Your nice car doesn't make up for the fact that you're an asshole.....

Today was interesting so I thought I'd share. I woke up this morning to the rants of "The Crazy Lady". I should have known that lady lives too close to me. I need to move....

I have been working very late hours so I woke up and was headed to work, late as shit, walkin down the street thinkin bout that fine guy from brunch and how much finer he'd have been if he weren't an asshole. He had a nice smile.... Was alittle corny (which is what I would have expected based on his age). Wasn't the most truthful individual but I'd never keep him. Never. Who needs the headache?

Hmm, well who do I see driving a fly ass car honking at me as I pass by the entrance of his "company........

Now, I'm sure its wrong to give people "Fly ass car" bonus points but if he was running a deficiet points wise based on personality, he made his way back into my good graces due to his arms, ex-model status and that fine ass car. I'm a sucker for the 3 A's....Abs, Arms & Automobiles.....

Anywho, the conversation went like this:
Him: Hey
Me: Hehehe Whatup?
Him: Where you been at?
Me: Work and shit.
Him: (Palm out, Colgates just shinin) Gimme five.
Me: How bout I give you 1? (Extending a solitary digit in his direction, he grabs my finger)
Him: You still got my number?
Me: No, yeah, maybe? I dunno. I'm late. Call me later.
Him: I don't got your number.
Me: Oh. But you did have it. Awww you got pissy wit me and deleted it? You're that kinda dude? Aww you was feeling some kinda way?
Him: Come on, just gimme the number...
Me: Whatever. (Rapid-fire relaying of number)… Now for the Million Dollar Question: What's my name?
Him: I dunno what is it?
Me: Uh uh. You got the number. Figure out the name... That's your assignment. Work on that.... Make that happen.

He's fine.... But I've had finer.
Plus, even though his tinge of asshole was redeemed by his cream worthy car.... I know his paper ain't straight. He is living beyond his means and is right back at the demerit level that he was at before I seent him today. SMH.
Shit that was said and heard:

"There are three things I don't use; Sunblock, Seatbelts and Prophylactics." SMH.... I guess you gotta believe in something.

"Fuck it dude. I can't teach all these hoes..."

"Hoes need goals, too, and according to this video their goal is to get nutted on by Plies."

"I am so sick of these damn fucked up facebook Names. Erica Suckabeachballthruagardenhose Powers. Brian Numbaonepussylickerfolife Williams. What the fuck is wrong wit yall youthes..."

"Yo, I met these two women. One was hot .... and One was her friend." (It seems to always go like that.)

"Fuck is wrong witchu! Crepes are delicious. They're like french Enchiladas. What the fuck!"

Best lame pickup convo ever:

Guy: You're lucky. I got 1 spot left in my phone. What's your number?

Sidenote. I wear a plain silver band on my hand for just such occasions.
Me: Sorry, I'm married.
Guy: Tsk tsk tsk. He let you out?
Me: Umm well all the house work was done and he was fed so he said I could have the night off?

"See! That's why you're always endin up in clandestined sexual situations!!! Lack of knowledge of social protocol in relation to anonymous sexual encounters. Smh. Your buttholes in constant jeopardy."

Yeah. Its been special. Real special.

Comments

khaki said…
JSkittle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You made my day... *runs to read the rest of your updates*
Mel-Lisa said…
I am a firm believer in extra points for fine cars! I loved your blog as always!
Mel-Lisa said…
I am a firm believer in extra points for fine cars! I loved your blog as always!
Mel-Lisa said…
I am a firm believer in extra points for fine cars! I loved your blog as always!
Miss Mac said…
I jus saw the same comment 3 times. If that was me, I'd b a little salty (I'd b hyped if someone ever commented on my shit, let alone 4 times then to find out it was only 2 would b disappointing) Anyway. Real refreshing. Funny and honest. However, Crepes are NOTHING like french enchiladas. More like, sweet moo-sho pancakes with better fillings.

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