Throwing Rose Petals at strangers in Times Square (NYC part 1)
Let me rewind a bit before we get into the details from my NY extravaganza.
The day after Christmas, I took my mother to Dover to see my brother.... I was so aggravated by the process of getting to Dover that I forgot to write about it last time I wrote.
Okay, so we are headed to Dover. Already we are running late. I had to get my hair and toes done for the NYE wedding that I was headed to. Mom and I get on the road and we are following the New GPS. His name is "Jason". No, Seriously. Before it was this british chick who just plain drove me nuts. Anywho. Jason is kindly directing us to "McGlynns" in Dover and not doing a bad job of it. But according to my mother, GPS and Jason are both morons. What we need to do is drive to up 95 and then go on the Delaware Memorial bridge. I try to explain to my mother that just because the Bridge is in Delaware doesnt mean it is anywhere near Dover. But Jason is only so loud and please believe that my mom is louder. Way Louder. So after cursing alot and explaining to my mother that only one person could direct us, either her or the GPS, we end up going her route.
Every time she directs me to get off of the GPS Route, I glance down at the distance-o-meter that Jason has kindly displayed in my dash and not that the new route that he has to calculate has added on an additional 10 miles to account for the wrong direction that we are headed in. I try and breathe. I really do. Then I snap and threaten to pull the car over, as she had ceased to stop yelling this entire time, and called her an "insufferable c*nt". Seriously. Merry F*ckng Xmas.
We finally start following Jason's route and though it was not the most convenient route, it was the fastest. Quite foggy, but still fast. Had a lovely dinner with my brother and mother and then trekked home. Typical ass Xmas....
So, as I mentioned above, I had a wedding to go to. Let's start with the day before New Years Eve.
I woke up in time. Headed off to CVS to get pantyhose, a sandwich and a ride from my cousin. So I get my pantyhose, go next door to get my sammich and head over to Cuzzos. Get a work email and in the distraction, I left my sammich on the top of her car. Didn't realize til we were half way down North Capital. There goes breakfast/lunch.
So I get to the bus and realize that I gave my cuzzo my gloves to wear. Fuck it. Ill be a cold bitch in NY, I guess..... Nope. Cuzzo came back and brought me my gloves. That is love. Real love.
I get on the bus and sit down. The two girls behind me are discussing how to make a gravity bong like it is something new that they just made up. They are young and loud.
I realize that:
So I am headed into NY and I realize that it is a Full Moon, a Lunar Eclipse, New Year and my birthday, plus I would be at a wedding. Hmmmmm.
Long bus ride short, I get to NY and I am over an hour late. I then wait an additional hour for a cab. Get to the hotel and check in. I am severely late and missed the rehearsal dinner. I order a 30 dollar tuna sandwich from room service. It was a good ass sammich. I tell you that.
I put on shoes and go off in the world. I found Central Park.
I am a fan of Olmstead so I decide to wander over and pretend I am in an episode of Law and Order "SVU".
I headed over to Duane Reed (which I love), get lots of diet soda and head back to the Hotel.
Get back and meet up with the bride to hash out the details of the big day. Headed downstairs and hang out with "Bridesmaid No. 1" at the bar. We talk about NJ and NY and life and love.
We drink lots of vodka. Lots. Next thing you know, the following question is posited: "What do you call a gay guy who hates straight guys?".... The guy next to us says, "Harvard Grad?".... No. apparently the answer is: Heterophobe.
End up in a conversation with one guy about how DC makes no sense.... and I am trying to explain to him how its a grid and NY is much easier to navigate. He apparently hates the quadrants. (shrug...fuck Imma do.)
Soon we are discussing how I feel that sex just ain't right unless I'm at least 80 percent nude and then the bartender is talking about how the levels of rigidity and sexual conservatism in various cultures has an effect on how much clothing is worn during the act to keep the focus on procreation as opposed to exploring someones body in enjoyment.
Interesting....
Realize that I am too drunk. Way too drunk.
Stoopid vodka. I get sick. Twice. I realize that I should avoid Vodka. I realize that I must assist in wedding shortly. Sighhhhh.
I woke up the next morning with my head throbbing. I drink alot of water and order a 50 dollar breakfast. It was good but I was so hung over I prayed for death. I take my cell, blackberry and wedding folder and head off to the bride. I peep out the window.
Beautiful. Just Beautiful.
Run around a see the reception space. Make sure that everything is ready.
Go to the wedding. Very nice. Very Catholic.
I get back and head up to the reception area. There is a slight Snafu. The Florist was supposed to scatter rose petals on the tables. They really just dropped off a shit load of roses so me and my assigned partner in crime scatter flowers over the tables and still have 2 dozen left over.
I go and get a cocktail and eat hors d'oeuvres. We reception. We reception HARD!!!!
There were these great centerpieces at the table and my buddy "Bridesmaid Number 2" won one. Now "Bridesmaid Number 2" lives in Maine and is going back the next day. IDEA!!!!
I now use my new "Rose Breakdown Technique" and a big bag... We fill this bag with rose petals..... Help the bride and groom wrap things up and then "Bridesmaid Number 2" and I go to Times Square at 2am and toss handfuls of rose petals at people. They seemed to enjoy it but please, be sure to say "Rose Petals". Otherwise they freak the fuck out. It was definitely a new adventure.
I spent the rest of the night talking to an "Old/New" guy. I've known him for a while but not as in depth as I would have liked to. That was how I spent the last few hours of my 26th year and the first few hours of my 27th year. I think it was one of the more quiet, pleasant and thoughtful experiences of my life. I ended the year with a peculiar feeling of strength, power and quiet reflection.
(Stay tuned for NYC Part 2)
The day after Christmas, I took my mother to Dover to see my brother.... I was so aggravated by the process of getting to Dover that I forgot to write about it last time I wrote.
Okay, so we are headed to Dover. Already we are running late. I had to get my hair and toes done for the NYE wedding that I was headed to. Mom and I get on the road and we are following the New GPS. His name is "Jason". No, Seriously. Before it was this british chick who just plain drove me nuts. Anywho. Jason is kindly directing us to "McGlynns" in Dover and not doing a bad job of it. But according to my mother, GPS and Jason are both morons. What we need to do is drive to up 95 and then go on the Delaware Memorial bridge. I try to explain to my mother that just because the Bridge is in Delaware doesnt mean it is anywhere near Dover. But Jason is only so loud and please believe that my mom is louder. Way Louder. So after cursing alot and explaining to my mother that only one person could direct us, either her or the GPS, we end up going her route.
Every time she directs me to get off of the GPS Route, I glance down at the distance-o-meter that Jason has kindly displayed in my dash and not that the new route that he has to calculate has added on an additional 10 miles to account for the wrong direction that we are headed in. I try and breathe. I really do. Then I snap and threaten to pull the car over, as she had ceased to stop yelling this entire time, and called her an "insufferable c*nt". Seriously. Merry F*ckng Xmas.
We finally start following Jason's route and though it was not the most convenient route, it was the fastest. Quite foggy, but still fast. Had a lovely dinner with my brother and mother and then trekked home. Typical ass Xmas....
So, as I mentioned above, I had a wedding to go to. Let's start with the day before New Years Eve.
I woke up in time. Headed off to CVS to get pantyhose, a sandwich and a ride from my cousin. So I get my pantyhose, go next door to get my sammich and head over to Cuzzos. Get a work email and in the distraction, I left my sammich on the top of her car. Didn't realize til we were half way down North Capital. There goes breakfast/lunch.
So I get to the bus and realize that I gave my cuzzo my gloves to wear. Fuck it. Ill be a cold bitch in NY, I guess..... Nope. Cuzzo came back and brought me my gloves. That is love. Real love.
I get on the bus and sit down. The two girls behind me are discussing how to make a gravity bong like it is something new that they just made up. They are young and loud.
I realize that:
- They are mouthy broads.
- They think their conversation is interesting to everyone around them and are being loud so they can share this "Amazing conversation" with the world.
- I hate them.
- I have often been a mouthy broad.
- I hate that about myself and will work hard to change it.
So I am headed into NY and I realize that it is a Full Moon, a Lunar Eclipse, New Year and my birthday, plus I would be at a wedding. Hmmmmm.
Long bus ride short, I get to NY and I am over an hour late. I then wait an additional hour for a cab. Get to the hotel and check in. I am severely late and missed the rehearsal dinner. I order a 30 dollar tuna sandwich from room service. It was a good ass sammich. I tell you that.
I put on shoes and go off in the world. I found Central Park.
I am a fan of Olmstead so I decide to wander over and pretend I am in an episode of Law and Order "SVU".
I headed over to Duane Reed (which I love), get lots of diet soda and head back to the Hotel.
Get back and meet up with the bride to hash out the details of the big day. Headed downstairs and hang out with "Bridesmaid No. 1" at the bar. We talk about NJ and NY and life and love.
We drink lots of vodka. Lots. Next thing you know, the following question is posited: "What do you call a gay guy who hates straight guys?".... The guy next to us says, "Harvard Grad?".... No. apparently the answer is: Heterophobe.
End up in a conversation with one guy about how DC makes no sense.... and I am trying to explain to him how its a grid and NY is much easier to navigate. He apparently hates the quadrants. (shrug...fuck Imma do.)
Soon we are discussing how I feel that sex just ain't right unless I'm at least 80 percent nude and then the bartender is talking about how the levels of rigidity and sexual conservatism in various cultures has an effect on how much clothing is worn during the act to keep the focus on procreation as opposed to exploring someones body in enjoyment.
Interesting....
Realize that I am too drunk. Way too drunk.
Stoopid vodka. I get sick. Twice. I realize that I should avoid Vodka. I realize that I must assist in wedding shortly. Sighhhhh.
I woke up the next morning with my head throbbing. I drink alot of water and order a 50 dollar breakfast. It was good but I was so hung over I prayed for death. I take my cell, blackberry and wedding folder and head off to the bride. I peep out the window.
Beautiful. Just Beautiful.Run around a see the reception space. Make sure that everything is ready.
Go to the wedding. Very nice. Very Catholic.
I get back and head up to the reception area. There is a slight Snafu. The Florist was supposed to scatter rose petals on the tables. They really just dropped off a shit load of roses so me and my assigned partner in crime scatter flowers over the tables and still have 2 dozen left over.
I go and get a cocktail and eat hors d'oeuvres. We reception. We reception HARD!!!!
There were these great centerpieces at the table and my buddy "Bridesmaid Number 2" won one. Now "Bridesmaid Number 2" lives in Maine and is going back the next day. IDEA!!!!
I now use my new "Rose Breakdown Technique" and a big bag... We fill this bag with rose petals..... Help the bride and groom wrap things up and then "Bridesmaid Number 2" and I go to Times Square at 2am and toss handfuls of rose petals at people. They seemed to enjoy it but please, be sure to say "Rose Petals". Otherwise they freak the fuck out. It was definitely a new adventure.
I spent the rest of the night talking to an "Old/New" guy. I've known him for a while but not as in depth as I would have liked to. That was how I spent the last few hours of my 26th year and the first few hours of my 27th year. I think it was one of the more quiet, pleasant and thoughtful experiences of my life. I ended the year with a peculiar feeling of strength, power and quiet reflection.
(Stay tuned for NYC Part 2)
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