Two tears in a bucket, Fuck it.

And it happened again… My sex drive died. Perhaps its because I’m dealing with too many different things but at this point… I am tired and want no parts of man parts. I want to nap. And drink tequila. And loiter the best I can.

The BK saga continues. I broke things off (I guess) on Saturday… Which lead him to contract me aloooot on Sunday. He conveniently ignores shit that he doesn’t want to hear. Things like, “I can’t and won’t put up with this situation anymore….” or “I’m really mad at you.” Apparently he doesn’t engage in things like that. It’s oddly comforting and also bewildering… He’ll be like “Yeah, I saw your message but I really didn’t read it. I just called you instead….” What the fuck?

At this point, I’m tired of trying or caring or something. Im just tired.

We talked for a long time last night about random shit, but 3 weeks of neglect made me feel a disconnect, like the bond that was forming has been severely damaged. Its like not watering a plant for 3 weeks and the popping up and sprinkling water on it and getting annoyed when it doesn’t immediately flower.

All of this has left me feeling very “Fuck You” today.

Just whelmed. Over and Underwhelmed. I have apparently managed to dissociate from this situation because I don’t feel a damn thing. And, I guess, even if he won’t acknowledge me breaking things off, it doesn’t seem to affect how I feel… which is nothing. Toward him or anyone else. Im tired. 2009 has kicked my ass about 5 times over and I’d rather nap than be bothered with it.

Perhaps things will change if I see him. Lord knows I could use some sex to restart my sex drive.... But I'd probably prefer to just nap.

Here are some fucking anthologies and shit. I am to Blah to write anything worth reading today.


Catch me next week.... I'm sure Ill have more to say.

Comments

simone_dior said…
*big hugggg*
15/6/09 9:31 AM
Kookie said…
If life is giving you lemons I say slice that in to quarters and bring on the shots of tequila
16/6/09 7:23 AM
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