The Good, the Bad & the Semi-Literate

So.... I'm getting divorced. Take a beat. Process it real quick.  Takeaways are: I'm fine. I'm happy. All is well. But now I'm back to “dating” and I got on the apps pretty quickly. Needed to find out if the men were still out there doing men ass shit.  They fuckin are. They are out there and horny as ever. Strange Man: Hi. How are you? Me: Well. How are you? SM: Horny. Well fuck.  Buy a girl a drink first. Really just no warm up or warning. Same bullshit, different day. So as I go back into dating, I have to define what I am looking for and who I am. I’ve learned that while I don’t consider myself a sapiosexual, I need intelligence. I’m not interested in people who cannot banter. I don’t want to rely on one person to fill all my needs either.  That’s a lot to ask of one person and I like variety. I’m interested in seeking out pleasure and connections, wherever that should take me. As some of you know, I moved to Maine. What Maine is low on is black people. And I’m ...

 When I was working in New York there was this place called "S'mac" and I really loved this fig, brie and rosemary mac and cheese. Yeah, I know. It sounds weird but it works.  Found a recipe online that was close so I modified it to get it closer and here it is. Some of y'all are gonna read this and go off about the sanctity of traditional mac and cheese. That's cool, I fuckin get it. If you don't want to try new shit, fine.  I recommend it but if you don't fuck with it, don't fuck wit it. I don't need a dissertation in the comments bout this shit so chill. Also, if you don't like cooking but want to try this anyway or any of the other mac and cheeses from S'mac, here is the goldbelly link. People seem to love the buffalo chicken too.  https://www.goldbelly.com/smac Parisienne Mac and Cheese  (modified from  https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=1667881) Minutes to Prepare: 20 Minutes to Cook: 40 Number of Servings: 8 ...

My tolerance for shenanigans has decreased drastically in the last few months. I have been mentally compiling a list of "Shit I'm not here for". This is my personal list and I'm sure everyone has their own list of stuff they can't fuck with but I felt like getting mine down in writing. People at my door Do you have a package? Do you have delivery food? If you can't answer yes to either of these questions, go away. Proselytizing... nope. Energy scam... Naw. No. I have said it before and I will say it again: I ain't pay all these door monies to have people up in here knocking on my door. If I don't know you or you aren't invited, go tf away. You could be Ed McMahon with some money. Idgaf. Get off my stoop. People with too much energy When people have a manic level of energy, that shit makes my spirit uneasy. Rather than deal with that, I'll just walk away. Too tired for this shit. People who lie about dumb stuff I'm 35 (soon). I...

This baby been yelling at me. Pick her up. She is back the fuck asleep. Can a mommy drink some Châteauneuf-du-Pape and watch Mike Tyson's Mysteries in peace? Fuck man....

Let's first talk about this labor.... I was induced Sunday night at 8:30 pm. We didn't actually have the baby until Tuesday morning at 2 am. Prior to going into labor I said, "I'm going to do this naturally". I took hypno-birthing which was great for relieving anxiety about labor but pretty much went out the window during the induction. Stay tuned for some gory details.... The doctors put a balloon in to open my cervix. This went fairly well but the baby wouldn't come down the birth canal so they gave me Pitocin. I was told that they top out at 20 mls. The contractions were uncomfortable but not unbearable. Once we got to 16 mls, I was still hanging in there but as the nurse reached for the button to up the dose, I caved. I had gotten to the point that the only thing I could visualize was my goddamn grave. I wasn't dying but I wanted to. Once I got the epidural, it was smooth sailing essentially. I pushed for maybe an hour and a half, cursed out eve...

My life is drastically different from before. I got married and I had a baby.... Yeah, yeah. I know I wasn't about having a baby per se but I settled down with the man with whom I'd been traveling, working and spending free nights watching T.V. We have a house with a yard and a pretty adorable baby. I was right about some things. She was a big ole parasite and I do mean big. Born 10 lbs, 1 ounce vaginally. I am on maternity and will be writing a bit about my mothering in the mean time so sit back and enjoy the ride. Here is the section for the disclaimer: This is not a "Mommy Blog". It is a blog that is going to have some mommy shit on it because I am now a mom. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list of mommy shit and I am not a doctor. If you have a concern about something, go to a doctor, not fucking Google.