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FUNK DAT (Fuck You Friday!)

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FUNK DAT! The first day of my period is by far the worst day of the month. I am a heinous and evil bitch. On the first day of my period, I would rather do the following instead of talk to you: Stab you in the eye with a pencil. Slit your throat Or my personal favorite Disembowel you. This is an Ode to "Tell em how you feel Thursday." ... I'm calling it Fuck you, Friday. Dear Faux Nice Guy, First off, you from philly. Me and philly got issues. Last time I was in philly, nothin too crazy happened. But the time before that a stripper tried to fight me. Me and philly have beef and I hold you accountable for it. City of brotherly love My dick! Anyways, I will never go out with you. It has become real apparent to me that I will never drop draws for you so why bother going on a date. I think your niceness is really bullshit. You say shit that turns me off constantly. Even if it weren't for your strained attempts at conversation (I'm sure your tattoo is awesome), state...
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I'm in Miami, Bitch!!!

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Ok, so I'm actually back from Miami. I haven't been writing as much lately. Between work and personal, theres never enough time in the day. Lemme just recap Miami for you. I got drunk Wednesday night and wandered home to find a dude asleep in the cubbyhole to my apartment. Real talk, I thought it was my roomie when I walked up. Like "Damn Bitch! You couldn't even make it in the door?" But no. It was random sleepy man. He was very apologetic tho. I told him, "Fuck it. Folk gotta sleep and shit". Lets just say this : Wine plus Ciroc.... tasty but not the best idea. When I woke up for my plane on Thursday, I was not in the best shape. I arrived at the airport hungover and confused. Get on the plane and finally arrive. Here are my pics of firsts. 1st drank First meal First drunk pic First drunk clothing change Apparently, Miami is the land of "TOO MUCH DAMN ALCOHOL".... Like buy one get one free, but one costs 25 dollars and is roughly 80 ounces o...
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Recap with my Shrink and a Declaration of Singledom

I woke up this morning real sadlike. I woke up knowing that I would have to do something very difficult today. I was going to have to break up with my therapist.... Or at the very least stagger my appointments. See, my job changed my health care. The new shitty ass health care that they gave me is taken by virtually no one. Exhilarating. And right before xmas. Merry fucking xmas. I heart sanity and shit but I cannot afford to spend 2K a year to keep it. When I first walked into his office, I couldn't articulate what was wrong. I was upset but I couldn't say why. Nothing was wrong but Nothing was right either. I was extremely depressed. My gyno recommended that I take up jogging. Tip: When very depressed, do not attempt to jog as a remedy. It is impossible to jog while sobbing. (I speak from personal experience.) He took time. Never questioned me. Waited for me to learn to trust him and take down my guard. He never lectures and never judges. And He helped me immensely in ways t...
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