Shit I'm not here for (That's that shit I don't like)

My tolerance for shenanigans has decreased drastically in the last few months. I have been mentally compiling a list of "Shit I'm not here for". This is my personal list and I'm sure everyone has their own list of stuff they can't fuck with but I felt like getting mine down in writing.

People at my door
Do you have a package? Do you have delivery food? If you can't answer yes to either of these questions, go away. Proselytizing... nope. Energy scam... Naw. No. I have said it before and I will say it again: I ain't pay all these door monies to have people up in here knocking on my door. If I don't know you or you aren't invited, go tf away. You could be Ed McMahon with some money. Idgaf. Get off my stoop.

People with too much energy
When people have a manic level of energy, that shit makes my spirit uneasy. Rather than deal with that, I'll just walk away. Too tired for this shit.

People who lie about dumb stuff
I'm 35 (soon). I don't have the energy to sort through whatever insecurity you are trying to work through by lying. If your story doesn't add up I will drop you. I can't unravel it and I won't bother. It's just too much for me.

Argumentative ass people
I understand that some people get  satisfaction from arguing. I just don't want to participate. I get no validation from being "right" or proving you "wrong". College was 4 years of arguing things in papers and presentations. Asserting my position and supporting it. But at the end of those 4 years, I had a bankable degree. I don't argue for free anymore. It's not for me.

Messy ass people
Do you always have some drama? I can't fuck with you. We too old for this. I don't know if you are just unlucky af or if you make all the poorest life decisions but I can't fuck with you. The mess that is your life just doesn't add up and though it is your choice, I don't need to witness it.

Long ass emails/texts
If we have an issue that requires a dissertation on your part to reach a resolution, let's just quit now. I don't want to type this much to settle some shit with a friend. The only person I want to spend that much time resolving shit with is my spouse (cuz we in it for life). Let's part ways before either of us feels the need to move on to a second paragraph.

People coming at my husband incorrectly
Don't get fucking checked. Only I get to complain about or check my husband. We work hard at marriage and making our shit solid. We are a team and if you come for him, you are coming for me as well.

People who just wanna shit all over stuff
If something good happens to me and you cant be positive and have to try and nitpick it.... You are not for me. I call people like that Eeyores. You're mopey and negative. Keep that shit in your own sad section. Don't be Eeyore. Don't be that guy. Likewise, If i feel like I cant be positive for you, I will hold my tongue or excuse myself from our friendship. Life is too short for us to be assholes to one another.

People who assign negative intent to peoples actions
Everyone is not out to get you. If you walk around perceiving every incident to have a malicious undertone, we probably won't get along. It probably isn't about you and even if it is, fuck em.

I should make clear that, if you fall into any of the above categories, you should continue to do you. At this point in my life, I dont expect anyone to change who they are or how they do things but I do have the choice whether or not to deal with your particular brand of bullshit and I would rather not.