My heart vs. My head (Plus Haters, Hoe friends & Fluke bitches)

After getting back from NJ and seeing my dad, who is now out of the hospital with pending cardiologist visits, I have been bogged down with work, sleep, colds and the guy I like.

I have also been slightly torn between what I feel I "should" say to him vs. what actually has a need to be verbalized in our current situation. We ain't got no rings... and no commitments (though we do get along well). The sex is.... Well just watch the video:



Now, we haven't discussed exclusivity. I don't think there is an expectation that my vagina is strictly for him and tho I haven't slept with anyone else yet, a much welcome friend should be reemerging within the next week.

I think we are functioning on a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He don’t seem to want to ask, so I don’t really intend on telling.

All I know is this: My heart says one thing... (like perhaps if I care about the sanctity and purity of this situation, I should keep my vag to myself.)

My vagina is saying some whole other shit. Something along the lines of "It ain't no fun, if the homies can’t have none? (I think my vagina considers me one of the Homies.)

Good thing neither my vagina nor my heart pay the rent out this bitch. Cuz my brain, being smarter than my heart (who happens to be a punk bitch) and my vagina (who is a demanding and selfish hooker), is steadily letting me know that until "the talk" occurs, I am a free agent and so is my vagina. I could pause for the cause but I won’t.

I feel that saving it when it ain't necessarily bein saved for me is a chump move.

That statement, in and of itself, keeps me from being off on a monologue like the shit below:


I have to be me. Plus, I just got new underwear and a new dress. That shit ain't cheap and I have a rule about my undies...."At least 3 different people need to see my underwear for me to have gotten my money's worth."


• Just got a call from Bail. I need you to know that I hate 2 things in this world: Whiney ass men and anal rape.
  
  Whiney men kill me. Ex 07 wanted to whine cuz he aint had metro money to get to work. Do I look like WMATA? You a grown ass man. WTF?
  
  Bail. Bail need to stop askin where the fuck I'm at. No rings exchanged and this definitely aint one of those boost mobile commercials.
  
  
  
  Why you need to know where the fuck I'm at?
  
  Bail needs to realize that if I said I'd call and I didn't, it is because that whinin ass shit is givin me a migraine. Soundin like a lonely housewife on my phone.
  
  
• I decided to rap the other day.... This is all I came up with:
  

  I freestyle my rhymes cuz I don't really want to hurt her. If I wrote it down It’d be premeditated murder.

  
  
  
• The following can be blamed on Greg. Every last bit of it….
  It started off with the following premise (set forth by Greg)
  2 women + 1 man= 3some.
  2 men + 1 female= gangbang
  
  JSkittle at 12:54pm
  2 men + 1 female= gangbang (FALSEHOOD)
  Gangbangs must have at least 4 participants (no more than one recipient) and have to have a line. If no line is formed then it don't count. Lineless gangbangs shall here forth be referred to as meandering hole plugging.
  FIN.
  
  Greg at 12:55pm
  JSkittle...
  Its true. You can’t have a three some partake of two men. PERIOD>
  
  JSkittle at 1:06pm
  If there are 3 people- it is a 3some.
  These 3 people could be 3 men. 3 women... any kind of 2 on one combo and if you throw in transgendered individuals, the possible permutations are bananas. There are no 4somes.... just orgies. Hence the line and one recipient stipulations.
  Recap: Onesomes. Masturbation....
  Two somes... regular sex.
  3somes. 3 people.
  More than 3 with everyone touchin everyone... Orgy.
  More than 3 with line.... Gangbang/train.
  I have thought about this for years... I stand by my definitions.
  
  Greg at
  1:08pm
  So JSkittle... 3some?
  
  So JSkittle.... if there are 4 people in the room.. one is watching, another is waiting, and two are fucking... is that a threesome?
  
  JSkittle at 1:26pm
  So JSkittle.... if there are 4 people in the room.. one is watching, another is waiting, and two are fucking... is that a threesome?
  
  Answer: That depends... does the watcher end up participating later? If more than 3 people end up touching... Orgy. If 3 people end up touching, 3some... That situation sounds like sex and a possible with the option of an orgy. or a 3some with voyeuristic tendencies. Or a twosome followed by another twosome (here forth referred to as “Consecutive sex”).
  
  Also if two people are having sex next to two other people having sex and someone yells out "Switch!" and they switch.... that is 2 concurrent sexes which then led to consecutive sex made possible by a Switcheroo maneuver.
  
  These are my definitions. I’m standin by em.
  
  
• If you keep ugly female friends so you can feel like "The shit" while standing next to them at the club.... You are a fluke ass bitch.
  
  Addendum: If you are an ugly female who only hangs with fine females at the club cuz you can't book a guy solo, then you get real "Drunk" and hope some guy will also"get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions. Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels?" Hmmm. Also a fluke ass bitch.
  
  
  
• The“Hoe” friend.
  We all have at least one Hoe friend Your “Hoe” friend is often fun, wacky and spontaneous. But beware. Your “Hoe” friend (to quote the words of Ludacris) has “Hoe Tendencies. Hoes are her friends, Hoes are her enemies…” Your “Hoe” friend will get you into troublesome “Hoe” circumstances. Here forth to be referred to as “Hostances”… This is when you are hanging out with your “Hoe” friend and some dudes…. Next thing you know someone walks into the living room with no pants on and your Hoe friend starts blowing him. Beware of Hoes…. You might catch an unwanted eyeful…
  
  
• While driving to NJ, I realized that I know some hating ass bitches. I also realized that these hatin ass bitches deal with hater ass n*ggas and that if offspring were to be produced, they too would likely hate.... Kanye was right. Again.
  
  

  There'll always be haters, that's the way it is
  Hater niggas marry hater bitches and have hater kids

  
  
  
• The area code rule is defined as such: (by me)
  If my cell phone area code is 240... and I am dating someone else who is 240.... And I fuck someone whose area code is 202 or 301.... not cheating. So long as my area code is different from the person who I am "extracurricularing"... not cheating. (I figure, if you sit around rationalizing cheating based on area codes, you might as well maximize your dirt potential…
  
  Been having a few security issues. Might need to go private. I will let you know when that happens (if I am forced to take that route). I have this thing about keeping my professional and personal life very separate. If I perceive this to be impossible with my blog being "Public", I will allow access to those who want it (but it will require email addresses). Gotta do what I gotta do.