I didn't even have my Blackberry, which made taking notes on the craziness that occurred the night before very difficult. Which meant that I was stuck. My plan was to get 20 dollars off of homeboy and take a cab home. This plan was deaded when he saw that I was bout to dip and said "Fuck you doing? Where you think you going? Lay yo ass down." Shit. Okay. Fuck it. I ca...