Goddamn Crazy Magnet.
Things have been alil crazy with the rooftop pandemonium and all. I have this new habit that I am working on establishing in my life. I call it, "Breaking up with people that I'm not even dating". No, really. And it’s the best shit I ever came up with.
And it begins: I met a guy on a Wednesday night after getting drunk the night before.
Let me recap: The night prior to that, I was at a table in a club on a rooftop drinking large quantities of alcohol. I finally made it home at around 2am and still had to work.
So the next morning, I get up and head onto the train at 6am. I am dead to the world. No lie. We get to Penn station and I am still dead to the world.
The train unloads at Penn and goes to get cleaned in Queens. When I wake up, the train is rolling. I bolt up and run to the front. I find the conductor and ask "Am I headed to Queens?" because I've blatantly resigned myself to my fate.
He asks "Do you want to go to Queens?"
So I ask "Do I have a choice?"
Train conductor:"Sure! Just run to the back and we'll let you out!"
YES! Not even 8 am and I am surmounting adversity. Go me.
After work I am walking home and a cab pulls up to me. The guy was cute. 25. He looked like Clinton Portis mixed with Michael Vick, minus Herpes.
So I gave him my number and he hit me up the next day asking if we could hang. Ok. Fine. So Thursday night I went out and drove around with this cab driver. He was funny and interesting and it seemed promising.
The next morning he texts me to ask if I'd like a ride to the train station. Sweet.... but its only two blocks away so I pass. He meets me there anyway to talk because his shift isnt over. Ok. Fine.
That night I had plans with
my dad. I tell him as much.
Him:"Well can you meet me for a drink beforehand?"
Me: "Sorry, I really cant"
Him: "OK"
I get to the train station.... and he's waiting for me. HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 3 days in and we are already having a discussion about boundaries. He tells me he understands.
Next week, he stops by my house without consulting me first. He wanted to lock me in for a date that Friday. I try to explain that I am hostile when I get home. Tired, angry and borderline violent.
His answer: (enthusiastically) I like violent women. Especially when they hit.
Done. Fuck this. Shut it down. I have found that when shit looks crazy, its best to get out early. Once you let crazy in your life, its there. Crazy is hard to get rid of.
Most of the crazy paranoia stems from 2 places.
In high school I had a stalker. We were cool before he went crazy. I guess he always liked me. Well, one day he tried to push his way into my house. I slammed the door on his arm, repeatedly. I thought that would be the end of it.....
Until he called me when he got home and said "If you see me on the street, don't look at me or speak to me."
Ok. You angry. That's reasonable.
He continued "If I page you, don't call me back...."
umm, weird but I guess I can do that.(Tells you how long ago this was. I still had a pager.)
And then the final crazy straw.
"If I call you, don't pick up the phone."
How the fuck I'm spossed to do that. I don't have no damn caller ID. Couldn't you just do us all a favor and not call me!?!
It progressed into deeper crazy. This was my senior year of high school. Every morning, he would hide in the park across the street from my house in the morning and watch me as I left for school.... (He would hide behind trees and peek round them.) Most bizarre shit ever.
He didn't actually go away until he got arrested FOR BEATING AND ROBBING OLD PEOPLE. Swear to fuckin god.
My second true run-in with crazy was "Ex 07".
One night Ex 07 went out with his cousin. Ex 07 was an alcoholic. He promised to stay away from the alcohol and that he would be home that night but kind of late.
Sufficed to say, he ain’t make it home and it was a Saturday. Hair appointment day. I head out around 9 and my phone really doesn't work in the salon.
The minute I get close to the window, my phone is blowing up.
Its Ex 07 with the following convoluted ass story.
He went out with his cousin and fell asleep in Silver Spring. He'd promised his mother a ride from Clinton, MD to the airport which he missed because he overslept (later it was revealed that he was drinking the night before). Now his Mom was pissed and he needed his house keys so that he could go housesit and make it up to her. He then went back to my place to get his keys. I wasn't there (duh). So he walked a couple of blocks away to my job.... On a Saturday. Convinced the security guard to let him onto our floor and then knock on the triple locked heavy ass door for about 20 mins.
All of this dumbness culminated in "Could I leave my hair appt. to go back to dc to let him get his keys so he could go house sit? Or could he come to silver spring, get my keys so he could go get his keys and go to Clinton."
Dear god, why would I let your dumb ass take my keys an hour from my house with you to housesit? I swear I should have a job dealing with hyper reactive morons in crisis.
So I ask "Why do you need to housesit now?"
Ex 07: Cuz my mom is pissed.
Me: But how long is she gone for?
Ex 07: A week.
Ok. Not an emergency. Meet me in silver spring, ill take you to get your keys and drop off in Clinton later.....
Sigh... I swear. Dumb and crazy. Much worse than just plain crazy.
I am now wary of people who are too eager or too attentive. That shit seems to be crazy camouflage.
There is a growing list of waries actually. Ill share next time. This has gone on too long
And it begins: I met a guy on a Wednesday night after getting drunk the night before.
Let me recap: The night prior to that, I was at a table in a club on a rooftop drinking large quantities of alcohol. I finally made it home at around 2am and still had to work.
So the next morning, I get up and head onto the train at 6am. I am dead to the world. No lie. We get to Penn station and I am still dead to the world.
The train unloads at Penn and goes to get cleaned in Queens. When I wake up, the train is rolling. I bolt up and run to the front. I find the conductor and ask "Am I headed to Queens?" because I've blatantly resigned myself to my fate.
He asks "Do you want to go to Queens?"
So I ask "Do I have a choice?"
Train conductor:"Sure! Just run to the back and we'll let you out!"
YES! Not even 8 am and I am surmounting adversity. Go me.
After work I am walking home and a cab pulls up to me. The guy was cute. 25. He looked like Clinton Portis mixed with Michael Vick, minus Herpes.
So I gave him my number and he hit me up the next day asking if we could hang. Ok. Fine. So Thursday night I went out and drove around with this cab driver. He was funny and interesting and it seemed promising.
The next morning he texts me to ask if I'd like a ride to the train station. Sweet.... but its only two blocks away so I pass. He meets me there anyway to talk because his shift isnt over. Ok. Fine.
That night I had plans with
my dad. I tell him as much.
Him:"Well can you meet me for a drink beforehand?"
Me: "Sorry, I really cant"
Him: "OK"
I get to the train station.... and he's waiting for me. HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 3 days in and we are already having a discussion about boundaries. He tells me he understands.
Next week, he stops by my house without consulting me first. He wanted to lock me in for a date that Friday. I try to explain that I am hostile when I get home. Tired, angry and borderline violent.
His answer: (enthusiastically) I like violent women. Especially when they hit.
Done. Fuck this. Shut it down. I have found that when shit looks crazy, its best to get out early. Once you let crazy in your life, its there. Crazy is hard to get rid of.
Most of the crazy paranoia stems from 2 places.
In high school I had a stalker. We were cool before he went crazy. I guess he always liked me. Well, one day he tried to push his way into my house. I slammed the door on his arm, repeatedly. I thought that would be the end of it.....
Until he called me when he got home and said "If you see me on the street, don't look at me or speak to me."
Ok. You angry. That's reasonable.
He continued "If I page you, don't call me back...."
umm, weird but I guess I can do that.(Tells you how long ago this was. I still had a pager.)
And then the final crazy straw.
"If I call you, don't pick up the phone."
How the fuck I'm spossed to do that. I don't have no damn caller ID. Couldn't you just do us all a favor and not call me!?!
It progressed into deeper crazy. This was my senior year of high school. Every morning, he would hide in the park across the street from my house in the morning and watch me as I left for school.... (He would hide behind trees and peek round them.) Most bizarre shit ever.
He didn't actually go away until he got arrested FOR BEATING AND ROBBING OLD PEOPLE. Swear to fuckin god.
My second true run-in with crazy was "Ex 07".
One night Ex 07 went out with his cousin. Ex 07 was an alcoholic. He promised to stay away from the alcohol and that he would be home that night but kind of late.
Sufficed to say, he ain’t make it home and it was a Saturday. Hair appointment day. I head out around 9 and my phone really doesn't work in the salon.
The minute I get close to the window, my phone is blowing up.
Its Ex 07 with the following convoluted ass story.
He went out with his cousin and fell asleep in Silver Spring. He'd promised his mother a ride from Clinton, MD to the airport which he missed because he overslept (later it was revealed that he was drinking the night before). Now his Mom was pissed and he needed his house keys so that he could go housesit and make it up to her. He then went back to my place to get his keys. I wasn't there (duh). So he walked a couple of blocks away to my job.... On a Saturday. Convinced the security guard to let him onto our floor and then knock on the triple locked heavy ass door for about 20 mins.
All of this dumbness culminated in "Could I leave my hair appt. to go back to dc to let him get his keys so he could go house sit? Or could he come to silver spring, get my keys so he could go get his keys and go to Clinton."
Dear god, why would I let your dumb ass take my keys an hour from my house with you to housesit? I swear I should have a job dealing with hyper reactive morons in crisis.
So I ask "Why do you need to housesit now?"
Ex 07: Cuz my mom is pissed.
Me: But how long is she gone for?
Ex 07: A week.
Ok. Not an emergency. Meet me in silver spring, ill take you to get your keys and drop off in Clinton later.....
Sigh... I swear. Dumb and crazy. Much worse than just plain crazy.
I am now wary of people who are too eager or too attentive. That shit seems to be crazy camouflage.
There is a growing list of waries actually. Ill share next time. This has gone on too long
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