Anatomy of a Good Ass Grift : The Hustle Chronicles
See also: Anatomy of a Hustle
This chick came on my NJ transit train today wit the ill sob story.
*sniff sniff* (wait for it, I'm bout to break this down.)
I'm so sorry to bother you. My son and I are stranded here. We have no money and we are just trying to get home. *sniffle sniffle* I am asking that if you have something to spare, it would be a blessing. I am trying to raise 24 dollars. *sniffle sniffle* Thank you for your time.
Now...... This bitch was a pro. Jewelry, light makeup. Right age for a mother. Low ponytail. Light sniffles, no tears. Big purse, well dressed. Motherfuckers starting diggin in purses and shit and then this one guy goes "She does that shit everyday. Same fucking story."
She was smart, tho.
I give that bitch kudos. Getting caught in a solid grift aint shit to be ashamed of. That shits an art.
Similar shit happened in Miami.
(This will be hazy. I was drunk most of the time) Walking down the street with my girl. This older broad and younger broad are walking past us. The older one stops my friend and says "I just want to tell you one thing...." And then follows it up with some shit like "He loves you" or some dumb shit. She goes on to explain her psychic "gifts". The younger one starts in on me with this "free reading" bullshit..... with the caveot that if I thought she'd earned it, it would be 40 bucks.
And the convo goes like this:
Me: I don't carry money so naw. Ill pass on the reading. I'd hate for you to do all that work and then I have nothing to give you.
Psychic: There are always atms.
Me: Naw. I don't trust them things. Plus, I don't think I really want to know my future. I enjoy the surprises. I think that's what lifes all about.
Psychic: Well, I can tell youu have a beautiful spirit. I'd like to give you one of these stones...
Me: (at this point I get excited) Ooooooo. I have stones, too.
(At this point, I pull out a drawstring bag with several pieces of Agate, Hematite, Amethysis, Snowflake Obsidion and a Shiva Lingam)
Psychic: Those are really nice.
So I break down each stone and explain them to her. I tell her that Ill pass on her piece of clear crystal quartz.... Pass.
Psychic: Oh, do you mind if I smoke?
Me: No. But you really should try nicorette.
Psychic: I tried the patch, but it didn't work. Is this different?
I explain the difference. Between the patch and nicorette and leave her with a couple of pieces. She hugs me and by then my friend was ready to go...
The end result... My friend got a $40 dollar psychic reading because she got snared into "Letting someone tell her what she wanted to hear".
Beware of flatterers and those bearing gifts. Sychophants kill me. They do. I no heart that shit so I averted. That and the daughter wasn't as seasoned as the mother. Breakdown of a hustle: Go for 2. If you can't get 2..... Separate so that you can make sure you get at least 1.
The daughter was the wingman. Had I been all "Oh, I'm bored let's go".... (Tho I'm really not that chick) it would have spoiled the hustle. Made a good story in the end (though if you ask my friend, I'm sure she'll have something different to say.
"There is no such thing as a no sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can't. Either way a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him?"
I can't fault a hustle. Everythings a hustle. Some just dress it up more than others. A stripper grindin on a pole, pretending to love you and only you til you run out of dollars... A straight up grifter... Or you at your job, readin this blog and pretending like its work... A good hustle.... I commend that shit. Clap, clap Bravo. When done right... That shit is a work of art and fuck it. Everybody's got to make a living.
This chick came on my NJ transit train today wit the ill sob story.
*sniff sniff* (wait for it, I'm bout to break this down.)
I'm so sorry to bother you. My son and I are stranded here. We have no money and we are just trying to get home. *sniffle sniffle* I am asking that if you have something to spare, it would be a blessing. I am trying to raise 24 dollars. *sniffle sniffle* Thank you for your time.
Now...... This bitch was a pro. Jewelry, light makeup. Right age for a mother. Low ponytail. Light sniffles, no tears. Big purse, well dressed. Motherfuckers starting diggin in purses and shit and then this one guy goes "She does that shit everyday. Same fucking story."
She was smart, tho.
- She hit up the transit.
Probably commuters. People not worn down by city grifting. - She never said she was robbed.
Draws attention and possibly brings the cops into the equation.
If someone starts to ask why she has no money she can dip because.... - She didn't bring her "son" with her.
Where is this "oft spoken of but never seen kid? On the platform? Being watched by Amtrak employees? Don't matter, he's a quick escape in case shit goes awry. - She hit her demographic on the head....
Cuz her demographic is everyone.
Single mothers. Fathers. Sons. Just pullin heart strings and weaving sob fuckin stories. - She asked for a reasonable amount of dough.
24 dollars is the cost of 2 one way NJ transit tickets. She could get ones, fives, tens, even big ball with a 20. She could do this in every car between the 10-15 minutes alloted for boarding. - and rule No. 1....
Leave no victims. We're all bout to leave on a train. Who the fuck we complainin to?
I give that bitch kudos. Getting caught in a solid grift aint shit to be ashamed of. That shits an art.
Similar shit happened in Miami.
(This will be hazy. I was drunk most of the time) Walking down the street with my girl. This older broad and younger broad are walking past us. The older one stops my friend and says "I just want to tell you one thing...." And then follows it up with some shit like "He loves you" or some dumb shit. She goes on to explain her psychic "gifts". The younger one starts in on me with this "free reading" bullshit..... with the caveot that if I thought she'd earned it, it would be 40 bucks.
And the convo goes like this:
Me: I don't carry money so naw. Ill pass on the reading. I'd hate for you to do all that work and then I have nothing to give you.
Psychic: There are always atms.
Me: Naw. I don't trust them things. Plus, I don't think I really want to know my future. I enjoy the surprises. I think that's what lifes all about.
Psychic: Well, I can tell youu have a beautiful spirit. I'd like to give you one of these stones...
Me: (at this point I get excited) Ooooooo. I have stones, too.
(At this point, I pull out a drawstring bag with several pieces of Agate, Hematite, Amethysis, Snowflake Obsidion and a Shiva Lingam)
Psychic: Those are really nice.
So I break down each stone and explain them to her. I tell her that Ill pass on her piece of clear crystal quartz.... Pass.
Psychic: Oh, do you mind if I smoke?
Me: No. But you really should try nicorette.
Psychic: I tried the patch, but it didn't work. Is this different?
I explain the difference. Between the patch and nicorette and leave her with a couple of pieces. She hugs me and by then my friend was ready to go...
The end result... My friend got a $40 dollar psychic reading because she got snared into "Letting someone tell her what she wanted to hear".
Beware of flatterers and those bearing gifts. Sychophants kill me. They do. I no heart that shit so I averted. That and the daughter wasn't as seasoned as the mother. Breakdown of a hustle: Go for 2. If you can't get 2..... Separate so that you can make sure you get at least 1.
The daughter was the wingman. Had I been all "Oh, I'm bored let's go".... (Tho I'm really not that chick) it would have spoiled the hustle. Made a good story in the end (though if you ask my friend, I'm sure she'll have something different to say.
"There is no such thing as a no sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can't. Either way a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him?"
I can't fault a hustle. Everythings a hustle. Some just dress it up more than others. A stripper grindin on a pole, pretending to love you and only you til you run out of dollars... A straight up grifter... Or you at your job, readin this blog and pretending like its work... A good hustle.... I commend that shit. Clap, clap Bravo. When done right... That shit is a work of art and fuck it. Everybody's got to make a living.
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