If I liked it, then perhaps I woulda put a ring on it....

I am alil soft right now. It's cool. I think I like somebody. I do not think I will talk about him very often. cuz I like him. And the more I like someone, the less I blog about them.

My head is all in Math right now. Middle school is where I started taking algebra. I actually thought that my public school education was okay, but now I am seeing that I don't know what a coefficient is. I am unsure as to how I ever graduated high chool.

This is making Gre studying very difficult.

Anyway, mathematically my equation of "Like" looks alil something like this:

There is an inverse correlation between how much I like someone and how often I mention them in my blog.

I like being in "Like". and this "Like" feels comfy and not at all "Supercool".

"Supercool" is what I dub people who are "too cool" to be silly, or have fun. These are normally the people in the corner, talking shit about how "lame" everyone else is, when really they are too self conscious to get out of the fucking corner because they are too worried about being called lame by the other "Supercool" people standing in the opposite corner.

I am not "Supercool", tho I used to be...

I was "Supercool" in middle school. "Supercool" got me a fierce smoking habit and a taste for bourbon. I am too old and comfy in my shell toes to be "Supercool" any longer. Now I am super dorky. Sometimes I am super drunk... Sometimes, (just sometimes), I trip over myself and yell out "I coulda died!" to distract people from the fact that I trip over myself...

I was sick last week. Then I got betterish. Then I fell into "like"... and it got cold out. Being in "like" told me that I should hang out til all hours of the night with my object of "like".

"Like" - the no. 1 killer of my already sorry ass immune system.

So, I'm in "like".
This means all of the following:

1. I will write less.
   This is a natural occurrence when in the midst of "like".
   
   
2. I will get laid less.
   Well, technically I will get laid more. But by the same person. kinda.
   This means that Plan A is now Plan B, cuz I like Plan A ... But I don't "Like" Plan A . Ya dig?
   
   
3. This will lead to interesting moral dilemmas.
   Like "What to do about Oh So Sexy?" I honestly don't have the energy to mull it over right now and I am too in "like" to care about such trivial things.

Yesterday, I got a call midday from Bail. I loathe getting calls while I'm at work. I work from 9 til I get off and if I know the call ain't about nothin Imma probably be annoyed. But I was mid text (to Sr. Like) and accidentally pressed the answer button. Then I stared at my phone for a minute and hung up. He called right back (cuz he's that guy).

So I answered:
Me: Hey, I'm at work. Can't talk.
Bail: Ok. When you get off?
Me: (this 3rd degree shit is one of my pet peeves. You the Feds? Wtf?) 7ish.
Bail: Ok. Call me when you get off.

Now, I knew this wasn't gonna happen. I had plans to go to the movies. I went and saw "Notorious" last night with Greggreg... It was better than I thought it would be. They shoulda dubbed that shit "Puff Daddy stay dancin at every opportunity".

I got home around 11 and text Bail with something like "Just got home". He proceeds to call me immediately. Another one of my pet peeves.

If I text you, it's probably because I don't want to fucking talk. I just got home @ 11. I was tired. I hadn't eaten. It's cold as Fuck. Last thing I wanna do is sit on the phone and talk. Honestly, i think it's a generational thing. Every guy I meet over the age of 30, detests texts and wants to talk on the phone. Under 30.. We text our asses off. They should put that shit on Eharmony compatibility tests, like "Do you prefer texting or phone calls?"...

Had this guy texted me, I doubt the convo would have went like it did.

Me: Just got in the house. What's up?

Bail: I thought you said you got off work at 7. (Hold up. What? You tryin to catch me in a lie or something? FEDS MUCH? PRESSED? I'm not your girl. FUCK!)

Me: I did but then I went to a movie with my homeboy.

Bail: I wanted to go to a movie with you. I had tickets and everything. Why didn't you call me when you got off?

Me: I had to book. I went straight from work to meet him and then we went straight to the movie. I didn't know you wanted to go to the movies but I made plans with him a week ago so I couldn't cancel. but next time you should text me.

Bail: That's why I told you to call me soon as you got off work. It don't matter. The tickets are trash now.

Me: My bad. I didn't know.

Bail: Why you don't never make time for me?

Me: We both been busy. You just got back from Vegas, plus it was the holidays.

Bail: You didn't hit me up saying you wanted to see me while I was in Vegas. You just texted me Happy New Year. You don't never make time for me....

This is not entirely accurate. He texted me with "Happy New Year" and I replied "Ditto". Then he hit me with the "I see you can't call nobody", to which I replied "It's my birthday. Ive been busy. Later wit all that drama". I get a text back talkin bout "Oh, Happy Birthday. Shit, I'm in Vegas but if I wasn't, Id do some shit to you." I didn't bother replying. Sometimes, I just look at my phone, shake my fuckin head and just toss that shit back in my purse.

Me: My Bad.

Bail: I don't like that shit. You come thru. Fuck and then don't never call, come see me or nothing.... I ain't seen you in almost 2 months.
Lies. It's only really been a month

Me: I don't like all this. We having a discussion. Like we in a relationship or something. I don't like all this drama. I been busy. Ill call you next week or something but this drama shit is way too much. Smile or something. Shit. Its 2009.

Bail: I'll smile when you give me something to smile about....

Me: See, I don't want that. I don't want to be held personally responsible for your happiness. You should be making yourself happy. I don't want that burden. If I make you unhappy, Imma need you to go off and do you....

Bail: Well, I don't know what to tell you. You ain't done nothin to make me happy.

Me: See.... Uh uh.

Bail: Man. Just call me next week.

Now I'll confess : I hit. Once. Like in November or some shit. Wasn't nothing to write home about. It was cool and all but then he went on this whole other, like "Imma make you my girl" type shit and Honestly... If i liked it... I woulda put a ring on it.

That shit was my bad for fucking someone who was (as Greggreg would put it) "All in his feelings". I wish that motherfucker had been wearin a sign that said "I am clingy... And Needy. And I whine like a bitch...." <*SIGH*> This is what I get. Hit once. Pay for it forever. SMMFH! (shaking my motherfuckin head....)

• Sometimes I'm wrong. Like "dead wrong"... and it offends people.
  But All I'm sayin is this:
  When someone is kidnapped, I assume they're dead off break. If they turn up alive, it's a pleasant surprise. If not, at least I get the satisfaction of being right...
  
  
• Yes We Can
  I've been running around, misusing the term "Yes we can". I think I Od'd on it. THere is this "Rat Free DC" campaigan, and i guess that's what started it all cuz when i saw the Poster for it... My brain processed it as "Yes We Can have a Rat Free DC" and it took off from there.
  
  
  1. Yes we can eat cake
     
  2. Yes we can buy shoes
     
  3. Yes we can play Wii
     
  4. Yes we can take a nap
     
  5. Yes we can sleep til noon and wake up and watch a movie.. Yes we can
  
  
  
  
  Additionally: I need motherfuckers to stop acting like it is my duty to club for Barack. I actually got a club text and said I wasn't going. DUde hit me back "How you gonna let down Barack like that?". This election was so much bigger than just another reason to have a fucking party and I see so many people making financial gains off of something that I truly feel deserves more reverence than that. Honestly.... Barack would rather I stay home, learn math and get my Gre and better some shit.....
  
  
• That nigga Giles and I converse about Cheese (via Gchat)....
  Me: giles smells like gouda
  Giles: dont even know what that looks like
  tastes or smells like for that matter
  Me: deliciousness?
  Giles: grew up in the hood... cheese types aint really my thing
  Me: you know that the new white man loves a nice cheese....
  Giles: LMAO exactly. boondocks
  Me: true my friend. Imma need you to get up on yo cheeses. like now. you fucking up. you one white girl and a cheese tray away from success.
  Giles: thats officially a quotable homie
  
  
  
• Illest shit that I heard at work the other day: "Nickels shine among pennies but still aint dimes". Mull over that one for a lil bit.
  
  
• Things I want people to stop doing on Myspace:
  
  1. Flicking off the camera
     What tha fuck did I do to deserve that? Is your life really so difficult, are you really so misunderstood that you have to take photos that scream "Fuck the world". Is that really necessary?
     
     
  2. If I see one more Myspace photo proudly displaying pounds of weed...
     I swear. Are you retarded? don't you see that they tag your IP address when you upload shit. WTF?
     
     
  3. Nude photos.
     When you transmit a nude photo over the internet, it is forever. Even if you delete it. It is still there forever. dont. Dont do it.

I am heading off to NJ. My dad is getting EKGd. He is in the hospital. Ill write when I can. Aloha.