Single in the city

Sometimes the vastness of the city astounds me. The singles, the “in loves”, the marrieds….

It is amazing how, in a city so big with so many people to connect with, how some people can feel so alone.

I am embarking on dating again, kinda. After all my years of “failures”, at least I have figured out what I do and do not want.

I want:

• Someone with a four year degree.
  I am tired of dating people that I can only have perfunctory conversations with. I should not have to dumb down our conversation because you cannot keep up.
  
  
• Someone who has read more than just what was assigned at school in order to get that four year degree.
  I am not wowed when your list of favorite reading materials merely consists of things that were required.
  
  
• Someone who isn’t crazy.
  This one seems simple but I have a history of “what the fuck”…. From the delusional to the sociopathic. I can’t do it anymore.
  
  
• Someone who makes as much or more money than me.
  I am tired of dating dudes who make a 3rd of what I do. It’s ridiculous. When we go out and I always end up paying to assuage my guilt over the fact that I have a better job than you…. That is a problem. “Get up, get out and do something.”
  
  
• Someone who is single.
  Seriously. If you are “Married and Unhappy/Lonely”, get a fucking divorce before you step to me.
  
  
• Someone who is independent.
  This is more complex than it sounds. If you are always worried about what other people think of you, then you are not the person for me. I like to live outside of those constraints and if that is your main concern… we ain’t gonna make it. We just ain’t.
  
  This also applies to people who believe in trade offs. Like “I was a computer nerd but I was also cool with (fill in the blank with popular high school group) so it was ok”….. Bitch, I graduated high school in 2001, and when I was there, I gave not a fuck about how other people saw me. If your self worth is predicated upon how others perceive you then we should give up now.
  
  
• Someone who is honest.
  Honesty will take you far with me. Having the integrity to step up and admit when you have fucked up is sexy and grown.
  
  
• Someone with confidence.
  No self deprecating bullshit.
  
  
• Someone who isn’t bitter.
  That thing that happened 10 years ago when you felt wronged and disenfranchised…. Let it go. It was a long time ago and that’s why you aint do shit with your life. You are hung up on and living in the past. MOVE ON.
  
  
• Someone who doesn’t obsessively read this blog to see if they’re mentioned.
  Yeah. This also links in with the above. You’re pressed. It’s sad. Move on. “You’re so Vain…. I bet you think this blog is about you….”
  
  
• Someone who doesn’t compare me to their last girlfriend.
  I am not her. I do not care what she was like or how we are similar or different.

I also have a list of things that don’t matter to me.

Shit that I don’t care about:

• Race…
  Just be normal. Color doesn’t matter.
  
  
• Sex.
  Just be normal. I don’t really care.
  
  
• Kids.
  So long as they are not like severely numerous, I don’t care.
  
  
• Monogamy/Fidelity
  I find that, the older I get, the less I care about this. If I had to choose between Monogamy or Honesty, I’d choose honesty. I feel like the implications of Monogamy make people feel the need to lie. I would rather have an open and honesty relationship than one where we lie to one another and pretend that we aren’t attracted to others.

I know what I want. This city is vast. I intend on finding something that suits me.