Big Dick Greg, Giving up and Redoing lent

So, I've offically given up. After having numerous convos about what he wants and what I want, last night we talked about what he wants vs what I want yet again (I hate the gay talking about the "feelings"), I have realized that what he wants and what I want ain't the same shit. He isn't where he nor I thought he was, which don't work for me, tho he pretty much wants things to continue like they were...

Naw. I'm good.

I'd rather not go down this road again. I need a t-shirt that says "Same shit, Different Dick." Cuz it is alway the same bullshit... Just with a different face and accent.

It's funny how these motherfuckers dissappear and then reappear.

Let me regale you with the tale of Big Dick Greg. He literally is labeled Big Dick Greg in my phone... Cuz that's all he's bringin to the table.

Big Dick, a blunt and a bottle of E & J. (Come to think of it, he sounds like somebody's dream man.... Iffin you want his myspace, email me).

He even has that Big Dick walk, like he has to walk funny to manuever around his own massive cock...

Anywho, Big Dick Greg and I went back to elementary school, dated in middle school and met back up during my college years. Big Dick Greg weren't smart... Not book smart or street smart... Naw. Neither.

Nor was he well off financially. Honestly his money was fucked.

But he did have a Big Ass Dick and in my youth, a Big Ass Dick could pass for true love if you tilted your head and squinted just right.

He was off that bullshit... I was in school, making good money and willing to love his broke, dumb, big dick havin ass....

But then the infamous "half naked girl on the couch" scenario popped off:

I'd stopped by his crib to pick up shit I'd left there, and it was summer, so his dumb big dick havin ass used to like to leave the door open (in NE Dc).... He was dumb. But his dick was massive.

Anyway, so I walk in and am startled. There is a bitch with no bottoms on sittin on his couch. I was still young and confused so I poured myself a drink (at my age now, I'd have thrown something and dipped)...

Anyway I poured myself a drink while he explained "See what had happened was, her grandfather died and she came over to talk and she was sad so she took off her pants...."

OMFG your a moron...

But for some reason (I can't remember why) I felt the need to be cordial (blame it on a southern upbringing)....

So I asked the half naked girl on the couch where she was from.

Half Naked girl: "What do you mean?"

Me: "What do you mean "What do I mean?" Like for instance, I'm from atlanta, but then I moved up here. Where are you from?"

Her: Oh. Dc. (Yeah... I figured that by now. I bet you've never left. You sound like the product of a DC public education.)

He and I ended cordially enough... Big dicks make a lot of shit possible but I still needed to distance myself from that bullshit saga.

I finished up school, had a nervous breakdown and true to form, I did what I always did and revisited my "Ghosts of Penises past" to look for answers and sort out "Where it all went wrong"...

And like clockwork, I arrived right back at Big Dick Greg... This was a short lived excersion. He was not doing well. But shit, I wasn't doing well either.

He didn't look like shit, he didn't look good like he used to and tho I was damn near certifiable at the time, my hair was on point and I was thinner than I'd ever been. I mighta been crazy but I looked damn good.

I'll say this: there is an immense level of satisfaction to be gained when you look great and your ex looks like a train wreck. Its okay to not want you ex to be happy, to not want to forgive and forget in a benevolent fashion.... Sometimes all I can do is wish them a slow death, cuz that's all I got to give, naw mean...

Malevolent anger and disdain. It aint pretty but it sure is honest and if you treated me badly, you land squarely on my Fuck You list...

Anywho, I extracted myself from that encounter quickly cuz even tho I was a half step away from a 12 step detox and a quarter step away from either a mental hospital or Jail, I'd still grown enough to know that A Big Dick can only compensate for so much. He hit me up the other day asking when he could see me... And as tempting as that big dick is.... Naw , I'm good... Thick long dick just aint worth the aggravation anymore...

Same shit, different dick.

Really, its all a matter of averages...

Like that Statistics professor said:

If you're not good-looking, you'd better be good; & if you're not good, you'd better be rich... Oh, I'm sorry. It's true, but I'm still sorry.

Dumb + Broke + Triflin + Big dick.... Even if we grading on a curve you still aint hittin for more than 25%...
FAIL!

Smart + Broke + Honest + Big Dick....

75%. Solid pass.

The more you bring to the table, just in terms of quantity improves your odd. Say you bring 100 things to table. You can have 25 fucked up qualities... So long as you got 75 positives, you good. Quantity leaves for a greater margin of fuckery. Quality is what will make or break you in the end tho....

C'est la vie. All in all, it is what it is. Bk was my last attempt at dating. We clicked on so many levels that, if this didn't work, aint shit gonna work.

I give up. Officially, for the record, once and for all. I give up.

And in my efforts to give up, I am redoin Lent...

So I'm givin up cigarettes, liquor, and (most) men...

Cuz its a venn diagram of fuckery or perhaps a triangle or maybe a nice flow chart... Or maybe its just people math.

Bad men = aggravation > my desire to not smoke and drink thus leading to tequila and Newport's.

Liquor = increase in desire for men and cigarettes....

Cigarettes must be smoked outdoors, which leads to the meeting of the mens, which leads to the desire to drink....

So I got 2 boxes of Nicorette and I'm lockin myself in my house. I'm done with the bullshit for 09. Done. Its a motherfuckin wrap...