The Ideological Oxymoron and the 14 dollar "Gourmet" Grilled Cheese.
So, I made it to the big city. Yeah. Me. I made it.
Tuesday was my first day and I think I love the city, though I cannot seem to escape the damn commercial that's running through my head.
I get on my A.M. commuter train at 7:20, which for me is insane. Insane. I haven't seen 7 something in the morning in like ever.
I gets on my train and arrive in the most fucked up place ever. Penn motherfucking station. I get lost deep in Penn Station and then I wander over to the A train to get to work.
Get off the train and Im lost. Straight up lost. I found an awesome store. They'll sell me anything for 2 dollars. Anything!
I go to work and I like it. After work I head home and make it into bed by midnight. This is my new thing. I go to work and I go home for good sleep.
The next couple of days are interesting. I go to work. I get lost. I get on the wrong A train, get off at 59th street and turn around. The train driver keeps saying "Have an optimistic day" and a Geico Gecko is on the train. Hehehe Gecko.
This is what lives outside of my office.
Not to mention the Ghostbuster fire house.
Sophia and I catch up on friday. We head off to a birthday party. We drink a shitload of drinks and eat 14 dollar "gourmet" grilled cheese sandwiches while trying to ignore "The fake nerd" sitting behind us in an Argyle sweater and hipster frames. Phia checked to see if he was wearing chucks but no. No, he wasn't. Had he had some chucks and a backpack and a skateboard, we could have sent him off with Pharrell and them.
I glanced over my shoulder and made eye contact with a cute guy in a suit. He was friendly looking and clean cut and looked employed. Yay for employment. Then I turn my attention back to the action in front of me for 2 reasons.
He was and he did. I like that so I gave him my number.
Sophia and I went to the bathroom and got caught up in a convo about Vegas, H & M, Miami, plumbing, tile.... And the next thing we know, some girl runs into the bathroom talking about "Oh my god. Its a fight."
Uh Uh. This is ridiculous. We head upstairs to get our shit. Once it's a fight, it's time to go.
That actually turned out to be more difficult than it was worth so we just sat back down and get two more drinks.
This random guy crooks his finger to ask me to come over to him. I have several problems with this. Several.
First off, he is standing up and already not that far from me. I am not getting up when you are already standing up.
Second, He was not cute. Not at all.
3rd, I didn't get him. No. Really I didn't. He had locks and a white polo with a collar that may or may not have been popped. Like, seriously. Your hair is saying one thing and your top is saying another and the combo of the two is bullshit. You are displaying conflicting ideologies and honestly, I don't like either of them but now you just look like an oxymoronic douchebag.... Sighhhh......
So, I say flat out, "I'm not getting up. You can come over here."
Again with he crooked finger and the demanding eye.
I repeat myself.
Again with the god damn finger.
So I say "Dude I'm not fucking getting up. Fuck it. Whatever." and I put my head on the table.
When I lift my head he is mouthing "I like your style....."
Fuck....
Argyle sweater pops up again with a drink for someone. He tries to hand it to one girl. She says no. He tries to hand it to Sophie and me.... We pull him back over and ask him what it is. He says it's a Malibu something. We then force him to drink half, in spite of his loud protests that it is too sweet. Once we are satisfied that he hasn't roofied it by using him as our taste tester, we swap out his straw for ours and go to town on that shit.
He asks me what I do. I tell him that I'm an Evidence Tech at a computer forensic consulting firm.
He says "Oh. Like prosecution shit".
Me: Noooooo.
Him: So what do you do?
Me: I'm an evidence tech at a computer forensics consulting firm.
Him: Oh. So, like IT.
Me: Nooooo. God. Sound it out. Wtf. Break it down by the base words. The BASE WORDS.
At this point I'm just being rude and I give up. Time to dip. We pee and grab our shit. I check in with the guy I gave my number to and tell him to hit me up tomorrow and we're out.
We wander to Penn Station and I get on the last train and head home...
All in all, dranks occurred and we have a great NY experience. I curse out a guy, we spend 14 dollars on a "Gourmet" grilled cheese sandwich and my drunk ass gets home around 3. I like it here. I do. Quite happy
Tuesday was my first day and I think I love the city, though I cannot seem to escape the damn commercial that's running through my head.
I get on my A.M. commuter train at 7:20, which for me is insane. Insane. I haven't seen 7 something in the morning in like ever.
I gets on my train and arrive in the most fucked up place ever. Penn motherfucking station. I get lost deep in Penn Station and then I wander over to the A train to get to work.
Get off the train and Im lost. Straight up lost. I found an awesome store. They'll sell me anything for 2 dollars. Anything!
I go to work and I like it. After work I head home and make it into bed by midnight. This is my new thing. I go to work and I go home for good sleep.
The next couple of days are interesting. I go to work. I get lost. I get on the wrong A train, get off at 59th street and turn around. The train driver keeps saying "Have an optimistic day" and a Geico Gecko is on the train. Hehehe Gecko.
This is what lives outside of my office.
Not to mention the Ghostbuster fire house.
Sophia and I catch up on friday. We head off to a birthday party. We drink a shitload of drinks and eat 14 dollar "gourmet" grilled cheese sandwiches while trying to ignore "The fake nerd" sitting behind us in an Argyle sweater and hipster frames. Phia checked to see if he was wearing chucks but no. No, he wasn't. Had he had some chucks and a backpack and a skateboard, we could have sent him off with Pharrell and them.
I glanced over my shoulder and made eye contact with a cute guy in a suit. He was friendly looking and clean cut and looked employed. Yay for employment. Then I turn my attention back to the action in front of me for 2 reasons.
- I was at a birthday party and didn't want to be rude.
- I like a man who knows what he wants and knows how to take the lead. I opened the door, by making eye contact and I wanted to see if he'd be man enough to walk through that door.
He was and he did. I like that so I gave him my number.
Sophia and I went to the bathroom and got caught up in a convo about Vegas, H & M, Miami, plumbing, tile.... And the next thing we know, some girl runs into the bathroom talking about "Oh my god. Its a fight."
Uh Uh. This is ridiculous. We head upstairs to get our shit. Once it's a fight, it's time to go.
That actually turned out to be more difficult than it was worth so we just sat back down and get two more drinks.
This random guy crooks his finger to ask me to come over to him. I have several problems with this. Several.
First off, he is standing up and already not that far from me. I am not getting up when you are already standing up.
Second, He was not cute. Not at all.
3rd, I didn't get him. No. Really I didn't. He had locks and a white polo with a collar that may or may not have been popped. Like, seriously. Your hair is saying one thing and your top is saying another and the combo of the two is bullshit. You are displaying conflicting ideologies and honestly, I don't like either of them but now you just look like an oxymoronic douchebag.... Sighhhh......
So, I say flat out, "I'm not getting up. You can come over here."
Again with he crooked finger and the demanding eye.
I repeat myself.
Again with the god damn finger.
So I say "Dude I'm not fucking getting up. Fuck it. Whatever." and I put my head on the table.
When I lift my head he is mouthing "I like your style....."
Fuck....
Argyle sweater pops up again with a drink for someone. He tries to hand it to one girl. She says no. He tries to hand it to Sophie and me.... We pull him back over and ask him what it is. He says it's a Malibu something. We then force him to drink half, in spite of his loud protests that it is too sweet. Once we are satisfied that he hasn't roofied it by using him as our taste tester, we swap out his straw for ours and go to town on that shit.
He asks me what I do. I tell him that I'm an Evidence Tech at a computer forensic consulting firm.
He says "Oh. Like prosecution shit".
Me: Noooooo.
Him: So what do you do?
Me: I'm an evidence tech at a computer forensics consulting firm.
Him: Oh. So, like IT.
Me: Nooooo. God. Sound it out. Wtf. Break it down by the base words. The BASE WORDS.
At this point I'm just being rude and I give up. Time to dip. We pee and grab our shit. I check in with the guy I gave my number to and tell him to hit me up tomorrow and we're out.
We wander to Penn Station and I get on the last train and head home...
All in all, dranks occurred and we have a great NY experience. I curse out a guy, we spend 14 dollars on a "Gourmet" grilled cheese sandwich and my drunk ass gets home around 3. I like it here. I do. Quite happy
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